MICK

Well?

DAVIES

Nothing, nothing. Nothing.

A drip sounds in the bucket overhead. They look up. MICK looks back to DAVIES.

MICK

What’s your name?

DAVIES

I don’t know you. I don’t know who you are.

Pause.

MICK

Eh?

DAVIES

Jenkins.

MICK

Jenkins?

DAVIES

Yes.

MICK

Jen … kins.

Pause.

You sleep here last night?

DAVIES

Yes.

MICK

Sleep well?

DAVIES

Yes.

MICK

I’m awfully glad. It’s awfully nice to meet you.

Pause.

What did you say your name was?

DAVIES

Jenkins.

MICK

I beg your pardon?

DAVIES

Jenkins!

Pause.

MICK

Jen … kins.

A drip sounds in the bucket. DAVIES looks up.

You remind me of my uncle’s brother. He was always on the move, that man. Never without his passport. Had an eye for the girls. Very much your build. Bit of an athlete. Long-jump specialist. He had a habit of demonstrating different run-ups in the drawing-room round about Christmas time. Had a penchant for nuts. That’s what it was. Nothing else but a penchant. Couldn’t eat enough of them. Peanuts, walnuts, brazil nuts, monkey nuts, wouldn’t touch a piece of fruit cake. Had a marvellous stop-watch. Picked it up in Hong Kong. The day after they chucked him out of the Salvation Army. Used to go in number four for Beckenham Reserves. That was before he got his Gold Medal. Had a funny habit of carrying his fiddle on his back. Like a papoose. I think there was a bit of the Red Indian in him. To be honest, I’ve never made out how he came to be my uncle’s brother. I’ve often thought that maybe it was the other way round. I mean that my uncle was his brother and he was my uncle. But I never called him uncle. As a matter of fact I called him Sid. My mother called him Sid too. It was a funny business. Your spitting image he was. Married a Chinaman and went to Jamaica.

Pause.

I hope you slept well last night.

DAVIES

Listen! I don’t know who you are!

MICK

What bed you sleep in?

DAVIES

Now look here –

MICK

Eh?

DAVIES

That one.

MICK

Not the other one?

DAVIES

No.

MICK

Choosy.

Pause.

How do you like my room?

DAVIES

Your room?

MICK

Yes.

DAVIES

This ain’t your room. I don’t know who you are. I ain’t never seen you before.

MICK

You know, believe it or not, you’ve got a funny kind of resemblance to a bloke I once knew in Shoreditch. Actually he lived in Aldgate. I was staying with a cousin in Camden Town. This chap, he used to have a pitch in Finsbury Park, just by the bus depot. When I got to know him I found out he was brought up in Putney. That didn’t make any difference to me. I know quite a few people who were born in Putney. Even if they weren’t born in Putney they were born in Fulham. The only trouble was, he wasn’t born in Putney, he was only brought up in Putney. It turned out he was born in the Caledonian Road, just before you get to the Nag’s Head. His old mum was still living at the Angel. All the buses passed right by the door. She could get a 38, 581, 30 or 38A, take her down the Essex Road to Dalston Junction in next to no time. Well, of course, if she got the 30 he’d take her up Upper Street way, round by Highbury Corner and down to St Paul’s Church, but she’d get to Dalston Junction just the same in the end. I used to leave my bike in her garden on my way to work. Yes, it was a curious affair. Dead spit of you he was. Bit bigger round the nose but there was nothing in it.

Pause.

Did you sleep here last night?

DAVIES

Yes.

MICK

Sleep well?

DAVIES

Yes!

MICK

Did you have to get up in the night?

DAVIES

No!

Pause.

MICK

What’s your name?

DAVIES

(shifting, about to rise) Now look here!

MICK

What?

DAVIES

Jenkins!

MICK

Jen … kins.

DAVIES makes a sudden move to rise. A violent bellow from MICK sends him back.

A shout.

Sleep here last night?

DAVIES

Yes …

MICK

(continuing at great pace) How’d you sleep?

DAVIES

I slept –

MICK

Sleep well?

DAVIES

Now look –

MICK

What bed?

DAVIES

That –

MICK

Not the other?

DAVIES

No!

MICK

Choosy.

Pause.

(quietly) Choosy.

Pause.

(again amiable) What sort of sleep did you have in that bed?

DAVIES

(banging on floor) All right!

MICK

You weren’t uncomfortable?

DAVIES

(groaning) All right!

MICK stands, and moves to him.

MICK

You a foreigner?

DAVIES

No.

MICK

Born and bred in the British Isles?

DAVIES

I was!

MICK

What did they teach you?

Pause.

How did you like my bed?

Pause.

That’s my bed. You want to mind you don’t catch a draught.

DAVIES

From the bed?

MICK

No, now, up your arse.

DAVIES stares warily at MICK, who turns. DAVIES scrambles to the clothes horse and seizes his trousers. MICK turns swiftly and grabs them. DAVIES lunges for them. MICK holds out a hand warningly.

You intending to settle down here?

DAVIES

Give me my trousers then.

MICK

You settling down for a long stay?

DAVIES

Give me my bloody trousers!

MICK

Why, where you going?

DAVIES

Give me and I’m going, I’m going to Sidcup!

MICK flicks the trousers in DAVIES’ face several times.

DAVIES retreats.

Pause.

MICK

You know, you remind me of a bloke I bumped into once, just the other side of the Guildford by-pass –

DAVIES

I was brought here!

Pause.

MICK

Pardon?

DAVIES

I was brought here! I was brought here!

MICK

Brought here? Who brought you here?

DAVIES

Man who lives here … he …

Pause.

MICK

Fibber.

DAVIES

I was brought here, last night … met him in a caff … I was working … I got the bullet … I was working there … bloke saved me from a punch up, brought me here, brought me right here.

Pause.

MICK

I’m afraid you’re a born fibber,...