From Teacher to Coach (eBook)

Chapter 1

• You will know when you’ve met a Coach
• The distinction between a Coach and a Teacher
• People don’t remember you for what you taught them. They remember how you made them feel
• Wisdom from my father
• The misconception that a Coach is a one-on-one experience

On May 30, 2022, I stood on top of a stool looking down at 16 Music Educators in Rwanda. I flew to Africa to teach sixteen music Teachers how to teach a ‘structured’ music lesson to children who were learning to play an instrument. These Teachers, who were gathered from different villages and music schools in the area, had no idea that their perception of a music lesson (and how a music lesson is taught) was going to change. I also didn’t realize how this trip would change my life.

“Raise your hand if you are a Teacher,” I yelled from the top of the stool. All sixteen of them raised their hands. Then, even louder, I yelled: “Raise your hand if you’re a Coach.” Not a single hand was raised.

Not everyone involved in this ‘pilot’ program I would be hosting in Rwanda approved of my ‘Coaching’ approach to teaching music lessons.

“You cannot come to Rwanda and tell these music Teachers you will be teaching them how to be a Coach!” exclaimed Mary Fanaro.

“But that’s what we are! We are not Teachers, we are Coaches,” I said.

“Mike, these people will think you came in to teach them to play basketball. You don’t understand, they do not know you and you don’t know the culture in Rwanda,” Mary said.

“Mary, you have to trust me, once I start going through the training, you and the group will understand how important it is to be a Coach and NOT a Teacher.”

And so, my journey began.

I have been showing the people who work with me at my three music schools how they can be Coaches for years. It isn’t until they see for themselves the differences between a Teacher and a Coach that they can identify with being a Coach.

You can’t just label someone a Coach. They need to see how being a Coach can affect a student. While Teachers educate a child, a Coach understands the best approach to educating the child. Notice the way I phrase that: A Teacher educates a child (the term ‘a child’ is generic), and a Coach educates the child (being specific to the individual). I am using my experience in Rwanda to show you, the reader, that no matter where you live in the world, being a Coach and NOT a Teacher benefits the student more than you will ever imagine.

It is my job to explain to you why that is true. To my knowledge, I run the only music school that refers to their educators as Coaches. Whenever I sit with my team and they refer to themselves as Coaches (and not Teachers), I smile. They do not say it because I am in the room, they say it because they truly believe in making a difference, and Coaches do just that. They make a difference.

When I set out to buy my third music school, I flew out to meet the team. They were all referred to as Teachers, not Coaches. I remember sitting in the school, in a circle, and asked each of the Teachers to define the differences between a Teacher and a Coach. At the end of the discussion, I asked each of them if they felt they were Teachers or Coaches. They all replied, “Coaches.” There was no coaxing or persuading. In fact, they felt more comfortable referring to themselves as Coaches simply because of the connections they all had with their students. I suspect there are people who are reading this book who already feel they are in fact a Coach and not a Teacher, and just hadn’t known it until now.

Although this book is written from the perspective of a music Coach, it applies to every educator. Whether you teach Math, Science, English, or Cello, I hope to change your perspective on how you approach educating and mentoring. I want to make you the most effective Coach you can be.

Many people will disagree with my critique of Teachers. You should know that I’ve been on both sides. I was a certified secondary education Teacher licensed in the State of New York and California. I left the school system after teaching one semester. I had the (dis)pleasure of witnessing firsthand the politics involved when working in the educational system. There is a limit to how much I can generalize from my experience with the New York City Educational System. But it is my view that public school systems care more about the results of standardized tests than their students.

I have seen parents inadvertently hurt their children by using their influence to persuade Teachers to turn a blind eye to their shortcomings. Coaches would NEVER let that happen, even if it means being reprimanded. At the end of this book, you will learn all about my experience as a Teacher in New York City’s public school system and how this institution failed the very person it was set out to help: the student.

My first Coach

At the age of 15 and a half, I finally found the perfect guitar Coach, not a guitar Teacher, a guitar Coach. I had no idea he was a Coach at the time.

At the age of 8, I told my mom and dad I wanted to learn to play guitar. My dad found a guitar Teacher who taught on the 2nd floor of my pediatrician’s office. I remember walking into this tiny room. He handed me an acoustic guitar (for an 8-year-old, the guitar was huge). He opened a Mel Bay Book and started teaching me to read sheet music. After two lessons, and an attempt to teach me ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’, I quit. I have yet to meet a musician who was inspired to learn to play an instrument after hearing ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’!

Years later, at 13-years old I tried again. My mom had asked around and found a guitar Teacher who played at our church. She signed me up for lessons. I’ll never forget the first day I met him. He came to my house, opened his acoustic guitar case, put a timer on my desk and set it for 40 minutes and started my lesson. All I remember is the ticking of the timer and an overwhelming sense of pressure to learn what he was teaching as quickly as I could before the time ran out. When the lesson was over, he told me that when I got good enough, I could play along with him at eleven o’clock mass.

I looked at him and said, “I don’t want to play eleven o’clock mass. I want to join a rock band!” And that was the end of my guitar lessons. In fact, there was a moment in time when I felt maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Boy, am I glad I didn’t stop looking.

I often say the Universe (or God) has a way of creating a path for us. However, it is up to YOU to determine if the path contains an obstacle you cannot navigate around. So often people give up too quickly when life throws them a curve ball. It is up to us to overcome what’s stopping us or give up and do something different. As I look back on my journey to find a guitar Coach, I thank the Universe (or whomever is responsible) for putting these obstacles in my way.

Two more years would pass before I would find a Coach.

At age 15, I was hanging out with a friend who took guitar lessons from this local guitar hero (which I did not know at the time), named Kenny. My buddy pulled his guitar out from under his bed, picked it up and started playing. He was terrible. He told me his guitar Teacher would record backing tracks on a cassette tape and he’d play along to them. All I remember was he was either out of tune or playing all the wrong notes. Regardless, I didn’t think he had a good guitar Teacher.

I asked myself, “Why is he taking lessons and such a terrible guitar player?”

What happened next set in motion the events that would change the course of my life.

“You’ve got to go to my guitar Teacher! Kenny is the best guitar player in Brooklyn! Let’s call him and set you up for a lesson,” my friend suggested.

My immediate reaction was “NO! Absolutely not.”

In my mind, Kenny could not possibly know how to teach, or play, based on how my friend sounded when playing the guitar.

So naturally my excuses kicked in ... “Nah, I would never be able to afford it!”

And my buddy said not to worry, “He teaches hourly, we can set you up with half hour lessons and I am sure he can teach you for 30 minutes a week.”

I was unable to decline quickly enough. In a few seconds, he was on the phone calling to schedule my first guitar lesson with Kenny, who agreed to a 30-minute guitar lesson.

I walked to Kenny’s house on East 48th Street in Brooklyn. I rang his bell, and no one answered. Thank God! I just got out of taking lessons with another terrible guitar Teacher. I turned and started to walk away. Then, from a distance, I hear, “Mike, is that you?”

I said yes.

Then Kenny yelled, “I’ll be right up.”

The door opened and I see this guy who looks like Randy Rhodes. If you don’t know who Randy Rhodes is, he played guitar with Ozzy Osbourne. Like Randy Rhodes, Kenny had long blond hair and looked like he belonged on stage at Madison Square Garden.

I walked through Kenny’s living...