24 Hour Toddler (eBook)

Chronicles of a SAHM

Arra Amaru (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2022 | 1. Auflage
186 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
978-1-6678-3367-5 (ISBN)

Arra Amaru takes you through an unfiltered lens of her trials and tribulations of being a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom). At this job, mommies are on call 24/7. There are no breaks. No vacations, No days off. So put on your seatbelt and enjoy the ever-lasting ride through mischievous mornings, toddler tantrums, slain snacks, and sleep time shenanigans. Guest starring, Joey, a tot at the brink of the so-called terrible twos. Through Arra's journey she starts to realize two's aren't so terrible after all if you are in the right headspace to endure them.This mommy was once driven to the brink of a mental collapse but through metamorphosis made her way through to the other side. Unscatched and ready to relish in the joys of mommyhood. Once unraveled, this incessant rollercoaster becomes a candid, risque adventure that many moms will appreciate: through exasperation, distress, resentment, anxiety, humility, laughter, elation, adventure and delight. I welcome you to take part in this journey.

PREFACE

Now, are you wondering who I am? What makes me capable of writing this book?

Well, I happen to hold the title of Mommy. Mommies are the most capable beings around, or at least we adapt to being so simply because we have no other choice. Just as nature intended. We must exceed all capabilities when caring for these little humans. I was actually taken aback on finding that the Merriam Webster's dictionary defines mommy as such:

_______________________

MOM·MY | / ˈMÄ-MĒ

: A FEMALE PARENT

_______________________

“Wait, hold on a damn minute. That's it, that's all we get?”

No offense to these men but who in the hell created this definition. It had to have been a man because had it been a woman, as long-winded as we are, it would be a paragraph long at least. Just factor in the many trials and tribulations we've endured whether it be during labor, postpartum, or through the later years of toddlerhood. I will be damned if the title of “Super Human” gets denigrated to a trio of text.

Now let me start by saying mommyhood is awesome, the most adventurous experience I've had thus far. I wouldn't change it for the world. Now in that same breath;

Am I ready to do it all over again?

My initial thought is HELL NO (because I'd be a mental basket case with 1+). The final verdict is HELL YES because I owe it to myself and let's be frank here: My child needs a sibling or he will only ever want to play with me. I think of how that sounds as I say it and it makes me want to start right away in the direction of the baby factory. Hide and Go Seek can get pretty exhausting after a few dozen continuous rounds and with only (3) spots to hide. I could use some interference.

All jokes aside, when considering having more children just make sure you're doing it for you. Not for your spouse or for a playmate for your child. You have to be ready in all aspects. I can admit I'm not as ready as I would like to be but I am working towards being ready. So many women never get past the mental collapse that comes with being a mommy. You should not be expected to put a bandaid over a “womb” that has yet to heal. Give yourself time and grace.

In times like these, we mommies have to stick together. There are a lot of moms feeling the effects of postpartum whether it's a month to a few months, a year to a few years later. There are several factors and variables at play. We all have different stories but it all draws back to one thing “we're all mommies and nobody will ever truly understand the plight of a mom unless the person is a mom.” I commend anyone that tries but it's just the reality. Maybe later, I will share how much of an asshole I was in my understanding of what moms really do. That was long before my one-way trip to mommyland.

Doesn't matter if you're a Stay At Home Mom (hereinafter referred to as SAHM) or a working 9-5 mom. Heck, a 9-5 is still 24-7 because once you clock out of one job you're getting home and clocking in to your other job. I feel for you mommies with toddlers on “bring your child to work day” talk about a double whammy. Eminently, if you're a working mom who happens to be nursing I know the struggle all too well..

• Have you ever had to pump at work? I pumped in a utility closet, 3x a day with a handmade sign taped on the door. I then had to discreetly wash my pump parts in the community sink while stashing my milk in the community fridge. All the while, hoping this isn't the day my lunch bag disappears.

• Have you ever had to pump in the bathroom at an event?

• Have you ever had to rush to the bathroom of a restaurant and squeeze milk into the toilet cause your boobs were so full they were about to burst?

• Have you ever had to pump in traffic? Without tinted windows?

Oh, I have done all of the above, and they’re not fun.

