INTRODUCTION

If you even glanced at the front cover of this book, you know what it's about. And if you're some weirdo who picks up a book and starts reading it without looking at the front cover first, this is a book for men about cheating. Let's get two things straight:

1. This book is gender specific for one reason: we're dudes. If we were chicks, we would've written a book to help women act like pigs. But we're not, so we didn't. Besides, women don't need any help in the deceit department. That's not a cheap shot. It's a respect thing. With this book, we're trying to up our game to reach their levels.

2. We're not telling you that you should cheat. We're telling you how to cheat. Understand that. If you do something you're not proud of after you read this book, don't start whining that 'the book made me do it' or 'it wasn't my fault.'

You did want to do it, and it is your fault. And don't cry if you get caught. Getting busted is part of the game. Nothing is 100-percent guaranteed in life. The unexpected can always happen. So don't try to sue us after you get pinched, like some tub of shit who blames Taco Bell after a heart attack.

At some point, at some time, most men cheat. This book is predicated on that fact. We figured it was about time someone sat down and wrote a how-to on the subject. After all, if you're going to cheat, it's better for everyone if you don't get caught. This guide, if you take it seriously and pay attention, will teach you to cheat successfully.

Yes, seriously.

This book will take you step by step through the entire process of cheating, from choosing your mark to keeping glitter out of your pubes. We will break down this ancient art, present possible pitfalls, and provide you with solutions, all to make you a better cheater. This is information you need, especially in these harsh times when outrageous statements in divorce court such as 'she's used to a certain lifestyle' or demands of forty grand a month in child support in order to feed a kid Froot Loops are not considered highway robbery. This is a very dangerous time to be a man if you are even thinking about stepping out.

The first rule of successful cheating is Own your own shit. If you're going to step out, you've gotta be a man about it. Control is key. Assess your situation, form a strategy, execute your plan, and take no prisoners.

Do you wanna get your dick wet or not? Then stop being a pussy.

A big part of not getting busted is recognizing what type of cheater you are or will be. This stems directly from your personality traits. There are guys who cheat for sex, guys who cheat for the rush, and guys who cheat for romance. Depending on your style, different rules and regulations apply to the approach. Not every cheat will play out in the same fashion. And women, diverse as they are, are also going to affect the circumstances. You need to be as familiar with her personality as you are with your own. We're going to cover all of this ground thoroughly.

See, guys tend to think that fucking around is black and white: you either do it or you don't. Looking at it that way is grounds for incrimination. The gray area is where to get all that sweet, discreet, extramarital ass. Infidelity is an incredibly complex endeavor, so you need to have your shit together.

When it comes to scoring some side puss, this book will be the best friend you've ever had. Of course, you could toss this book aside and go take advice from your real-life best friend. That's probably not a bad idea. After all,...