LOVE YOU (eBook)

Chapter 1

July 1969

Departure day for Vietnam—a day we both looked forward to and dreaded for many months—finally arrived on 7 July 1969. Jim’s orders directed him to Travis Air Force Base, outside of San Francisco. He wrote three postcards en route to Vietnam.

7 July: Hi! Am in Travis and thought I’d write in case the Hawaii stop is short […]. Will leave here at 1:30 am your time. Flight time to VN is 19 hours. All is well. Love you. Jim.

8 July: Hi! Just a short note as we only have 30 minutes. It’s 1:30 am so can’t see anything (Hawaii). Bought some sleeping pills—hope they work. Love you. Jim.

8 July: Hi! Am in Okinawa now. 10 hours from Hawaii. Best I can determine Vietnam is 12 hours ahead of Cleveland. Should arrive in VN about 11 am local time. Managed a couple of hours of sleep and feel better. Love you much. Jim.

Jim’s Memories: As we approached our landing at Bien Hoa Airbase in Vietnam, everyone aboard the civilian chartered aircraft crowded near the windows for our first look at this place called Vietnam. The first thing we saw were a number of fires putting up large clouds of black smoke. Most of us had no idea what was happening, and some thought the base was being attacked. Then a returning soldier told us, “No, it’s not an attack. They’re just burning yesterday buckets from the numerous outhouses on base.” It seems that diesel fuel was the preferred method for that technique of waste disposal. Looking back, those fires were a subtle euphemism for what the next year contained. As we left the plane, we were greeted by over one hundred soldiers waiting to board, each yelling, “We have less seconds in-country than you have days [365]”—another sign of things to come.

Kathie’s Memories: At home, staring at our “empty” apartment with the boys running around inside, I couldn’t believe Jim was gone. In a way, I was glad the “journey” had started, so we could count down to the end. But I felt so lost and alone and didn’t know what to do or where to start or how to live without Jim by my side.

8 July: Dearest Kathie, It’s still a little hard to believe I’m here and I have no comprehension of how long the year will be. But somehow it will pass, and I’ll see you. Love you. Please take care. Write. The address is good. Tell the kids hello and give them a big kiss. Hope things are fine with your folks. Keep going babe, I know it’s tough, but we’ll make it. Love you! Will mail this in the morning—9 July. Let me know how [long]it takes. Tell Mom and Dad I talked with Ed and he’s fine. Will see him Sunday unless he can make it sooner. Love You!! Smile. Jim

10 July (9:15 pm): Dearest Kathie, Hi! How are things tonight? It’s raining like mad again but at least I’ve avoided getting wet today—first time—Ha! It’s been another busy day. Spent most of the time trying to read myself into the system […]. I’ll be doing a great deal of traveling once I get into things. Most likely I won’t start until early August. Don’t worry as there’s very little chance of anything happening on these types of trips I’ll be going on. I’ve got six enlisted men out auditing continuously so I’ll pick the nicest, safest trips—Ha! Also saw Ed today. His boss had a meeting in USARV [United States Army, Republic of Vietnam] so he came along, and we had lunch together. He’s fine and [looking] forward to coming home. Will see you the last week in July […]. Gee, tomorrow is Friday but by working Saturday & Sunday, tomorrow will have little meaning. Love you. Well, take care. Love you. Have yet to get a letter but hope to tomorrow. Smile honey because I love you!! Jim—Kiss the boys.

11 July (9:45 pm): Hi my love! Got your first letter today and did that ever feel good. No, I have no objections to the name “Whiskers”—Just remind him that he has a father and not to bite me when I get home. Ha! […] Will have all five auditors in the field tomorrow so will have a quiet day. Also have to process my finance records tomorrow. Will open a checking account as I still have $100 remaining from what I brought over. […] Attended the going away party for [Major] Himmelsbach [the person I replaced]. Again, another unreal part about Vietnam. Here we were grilling steaks and drinking in front of a house trailer (belongs to a GS-14) while you could hear the artillery and see the flares in the distance. I have no control over this war so guess I can’t complain. […] Well, take care, keep the chin high. Tell Jimmy & Mike that daddy is OK (I agree with your idea on the [Vietnam] news). I love them and of course you more and more each day. Smile honey, cause we love each other so much and that love will help the year pass easy. I love you. Jim.

