Reconcilable Differences

Andrew Christensen, PhD, is Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles. He has published widely on couple conflict and couple therapy. With Neil Jacobson, Dr. Christensen developed a treatment program for couples called Integrative Couple Therapy. Reconcilable Differences is a couples' guide to their approach. Currently, Dr. Christensen is directing a research study at UCLA and the University of Washington, sponsored by the National Institute of Mental Health, which examines the outcome of two important approaches to couple therapy, including Integrative Couple Therapy. This is the largest study to date of the effectiveness of marital therapy. Neil S. Jacobson, PhD, was Professor of Psychology at the University of Washington until his death in 1999. One of the most widely cited family therapists in the world, he was author of 200 articles and 9 books. His contributions to the fields of family therapy and mental health were recognized by prestigious research awards from the American Family Therapy Academy, the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, and the National Institutes of Health.

Three Sides to Every Story. Part I: The Anatomy of an Argument. "You're Wrong!": Relationship Problems as Faults. "How Can You Be That Way?": Relationship Problems as Incompatibilities. "Can I Give to You without Losing Me?": Incompatibilities over Love and Power. "I Do but I Don't": Confusing Incompatibilities. "You Know How to Hurt Me": Relationship Problems as Vulnerabilities. A Cure Worse Than the Disease: Relationship Problems as Solutions. Part II: From Argument to Acceptance. The Delicate Balance: Acceptance and Change. A Story of Our Own: Acceptance through Understanding. Walking in Your Partner's Shoes: Acceptance through Compassion. Getting Some Perspective on the Conflict: Acceptance through Tolerant Distance. Part III: Deliberate Change through Acceptance. The Dilemmas of Deliberate Change. How Good Advice Can Be Bad for Your Relationship: Accepting the Foibles of Rules. Why a New Approach Can Lead to the Same Old Thing: Using Your Own Story to Make Genuine Change. Lost Battles Can Win the War: How Change and Intimacy Can Emerge from Defeat. Part IV: When Acceptance Is Not Enough. "Don't Do That to Me!". Call in the Professionals. Appendix: Internet Resources.