Walking in My Shoes (eBook)

Where I Began

I am sitting in my parents’ kitchen listening to them reminisce about old memories from the 1950s — the war, when they met, when they left New York City and when they had me. The years and the decisions that would change our family, decisions made by two city kids who just wanted a better life. We are enjoying a salad straight out of my dad’s garden, spicy mustard lettuce, endive, radishes, assorted peppers, tiny onions, and juicy tomatoes. Outside the window Longhorns meander by, grazing on the lush green grass as they lumber slowly and methodically down to the pond to cool off on this hot Texas day. A wind turbine hums. Two completely different worlds colliding. We are sorting through how these two city kids got here, today, almost 70 years after they took a chance. My dad is 91 now, my mom is 88. They are enjoying bouncing stories back and forth, filling in the gaps for each other; I am jumping in with questions. Occasionally a memory becomes emotional; I can see them pause as they drift back in time. My mom is amazing at recalling details; guess it is a mom thing. They remember the 1950s as a hopeful time, a time of change; the booming interstate highway project connected cities and allowed people like my parents to leave the city neighborhoods where they grew up, and where generations of our family lived. My parents were the first to leave; they were the only ones who would. It was a time of building highways, tunnels, and bridges. Our country was growing up and my parents were on the verge of changing the direction and opportunities for our family for generations to come.

It is strange taking this trip back in time, back to and through memories. The past is so important to knowing why we are who we are, where we came from, what we learned growing up and from whom. Stepping back through the years and experiences, each one helps define how I became the woman I am. Back to the beginning, my beginning — 1957, the peak year for the baby boomer generation. WWII Army General Dwight D. Eisenhower was President, Richard Nixon was Vice President. It was the year the Soviet Union launched Sputnik, the first man-made object to be placed into earth’s orbit. The United States would respond the next year creating the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, NASA. The space race had begun. The Civil Rights Act of 1957 was signed. It was the first federal civil rights legislation passed in Congress since 1875 protecting voter rights and establishing the civil rights division of the Justice Department. It seems surreal to me that two young kids from Baldwin, New York, who had never left home except to fight in a war, with just the money in their pockets, a used car and the promise of a college education could become part of the American Dream.

My dad graduated from high school in June of 1950; in July he enlisted in the Army. North Korea had just invaded South Korea. The Army sent him to basic training, jump school and then assigned him to the 187th Airborne Infantry Regiment. When the war ended in July, 1953, Dad’s division stayed to secure equipment and the border. In April 1954 he was shipped home with a purple heart and the G.I. Bill. He returned changed but determined to turn the stress of war into an opportunity otherwise out of reach for him — a college education. He had a few months before he would head to college, but as fate would have it, that summer he met my mom. It was a casual neighborhood meeting. Dad’s best friend was dating Mom’s best friend. He and my mom were engaged three months after they met, and Dad went off to his freshman year at the University of Maryland. They married the next summer. She was 20 he was 23.

Rent was $40.00 a month for their first home (soon to be mine), an old army barracks on the campus of the University of Maryland which had been turned into apartments for students on the G.I. Bill. He was the first in his family to go to college; I would be the second. My dad was President of the Sigma Chi fraternity at the University of Maryland his senior year. From freshman year he was always involved in fraternity leadership and even worked odd jobs around the fraternity house to make extra money. He got lucky and landed a job as an assistant student trainer for the college’s basketball team, the Terrapins. The job paid pretty well and afforded him a great deal of time to study while the athletes were in the whirlpools. He also had great seats for every game.

My mom worked fulltime for the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad. Evenings were spent helping my dad write papers and study for exams. Mom remembers being 22, pregnant with me and voting for the first time in the 1956 Presidential election. General Dwight D. Eisenhower was running for a second term. I would be born the next April at the end of my dad’s junior year. My mom always planned on returning to the railroad after I was born; money was tight, and the railroad paid very well. But when the time came to return, she could not do it. She wanted to be a fulltime mom. When my dad graduated from college in 1958, jobs were tough to find. My mom recalls packing up the apartment and the old Ford Falcon station wagon, ready to head back to New York when my dad got a call to interview with Reuben H. Donnelley Corporation. That interview began a 30-year career in the Yellow Pages.

Graduation 1958, University of Maryland

The sales job with Donnelley meant they did not have to go back to New York, to family. They had made it out and could continue their own path. Dad was meant to be in sales. Brought up in a family with a father who walked out when he was only 11, my dad jokes that his first sales job was going to the landlord’s house and explaining why the rent was late, again. The new job afforded a bigger apartment in College Park, $80.00 a month, where we would live for the next two years and where we welcomed (everyone except me) my new sister in 1960. I can remember like it was yesterday, April 19, 1960, the day they told me I had a new sister. When they brought her home from the hospital, I positioned myself in her crib, gripping the wooden slats, screaming to take her back. Mom said I insisted on a brother so having a sister was bad enough, but she had the nerve to be born six days before my birthday. There was no way I was not going to be a brat every year at my sister’s birthday parties. My mom said I was such a nightmare that she had to come up with a plan. Consequentially, my whole childhood, to keep the peace, I shared a birthday party with my sister.

Celebrating Birthdays ‘Together’

In 1962, with two kids, the old Falcon still running strong, and a loan from my dad’s grandmother, my parents moved us to our first house in the DC suburb of New Carrollton, Maryland. New Carrollton was one of the first suburbs, and young families flocked there for affordable starter homes. The beltway had just been built around DC which made commuting to the city possible. There were three different, cookie-cutter styles of houses, repeated down the sidewalk lined streets. Ours was a tiny split level, walk out basement, no garage. The nice houses had carports (at least as I saw it). How fancy to have a covered place to park your car! My sister and I shared a room and soon we had a baby brother, born in 1964. Mom and Dad could finally afford a second car; a used 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air. It was fun to live in a big neighborhood; there were so many kids, and every parent had the same rule; stay outside until it starts to get dark. I remember hours and hours of cops and robbers on bikes and playing kickball in the street until we could not see the ball anymore. The Smith’s dinner bell signaled time for dinner in every house on the street. I have memories of riding my bike up to the grocery store parking lot every Saturday to go to the book mobile. The smell of fish sticks cooking in the oven told me my parents were going out to play bridge. Most nights we had pot roast or meatloaf. Swanson’s TV dinners served on folding metal TV trays were a big treat because you were guaranteed dessert.

Our first house New Carrollton, Maryland

Reuben H. Donnelley had an office in downtown Washington DC on Wisconsin Avenue. They shared a building with a local TV station, WTTG-TV Channel 5. Donnelley ‘kids’ were in the perfect spot to get invitations to the taping of the Bozo the Clown and Cousin Cupcake Show. Willard Scott Jr. was Bozo; he later went on to be Ronald MacDonald for the DC MacDonald’s franchise, and of course, later weatherman on The Today Show for 30 years. This TV station was the site of my first public speaking engagement that lives in infamy in my family. I was invited to be on the Romper Room Show with Miss Connie — do be a do bee, don’t be a don’t bee – and everyone was excited. I was on the TV show for a week. We said the Pledge of Allegiance at the start of each show and prayed before our snack. We watched in excitement as Miss Connie held the Magic Mirror and told the kids watching from home that she could see them. During one show Miss Connie asked the preschoolers, “What’s new at your house today?” I announced that we were getting a new fence for our back yard because my mom and dad were mad that our neighbors kept cutting through our yard and waving in our windows. My parents were mortified; they still cringe today retelling the story. Of course, the whole neighborhood was...