Wrestlecrap Book Of Lists (eBook)

Pro wrestling is dumb. An odd way, you are no doubt thinking, for us to begin. It's like we're spitting in the face of our target audience. After all, you probably didn't pick up something called The WrestleCrap Book of Lists! believing you were going to learn how to fix your golf slice or program in C++. No, you have this book in your hands because you, dear reader, are a fan of professional wrestling. With such an opening, then, you may be led to believe the folks who penned this tome are not even true professional wrestling fans. Maybe we're just a couple of schmucks who want to drag wrestling through the mud and make both it and its fans look bad. Actually, nothing could be further from the truth. We love wrestling and are, in fact, huge fans of the business. Actually, we'd go one step furtherthan that - we have been obsessed with the business for virtually our entire lives. We would not want to see the sum of the money we have spent on our hobby: for tickets to live events, videotapes, DVDs, video games, action figures, magazines, books and inflatable chairs. Yes, inflatable chairs, which were purchased, mind you, because they were splashed with a WWE logo. It takes a special kind of person to reach into one's wallet and spend $19.99 on an inflatable chair. And, unquestionably, some would say we are special - special in a way that might suggest we probably should have ridden the short bus to school. And maybe we should have . . . but we don't care. We are hopelessly obsessed with professional wrestling. Not only have we spent all that money over the years, but we've spent something far more valuable on our obsession: time. Each of us has only so many days on this earth, so many hours in which to soak up all the wonders of the world. We, the authors of this book, choose to live it camped in front of a television set, screaming at grown men dressed as kings and midgets with shillelaghs, and having pretend fights. And why? Because it's so much fun. Seriously . . . has there ever been another form of entertainment quite like professional wrestling? It really is the best of all conceivable means of entertainment. Consider every form of amusement life has to offer. What other medium mixes and melds so many different elements in a single package? Wrestling gives you everything: action, comedy, suspense and heartbreak. And it's all held together by an athletic performance that can be categorized, at its peak, as an art form. And while pundits may scoff at hardcore fans rating matches with a star system as if they were movie critics, it makes perfect sense. Because wrestling is entertainment - it should be critiqued as such. That's why some people are so fanatical they become geeks: the kind of person who spends the better part of his or her life debating whether Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat was actually a better match than Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels. And of course it was . . . while the atmosphere of Ramon-Michaels was off the charts, this was largely because it took place at WrestleMania. It isn't even open to debate that the sheer technical acumen on display in the Flair-Steamboat encounter was far superior.