Mob Trap (eBook)

ACT I

(Lights come up revealing ROBIN TYROL, wearing an apron, dusting furniture in the lobby of the Christie Inn & Lodge.)

RADIO

...In sports, the Knicks topped the Bucks at the Garden last night, the Rangers lost their match-up with the Bruins in Boston and Ralph Kiner was voted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame over the weekend, so we can expect a lot of Pirate fans next door in Cooperstown this summer for his induction. Meanwhile, in entertainment news, The Godfather Part II was once again tops at the box office, edging out The Towering Inferno. Director Francis Ford Coppola seems to have done it again. Does this mean a Godfather III is on the way?

(Robin stops to consider the question then returns to dusting.)

RADIO

We’ll have to wait and see. Once again, our top story, the murder of a local man. Seventy-five-year-old Felix Maione was found stabbed to death this morning with a butcher knife in his east side apartment. Neighbors say Maione, a lifetime Christie resident, was living alone at the time. Police are still looking for suspects.

(Front door opens and shuts.)

RADIO

More on the Maione case tonight at eleven. And now, the weather-

(Robin turns off the radio.)

ROBIN

Lawrence? Is that you?

LAWRENCE

(offstage, from entrance)

Were you expecting someone else?

ROBIN

Yes, but not for another hour or so. Did you bring the firewood?

(LAWRENCE TYROL enters with an armful of logs.)

LAWRENCE

Yes, yes I have the logs Robin.

(struggling)

Where should I put them?

ROBIN

Where do you think? Use your logic.

LAWRENCE

Thanks for the helpful suggestion, dear.

(He dumps the logs by the fireplace then kneels to stack them.)

LAWRENCE

I know you have a lot on your mind. But there’s no need for sarcasm.

(While Lawrence stacks logs, Robin notices a crooked picture frame above the mantel. She awkwardly stands over him while attempting to straighten the picture.)

ROBIN

I’m sorry if that came out a bit sharp honey. I was trying to be kind.

LAWRENCE

It’s okay. I understand you need to put things in order before your big grand opening-Wait is that redundant? “Big grand opening”?

(thinks for a beat)

Doesn’t matter. I simply didn’t want to upset the apple cart.

(Standing awkwardly over Lawrence, Robin struggles to get the frame straight.)

ROBIN

The apple cart is not disturbed in the least darling.

(teetering)

And sarcasm and kindness are identical. There’s no difference between the two. It’s all in the timing and...

(Robin’s frustration overcomes her. She knees him out of the way.)

ROBIN

...delivery!

(Lawrence tumbles over. Her path now clear, she finally straightens the picture.)

ROBIN

Thank you very much dear. You’ve been most helpful.

(Lawrence stands up.)

LAWRENCE

Come here honey.

ROBIN

What is it? I have work to do!

LAWRENCE

Just come here for a second.

(Robin goes to him. He embraces her tightly.)

LAWRENCE

Thirty years working for the city has certainly prepared you for success in the service business.

(Robin notices lint on the couch over his shoulder. She struggles to escape, but he won’t let go.)

ROBIN

Once again, most cherished husband, thank you very much. You’ve been most helpful.

LAWRENCE

Very good. I could almost sense the kindness that time.

(Robin finally escapes. She removes the lint, then grabs a pillow and fluffs it, punching it repeatedly.)

LAWRENCE

But I do have a little something that might elicit some goodwill towards your loving and supportive husband. A token,if you will.

(Lawrences grabs the clearly tense Robin again, turns her around and begins rubbing her shoulders.)

LAWRENCE

Because you will no doubt require a deep well of empathy and patience if you want to get through this weekend. And the next one after that. And the next. And so on...

(The back rub is taking effect as Robin starts to loosen.)

LAWRENCE

Because running a bed and breakfast is a long-term venture. There will be good days and god-awful days. Enjoyable guests and excruciating ones. Fun and frustration...

(The buildup causes Robin to grow impatient again.)

LAWRENCE

Profits and-

ROBIN

Pain, if you continue trying to relax me through alliteration.

(She breaks away.)

ROBIN

Now what is this good luck present you want to give me? The guests are set to arrive in an hour and I still have to get dinner prepared and stock the mini-bars and-oh what else? Is there chalk in the billiard room? Did you get chalk liked I asked?

LAWRENCE

I got the chalk. It’s right here.

(Lawrence pulls out three cubes of chalk from his pocket.)

ROBIN

Three cubes? That’s all? What if they need more?

LAWRENCE

It’s more than enough chalk for a weekend. Or a week. Maybe a year.

ROBIN

Don’t patronize me either. We’re not in a bustling metropolis with lots of diversions for the guests.
All we have is the Baseball Hall of Fame a half hour away, if you call staring at Babe Ruth’s jock strap entertainment. Don’t you understand? They need things to occupy their time between meals. What about the music room? Did you get the piano tuned like I asked?

LAWRENCE

Please! The piano is fine. Unless you have Vladimir Horowitz coming, nobody will notice one bit. Now try and relax. Enjoy yourself. Even for a brief moment. You have a full house on your very first weekend. That’s an amazing accomplishment.

(Robin exhales. She opens her arms to him.)

ROBIN

I know. I’m sorry.

(He walks into her arms. They embrace.)

ROBIN

And thank you honey. For everything.

(She leaves him and walks behind the hotel counter. She opens her guest book, picks up a pencil and studies it.)

LAWRENCE

I still don’t know how you did it. But you did. All five rooms filled. And not a dime spent on newspaper or radio or television advertising.

ROBIN

I don’t know. It just happened. I know I couldn’t have afforded any real promotion. I’m already stretching my budget. Beginner’s luck maybe?

LAWRENCE

Doesn’t matter. You deserve it. You’re such an angel. All those years working your tail off for practically nothing. Helping find homes for kids. Never having any of your own. I don’t know how you did it.

ROBIN

I was always so busy at work. It never seemed like the right time. And I never had the right partner. Until now. I’m so lucky to have you. Not just here, helping me with this-whatever crazy thing I’m trying to do here, but in life and in love. I’m so sorry honey. I’ll try and lighten up and enjoy the moment. Really.

(kisses him)

Now, gimme, gimme, gimme! What’s this gift you keep chattering on about? I want it. And I want it now!

LAWRENCE

Oh, my kind, compassionate wife.

ROBIN

I was being sarcastic.

LAWRENCE

Same thing, you said?

ROBIN

Just get the fucking whatever thing you were going to fucking get. I have guests coming in an hour!

(checks her watch)

Less than an hour!

(Lawrence runs to the front door and stops.)

LAWRENCE

You’re going to love it!

ROBIN

I’m sure I will.

(She blows him a kiss. He catches it and exits. She wipes dust from the hotel check-in counter.)

ROBIN

(loudly, to the door)

Haven’t I always loved your gifts? The knife set you got me for our anniversary? So thoughtful.

(She sarcastically pats the bow-tied knife set on the counter.)

LAWRENCE

(shouting from outside)

I can’t see your face. Which one was that? Sarcasm or kindness?

ROBIN

Neither. That’s marriage talking.

(Robin walks to the fireplace. She adjusts the chair in...