I'm Speaking Up but You're Not Listening! (eBook)

Forms of Bullying

Don’t be fooled by what you see. Bullying comes in all sizes, shapes, genders, races, religions, and ages. Verbal threats, stealing, intimidation, exclusion, physical harm, name-calling, humiliation, and manipulations are some tactics that are serious — and forms of bullying.

Bullying doesn’t just consist of students bullying one another. I have seen children being bullied by their parents, guardians, teachers/educators and higher authorities. What does that achieve?

Honestly, it is really sad. I think to myself, who are children supposed to trust? Who are they supposed to confide in if the “adults” are the ones who are the bullies? When a child is bullied by an adult how should a child respond? The child cannot fight back or take up for themselves when it comes to confronting an adult that is the bully.

When a child is being bullied by a grown-up it changes their frame of thinking, and at times they shut down because they feel confined in a box with no one to turn to. Some children hesitate to speak to their parents or a responsible adult because they feel an adult would believe the other adult over a child.

When I was in sixth grade, my teacher told my father I had disrespected him, which wasn’t true. The teacher was very upset because he asked me to wash the board and clean the band room as punishment for something I did not do. As I was sitting down in the band room, one of my classmates scooted my chair back without my knowing. I neglected to look to see if the chair was there before I sat down; because it had been there when I got up to adjust my stand and music sheet. After I cleaned my clarinet I “thought” I was going to sit in my chair; instead I landed right on a hard tile floor. I knew who did it, because once before the girl stole my clarinet and lied about it.

After I fell on the floor the entire class was laughing. It was humiliating. The band teacher was outside talking to another teacher. I jumped up and punched the girl in the face. I was sick of her always picking on me and stealing from me. I’d had enough!

The teacher only saw me defending myself, yet he accused me of starting the fight without bothering to ask what happened. He sent me to the principal’s office. However, the girl stayed in class.

I tried explaining to him what happened, but he began to yell at me, saying, “Go to the main office now!” After I went to the main office, I was told I was going to have In-School Suspension (ISS) for a week. The administrator sent me to class with a pass. My teacher told me I had to wash the boards and clean the band room. I told him, no, because I didn’t do anything wrong.

He took two steps towards me, got in my face, tightened his lips and said in a firm harsh voice, “You are going to do what I say, or else.” I told him, “I catch the school bus home, and I can’t miss it.” He said, “I don’t give a damn how you get home. I do know you are going to do what I say. If not, I will make sure you do not play an instrument for the entire year; and you will clean the band room while you are in class and all the instruments.” I looked at him and said, “No”.

He yelled at the top of his lungs and said, “Get out of my classroom right now!” As I tried to get my book bag he yelled and said, “This is my classroom! If your stuff is in my classroom it belongs to me, now get out!” I waited outside his classroom until the bell rang. I tried walking in to get my book bag, but he stood in the doorway and wouldn’t let me in. I got on the bus without my belongings.

My daddy was home early from work. He asked me how was my day, I told him what happened. He said, “Baby girl, you know there are always three sides to a story; your side, their side, and the truth.” He said, “I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and after I talk to your teacher, I will make a decision if you are going to be on a punishment or not.”

Daddy and I went up to the school and we had a teacher, student, and parent conference about the issue. That was the first time in a long time I saw my daddy so upset. The night before, I think he was trying to keep his composure. However, in the meeting, my daddy told my teacher off in a respectful manner, because he wasn’t happy with how I was being treated or how my teacher spoke to me.

He spoke with the administrator and principal; he told them they should be aware of how the students were being treated. The administrator acted as if she didn’t have a clue what my daddy was talking about. The band teacher told my daddy I was disrespectful and disturbing the class.

My daddy went on and asked, “Did you attempt to listen to her side of the story?” Everyone was silent. My daddy answered the question for them and said, “No, you didn’t even think to ask. Furthermore, you didn’t think to listen when my daughter tried explaining what happened.”

The assistant principal said, “Children are prone to lie to get themselves out of trouble.” My daddy said, “How would you know if you didn’t take time to listen?” My daddy went on to say, “In my house, my children are able to speak their minds in a respectful way, and I teach my children that in order to receive respect, you have to earn respect, despite your age, because everyone should be treated fairly.” (My daddy is a Marine and we had rules and regulations to follow. With that being said, we were raised differently from other children my age, something which I appreciate until this day).

My daddy told me to go to class so he could talk to my teacher, the administrator, and principal alone. I do not know what was said but I do know that I did not have In School Suspension. The faculty and staff treated me with respect (even teachers whom I didn’t know).

When I arrived home my daddy and I had a talk. He explained to me how a human being should be treated. He went into deep details about how he was proud of me for standing up for myself despite the other person being a higher authority. My daddy took time to talk to me about life and people.

I appreciated my daddy going to the school to speak on my behalf, and I appreciated my daddy for taking up for me. It made me feel more than loved. It made me feel secure. By my daddy taking time to listen to me, and not believing every word of what the teacher said it gave me a voice and the confidence to speak up. It formed a bond between my daddy and me because I knew I could talk to him about anything without being blamed for something I didn’t do.

Sometimes I wonder, what if my daddy didn’t listen to me? What if my daddy believed the teachers? What would my life be like today?

If I knew then what I know now, I would have known that I was a student being bullied by my teacher by him threatening me, scolding me, and holding my belongings without my permission.

Teachers bullying students is a topic that is rarely discussed; it’s often too complex to identify and to address because of the lies that are being covered up by some of the teachers and administration. They try to make it difficult for parents to defend their children by making up senseless excuses; and/or by trying to convince the student it was their fault. Being bullied by a teacher or administrator in the school system is ignored and not called out for what it is; bullying.

The teachers and administration are bold enough to bully parents as well. They try to convince the parents that something is wrong with their child. They run different tests, monitor the child’s behavior and make up excuses to make the parent think their child needs special attention and medicine to be able to be “tolerated.”

Brice, the son of my friend, was in seventh grade and he told her he didn’t like going to school because his teacher was mean, rude, always embarrassing the students in class by calling him and his classmates names. Jaya admitted that she didn’t take what her child said seriously because she thought that he was making up excuses to get out of going to school.

One day, on the way to school, Brice voiced his opinion again and said, “Mom, please do not make me walk into the school building. Please.” Jaya parked the car and had a little chat with him. Brice said, “My teacher called me an idiot the other day. Not to mention, she was writing on the board talking to herself out loud saying “These kids are so dumb I do not know why I am here.”

He went on to say, “Mom, she said that because sometimes we do not understand the work and we ask her to she repeat herself so we can write down the notes. She says no. We are not supposed to take notes while she’s lecturing.”

He continued, “Mom, I know we are not supposed to take notes in class, but how can I remember my math equations and how to solve the problem? Then she always making sarcastic remarks and has a nasty spooky smile on her face, saying, “Come on, you guys, I know some of your parents have smart kids.” Or she’ll say, “I know you better than this, I know at least one of you knows the answer to this kindergarten question; or do I have to walk down the street to get a preschooler to answer this question?”

Brice continued and said, “Mom, one day, she started speaking another language out of nowhere. She was speaking Portuguese and she said to the class, “Why are you guys looking at me with a stupid face? You act like you cannot...