Within this chapter, I’ll suggest additional resources for you to explore on the Strength In Words website. You can find all of those resources organized by chapter here: https://www.strengthinwords.com/book-bonus

13 Weeks Old: Infant Massage

Infant Massage (Motor Development)

Body awareness is part of perceptual motor development, or the process of taking in, organizing and interpreting information that the body senses. [1]

Helping your baby start to understand where her body begins and ends through touch is a wonderful way to help her develop her perceptual motor skills.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

There are many benefits to infant massage (especially for pre-term infants): it inherently promotes interaction between you and your baby, [2] it can calm your baby, [3] and it can help to reduce stress levels (for both of you)!  [4]

• When your baby is relaxed and happy…
  • Remove her clothes and diaper and lay her on a flat, comfortable surface (a mat, blanket, or sheepskin)
• Look into her eyes and “ask” her if you can touch her
  • Give her the chance to look back at you, wiggle in delight, smile, or react with other signals that you are learning to read as “positive”
• Gently rub his legs, feet, arms and hands, stomach, neck, and forehead
  • Try different kinds of light and (very) moderate pressure to see what she prefers. Some infants (and toddlers!) are calmed by different types of touch (light vs. deep pressure)
• Create a calm and relaxing atmosphere
  • Look into your baby’s eyes, speak softly or sing a favorite song, try dimming the lights or using natural light only
  • You might tell her what part of her body you’re “working” on, or what is coming next
• You may choose to use an emollient, edible oil
  • (Edible – in case your baby ingests some from her skin)
  • There are oils marketed as “infant massage oil” (which are, indeed, lovely!) but sunflower oil, for instance, can work just as well!
  • You might test the oil on her skin first by applying a small dollup on a patch of her skin
• You can continue for as long as you and your baby are enjoying the activity!
  • If your baby does not respond positively, simply try again another time

14 Weeks Old: Respect For Baby

Respect For Baby (Social/Emotional Development)

Infants learn to form expectations about how they’ll be treated starting from very early in life. They learn how adults respond to their crying, smiling, and early sounds (cooing), and whether these communication attempts are valued by family members and other caregivers. [5]

When we as caregivers demonstrate to a baby that he is valued, we are showing him respect, in a sense. We respect and care about his needs and teach him to develop a sense of trust and security.

The first few months of life are often referred to as the “fourth trimester,” as young infants are still very much dependent on the caregiver to fulfill physical needs. Some research suggests that in those early months especially, sensory experiences that mimic a “womb-like” environment (swaddling, “shushing,” rocking, etc.) can help to calm very young infants. [6] Now that your baby is out of that period, however, your baby is starting to change: he is becoming more aware of and more curious about the outside world. [7]

He is picking up more information everyday, and the more positive input you can give him, the more positive is his understanding of the world.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Perhaps most importantly, try to be aware of your own emotional responses in the presence of your baby. Your baby learns what respectful, appropriate expressions are through you as caregiver – your facial expressions, the tone of your voice, etc.

• Try to be aware of (and when possible, avoid!) making negative observations about your baby, or about others in your presence, in front of him
  • Even if you feel he is “too young” to understand!
• Label your baby’s emotions, or ask what he might be feeling when he has a strong reaction to something
  • Hushing and shushing his cries were very effective in the early days, but now you might find that validating his emotions, giving words to his feelings, and speaking directly to him may do more to reassure him that his feelings are valued
• Give your baby time to respond to you when you ask him a question or make a comment, to model good turn-taking skills
  • In this way, you model that you’ll be patient and wait for his response before moving on to another question
• Talk to your baby about what is coming next in the day, what you’ll be doing, and who you’ll see.
  • Make her part of the process of the day

15 Weeks Old: Turn-Taking

Turn-Taking (Communicative Development)

Babies start to become more interactive during this period, and typically start to use their voices to coo (using vowels such as “oo” and “ah”) around the age of 3-4 months.

Your baby may smile and coo at you to express pleasure, request your attention, or to respond to something you said or did. [8]

WHAT YOU CAN DO

When she communicates – with her voice, her facial expression, and/or her body, speak back to her.

• You can imitate her sounds or movements, as well as speak about what she’s doing
  • Pause and wait for her to initiate again (she may do it sooner or may do it after several seconds)
  • In this way, you are engaging in a back-and-forth “conversation,” taking turns as if you were talking with anyone else!
• Sing a song or nursery rhyme, and when you finish, pause to watch what she does
  • If you perceive that she wants you to continue the activity (i.e., she smiles, giggles, wiggles her extremities, looks directly into your eyes, coos to you, etc.)
  • You might say, “let’s do it again!” In this way, you are modeling to her that you value her response, and can read what she communicates to you!

16 Weeks Old: Exploring Properties

Exploring Properties (Cognitive Development)

Around the age of four months, babies typically develop “binocular vision,” allowing their eyes to work together and see farther than the previous 12-14 inches away (just far enough to look into a parent or caregiver’s eyes from where he’s sitting in your arms). [9]

This visual development, along with the development of more fine motor control with his fingers, allows your baby to delve into the world of reaching and grasping. As your baby’s fine motor skills increase during this period (3-6 months and beyond), he will start to hold and transfer objects between his hands, and “play” with objects more purposefully.  [10]

WHAT YOU CAN DO

You might organize a few (safe!) objects for your baby according to their “property” – find a few objects in your home that are “alike” in some way, and place them in a low bowl (a mixing bowl, a wooden basket) or on the floor next to him. This can be done during tummy time, or simply when lying on the floor on his back or side.

• You might organize the objects by:
  • Color, shape, texture, etc.
  • You might locate a variety of square(ish)-shaped objects (i.e., a book, a puzzle piece, a soap dish, and a small box)
• Your baby may pick one out and inspect it
  • Watch how your baby engages with the object and talk about what he is doing
• You might take out an object and model to your baby different ways to play with it (i.e., open and close a box, shake it to see if anything is inside, etc.)
  • All the while, narrate what you’re doing
  • Even if your baby does not readily imitate your play with the item, he will be “taking it in” and storing that information for later
• Great Resource:
  • Check out a great example of how this can be done with our post, “DIY Sensory & Vocabulary Bowl” from the Strength In Words Blog

17 Weeks Old: Reach and Hold

Reach and Hold (Motor Development)

Typically, from 3-4 months of age, babies begin to reach out for things around them and soon attempt to hold onto these...