Seriously, no one thought to explain how a “let down” works. I was seriously taken aback when I started pumping one side and milk started coming out the other. I didn't know lactation consisted of a dual simultaneous drought. It's a messy process at home, now picture that with a hand on the steering wheel driving in Los Angeles rush hour traffic, down Wilshire Blvd at that. You are still working for a child at work if you're pumping, and when you get home and through the night into the early morning. I can say though that I was relieved sometimes to leave for work just to have “me time” on the way to and from work. I was afforded the rare opportunity to eat my lunch while it was hot. Lunch breaks are what I cherished most. I couldn't wait for the lunch break to try all the restaurants in the neighborhood. I think I probably spent ½ of my net income on lunch meals. I put all my frugalness to the side during that short-lived month and had a blast. I will never forget the look on my husband's face when I’d come home. He would have that “tag you’re it” face. I could always tell he was exasperated. At the time, my little one was 2 months old, however, I was determined to go back to work. It took a lot of compromise and negotiation for my husband to even agree to that. And maybe a sprinkle of bribery in the mix.

I knew this “work thing” would be short-lived. I knew that eventually, I would be transitioning to being a full-time SAHM. I figured I had a handful of months to wrap this up as the separation anxiety phase would be lurking around the corner. To be honest, I'm not sure if separation anxiety stemmed from me or from him. Overall, covid happened a few weeks after going back to work and offices in LA closed down. I took this as my sign to exit the industry.

As the weeks transgressed, freedom became a distant memory. The pumping fiasco began. Do y'all know how exhausting it is when an alarm goes off 8x a day to remind me to pump? Every time I ignored it I ended up with leaky, engorged boobs, and a drenched bed. “I love waking up in a puddle of my own milk.” Said No One EVER. Well, no sane person EVER. It's the same feeling I get from stepping on something wet with socks on. I just cringed thinking of that moment. My face is frowned up like a pug in real-time. I feel so disgusted with myself that I race to get the sock off immediately. Almost so disgusted that I'm ready to throw the sock in the trash but I come to my senses and snap out of it.

It's not hard to see why I eventually switched to exclusive breastfeeding. Wow, why didn’t anybody tell me this would buy me more freedom and more sleep? When I mean “more sleep,” it still means no sleep but with the absence of late-night screams, a lethargic husband heating up a bottle of milk every 2-3 hours.

-No more sanitizing two dozen bottles a day and cleaning out pump parts each time.

-No more yelling at my husband for misplacing a small intricate part from my pump, rendering it useless.

I got some of my life back with this one transition. I also discovered the ancient art of ”dream feeding.” Dream feeding is when the baby starts to stir awake and you hurry up and nurse him back to sleep before an eye could open. Heck, as soon as I heard a murmur, I had my trigger finger on the milk tap ready to fire. I didn’t even let him wake up fully. This was by far the best insider information I've gotten as a mom, and which I still utilize to this day. Listen, my child is on the cusp of two. I am still nursing him and there is no way I would be able to write this book in the middle of the night if it weren’t for dream feeds. As soon as I hear the baby sigh, roll over, blink too hard I dash in there to get him milked back down to sleep before he becomes completely aware of what has transpired. If he comes looking for me, I just know my night is over. Especially if he spots his favorite toy on his mom-finding mission.

Overall, I knew my place was at home, nurturing my seed. We didn't have family around and still don't. Nobody to watch our child, ever. All date nights were for a party of 2 and a half.

And most daddies don't fare well during the toddler transition when they get thrust into more of a primary caretaker position. I know, “primary caretaker?”

Is there such a thing when you have kids together?

Sorry to burst your bubble. But POP. After all, there is no 50/50 in regards to childbearing. I don’t remember splitting my womb, cesarean, and milky boobs experience with anyone. So, I mean this with the utmost respect. Men, if you're reading this, don’t get offended. I am in no way or shape a feminist, so please give your moms, spouses, sisters their accolades, as we are operating within the confounds of the role that nature intended for us.

Now, mommies, primary caretaker just means the primary person that the littles rely on for their day-to-day. That in no way means anything other than that. Parental decisions when it comes to the child’s health and wellbeing, in my opinion, should be weighed by both parties. Of course, there are special exceptions, but to be fair, I'm married, and that's the only frame of reference I have via my own lens. However, if all decisions are for the well-being of the child, it's an even playing field where you must meet in the middle. I have divorced and separated friends who have sticky situations....

Erscheint lt. Verlag	14.3.2022
Sprache	englisch
Themenwelt	Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Familie / Erziehung
ISBN-10	1-6678-3367-7 / 1667833677
ISBN-13	978-1-6678-3367-5 / 9781667833675

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