Battle Royal (eBook)

Lady Jersey Very dashing.

George, look to her qualities. I understand she’s not too tall, nor too short. They say she’s neither fat nor thin; that her teeth are going, but she has good hands. And I hear she has a good bust, and bright eyes.

George Her eyes trouble me.

Lady Jersey Love at first sight is to be hoped for but when it does not happen then you must live with that fact, and hope affection blossoms.

George The expression in her eyes was –

Lady Jersey Was what?

George Wrong, it was wrong.

Lady Jersey Celebrate! Because of this marriage your father approves of you, Parliament is paying off your debts, and the nation is thanking you for giving them an excuse for getting drunk. Your popularity has soared.

George But why is she not married already?

Lady Jersey Probably because she’s been living in Brunswick.

George Her father’s a fine man, by all accounts.

Lady Jersey And the King likes her mother, so in marrying his sister’s daughter you’ve done something to please him.

George But …

Lady Jersey George?

George No. Nothing.

Lady Jersey George?

George Heirs. Children.

Lady Jersey Pretend you are with someone else.

George Yes.

Lady Jersey Think like a wife in a loveless marriage.

George Your marriage isn’t loveless, is it?

Lady Jersey No. If I were she, George, I would want to make you as comfortable as possible.

George I don’t believe you are envious.

Lady Jersey In order to reassure you, I’m merely explaining how she shall be.

Servant Your Highness, Mrs Fitzherbert has arrived.

George Oh? Oh. Ask her to wait.

Servant And Lord Malmesbury is here, also.

George Does he know Mrs Fitzherbert is here?

Servant No, sir.

George Maintain his ignorance, and tell him I am indisposed.

Servant He is set upon seeing you, sir.

George Tell him I shall see him as soon as I can.

Frances, please excuse me.

Lady Jersey Of course. Courage. (Exits.)

Maria No.

George Maria.

Maria Cannons are drawn up in the park. The streets are bedecked with flags. I’ve been trying to think what to do. How to be.

George Yes.

Maria And is it true that Parliament will pay off your debts?

George Is it true?

Maria Is it?

George Yes.

Maria I don’t think that having your debts paid for you can be described as ‘doing your duty’.

George The discharge of the debts is a side issue, a consequence.

Maria Your dissemblings are so childlike, so easily apprehended.

George Maria, I assure you that Parliament offered to pay off my debts only after I’d agreed to marry.

Maria They offered afterwards? I think not. It appears to me that the discharge of your debts may be the cause of the marriage, and not a consequence, especially, as it seems to me, that you have lied to me.

George Everything I say to you in this matter – I am conscious that every utterance in connection with this matter is hurtful, so if I have omitted details it is to shield you, and myself, from upset. It is my duty to marry, and I cannot deny that I am happy that I shall be relieved of my debts, debts which you, incidentally, have enjoyed contributing to, but the discharge –

Maria I do not make you extravagant.

George That very brooch came from a scoundrel of a jeweller who threatens to publish my debt to him.

Maria Have it back then, return it to him.

George No, I do not want it, it is yours.

Maria Then do not blame me for –

George I do not blame you, but you enjoy being the recipient of presents of precious jewels, you imbibe the finest wines, and you reside in the most modern buildings finished in the most fashionable decor; and I am pursued by jewellers, vintners, builders and decorators who besiege my purse and if I wasn’t who I am I’d languish in Fleet debtor’s gaol.

Maria So then. She shall be blessed by the Archbishop of Canterbury whereas our furtive union was conducted by an insolvent clergyman whom you persuaded with the promise of a Bishopric.

George Not that he needed much persuading. He needed to get out of gaol and we needed a man of the cloth, no matter how shabby. See, you’re almost smiling.

Maria Allow me some bitterness, some jealousy. Would you prefer it if I weren’t jealous?

George I wish, I wish so completely that I did not have to –

Maria How much do you owe?

George It’s impossible to say until their demands have been rigorously examined.

Maria What is your record?

George Not all these matters are conducted in writing, and the builders, for instance, invariably exceed their estimates, so –

Maria A hundred thousand? More? A hundred and fifty thousand? More? Much more? Two hundred thousand? More? A quarter of a million?

George Your income is what – two thousand a year? If my debts were a quarter of a million, how many years would it take to pay that sum off at a rate of two thousand a year?

Maria One hundred and twenty-five years.

George What year would the debt be discharged?

Maria Nineteen-twenty.

George Well, my probable debt, if one was to pay it off at two thousand a year, would be discharged in the year two thousand one hundred and ten. So, you see.

Maria You must go through with it, then.

George You can see that, can’t you?

Maria Yes. I can. You have been very foolish with money.

George But setting aside my debts, I am still expected to marry.

Maria If our marriage is void, then I am a fornicator.

George It is not void. We have our certificate, which I have divided, and placed in two matching lockets, one for you, and one for me, to wear at all times. I have risked my succession for you.

Maria And I have risked excommunication for you.

George Oh, Maria.

Maria Is she pretty?

George No.

Maria And is Lady Jersey her Lady of the Bedchamber?

George Is who, what?

Maria George, you heard and comprehended what I just asked.

George Yes. Yes, Lady Jersey is Lady of the Bedchamber.

Maria Poor Caroline. Look me in the eye and tell me that Lady Jersey is not your mistress.

George Lady Jersey is not my mistress.

Maria Then what is she?

George My friend.

Maria This is all very distressing.

George For us both. Two days after, may I visit you?

Maria I shan’t be at home.

George Oh?

Maria I’m going away.

George Can you tell me where?

Maria I’d rather not –

George Go down to Brighton –

Maria No. I’m voyaging overseas.

George Oh?

Maria Tonight. It’s the best way I can manage; to make myself entirely absent.

George Can you tell me the date of your return?

Maria The date is when I feel able.

George You are my true wife, Maria, my queen, but you have always known –

Maria I thought, I hoped that you might, I deluded myself that when it came to it, you might simply not do it.

George Please, stay –

Maria I’ll wear the locket. (Exits.)

George I’ll see Colonel McMahon. Before Lord Malmesbury.

McMahon Your Highness.

George Ah. Yes. McMahon. Have someone follow Mrs Fitzherbert.

McMahon Yes, sir.

George She’s going overseas.

McMahon Yes, sir.

George Just where, and when, and … Everything, really.

McMahon ...