12 July (9:45 pm): Dearest Kathie. Love You! Got letters 2 & 3 this evening. Was sorry to hear about Jimmy’s fall but am now more relieved than ever that the dispensary is near. Tell him he’s a big boy and I’m proud. Also tell both Mike & Jimmy that I’m proud of how they’re being such big helpers around the house. Love You! Gee things have been quiet but just in the last few minutes the mortars have started firing and two medical evacuation helicopters have landed. We’re right next to a big hospital so the wounded from nearby come right here. Still no rocket action anywhere near me. Smile. Love You! […] Visited the Commanding Generals Mess [dining facility] as I advise its financial operations and Wow what a plush place. Another unreal part of Vietnam. Also finally got my finance records processed. Was able to establish a $324.00 “S” Allotment [savings] once we figured the final pay. Will also be able to open a checking account with $200.00 so am saving for R&R already. […] Well, am running short of things to say except I love and miss you. You’re the only wife for me and I’m so proud of my entire family. Smile cause, I love you! All my love for ever. Jim.

Jim’s Memories: The military pay system allowed service members to establish allotments which were designated for specific purposes, i.e., support dependents, pay recurring bills and for savings. My allotments included one for Kathie’s living expenses and one for savings. The savings plan was called Soldier’s Deposits. All allotments were paid monthly.

14 July (9:45 pm): Well, it’s 9:45 and another day is gone. But at least I’m writing from different surroundings. That’s right, I’m in a permanent room. It’s about half again as big as my other room. With a wall locker, regular bed, chest of drawers and a FULL size […] refrigerator. John [Hampton] took me to the PX this afternoon so the frig is stocked with [soda and whiskey]. Tell Al I get [[…] a Quart for $1.80. Haven’t had anything tonight as today was “pill” [for malaria] day and am a little loose tonight. Love You! […] No mail again today. Hope Jimmy is doing OK. Will probably get three tomorrow. Have you had luck with swimming lessons? Well, one week is gone. Somehow it will pass and we both know that as each day passes our love grows stronger. Give my love to the boys. Pat Whiskers and remember I love you. Jim

18 July (7:10 am): Speaking of trips, I’ve decided my first trip [will be] next week. We have to audit all the funds of the 9th Infantry Division Dong Tam [in the Delta] so will take the whole crew down there the middle of next week. […] Gee another Friday. Must admit the last week went quickly but in another way it seems like I’ve been here all my life. Am happy to hear you and the kids are staying busy. Don’t worry about the boys as they’ll settle down and as long as you keep them busy things will go OK. Love You! Well, take care, it’s time for the workday to start. I’m really proud of my wife and family. Remember I told you, you could do it and now you’re proving it. Keep that chin up and remember, I love you. Jim.

Kathie’s Memories: After Jim left, the boys kept thinking he’d be coming home soon. At their ages, they didn’t understand how long a year is. They did okay but were kind of lost. That period was no vacation but a time of discovering a new way for us three to live without Jim.

19 July (7:00 am): Dearest Kathie. Gee it’s Saturday which means a week is about gone. When I stop and think of how long there’s left, I get that lost feeling so just force it from my mind and keep working. Love and miss you so much. Change One! Don’t worry about me going down to the 9th Infantry Division. I’m going to be tied up in a big audit of the Central F&AO [Central Finance and Accounting Office] and this will prevent my trip. […] Yesterday was a little slower than usual so started to drag towards the end. Got my first haircut and what an experience (had nothing cut off the top—Ha). Got my hair cut (40 cents) then asked for a shampoo (25 cents). Before the little SOB let me out of the chair, he’d run the bill to $1.25 for head rub, etc. etc. A lesson learned, just get your haircut period. Was sort of funny. […] Will definitely get a tape out this weekend. Feel bad about [it]. Just haven’t been in the room long enough to get started. Want to talk to the kids about how long I’ll be gone. Hope that will help them understand. Tell Mike I’m depending on him to be a great big help and love and miss both of them very much. Their pictures are on my desk at work so I’m watching them all the time. […] Love you so much. Keep going strong as I’m convinced that is going to be the only way this year will pass. Love you wife. Jim

20 July (8:00 am): Dearest Kathie, […] Don’t know what happened yet but it sure sounded like the war...