Talk to Me (eBook)

Foreword

“What’s it like to be married to the Medium?”

Those are often the first words I hear when I am introduced to someone new. I hear it enough that I figure the chances are good that you have the same question, too. Before I get to the answer, let me tell you a little about this book, because the two topics are entwined. To read this book is to get to know Allison better, for she shares her personality in her own words, her own thoughts, her experiences with the living and yes, the dead, too.

In this book, Allison recalls some of the many people she has met during the course of her seminar tours and personal readings. Each time Allison conducts a reading she accepts some of the living person’s grief. In order to do this, she must connect with the deceased and die a little herself. Allison takes these experiences and connects them with a greater theme that everyone can relate to. Some are inspirational; others help with personal growth or self-awareness. Allison has such a unique perspective because she is a medium. Not only does she assume the perspective of the person who has died, she also has the perspective of the healer who has seen many ways to move through grief and see a bigger picture. By sharing these stories, Allison tries to process out what she has experienced. She must do this in order to let the energy go; otherwise, it continues to take a toll on her, as each reading has permanently changed her.

Allison provides her perspective to each reading, yet there is another version, too. There is also the story of the living people left behind to pick up the pieces. Allison has invited some of the people whom she has read to include their experiences in their own words. She also shares the words of the deceased who has passed on. The family of the deceased has spent a lifetime with each other, so they are able to apply the specific message to the full story of the decedent’s life and validate Allison’s information.

I feel that I can provide yet another facet by answering the question, “What’s it like being married to the Medium?”

As Allison’s husband, I have a unique viewpoint. I am her closest confidant. I am there for it all. I see her like no one else does. I see the depth of many readings and the common arc of the story that they tell. I see how Allison is affected and grows and changes after each reading. I see how she needs to be brought back to the land of the living and process out all of the grief she has absorbed. It’s quite a process she goes through—very emotionally taxing.

The first time that I heard this question was in 2005, just before Medium was to premiere. Allison was scheduled to attend a press junket in Los Angeles to support the new show. Our life had changed quite a bit in a short time, so there was a real chance that we would get overwhelmed. Up until that point, our life fit snugly in the suburbs. I went to work from 9-5, and Allison interned at the District Attorney’s office. Our three school-aged kids were involved in cheerleading, volleyball, etc. We had barbecues on the weekend with our friends.

Oh, yeah, there was that other thing—the way my wife had this uncanny ability to pick winning juries and detect motives and know who has committed a violent crime and when a suspect will turn over to open up a case. Like in the Natalie Holloway case when Allison went on CNN and said that she “sensed” that Joran Van der Sloot, a suspect in the disappearance of Holloway, would start bragging and sharing details of the crime in two years. That’s exactly what happened. It unleashed a media storm of strange press interviews with Van der Sloot where he continued to provide details around a “murder,” and then ended up retracting what he had stated. Van der Sloot had also told an acquaintance of his a version of what happened that fateful night in Aruba, who then went to the authorities with the details.

There were also many instances amongst even the little DuBois females in our family, like the way my daughter would talk to my deceased father or scare her friends by telling them about the little girl ghost hanging around their house. But for the most part, we maintained a typical suburban lifestyle.

Then, seemingly all of the sudden, we were flying to Los Angeles for publicity. It was so surreal.

To deal with the added stress, we came together as a couple. She had a job to do to promote the show. She was thrust into the spotlight for all to see, with her abilities sometimes drawing unfounded controversy. I would like to go on about some of the less reputable press and their true lack of intelligence and impartiality, but that would just be for my own gratification. My point is merely that there was a lot of stress put on Allison. Of course, I took her side and traveled to Los Angeles to provide her with both physical and emotional support. I have since found that this type of support is a recurring theme. Being a public figure isn’t as easy as some think.

Since the show was Allison’s project, and I was there in more of a support role, I was hoping not to be asked any questions by the press. The show, of course, is named “Medium,” not “Guy Married to a Medium.” I knew that was wishful thinking, so I tried to think of questions that I might be asked. If I had the answers all ready, I could hopefully prevent my natural instinct to ramble. I had thought the first question would be, “How is the show different from your real life?”

When we showed up to the hotel where the event was being held, there were celebrities everywhere. We were introduced to a journalist, and after he finished his interview with Allison he turned to me.

I thought, “I’m not nervous. I’m ready.”

Here it came, the first question: “What’s it like to be married to the Medium?”

I guess the two questions are similar, except that the question I had thought of was less personal, more objective, more aloof and calculated. The question he asked was more emotional, more all-inclusive, open-ended, and definitely more subjective. What were they looking for in this question?

I stumbled, cleared my throat and said, “Wow.” I was trying to take a little time to think. I ended up saying, “We were very young when we got married, I really don’t know any other way.”

At least I didn’t ramble. I also didn’t really answer the question. It was more of a shuck and jive.

The thing is, I certainly have stories to tell about our daily life that make our life different. That reporter does, too. When he got back to the office and played the tape recording of the interview, everyone’s voice was clear, but Allison’s sounded like it was being played backward. That’s kind of funny the first time it happens, but after the 4th cell phone, or the unknown number of camera batteries sucked lifeless, it starts to become expected.

Some things are easy to describe and to know that they are not the norm. For instance, when Allison would catch our daughters in little white lies regarding getting into the cookies, or when Allison was waiting for our daughter outside her bedroom window as she tried to sneak out. Fairly simple things like how Allison, or for that matter all my girls, can “know” what their birthday gifts are going to be when it was supposed to be a surprise.

Some things are harder to capture, like how she can sum up a person relatively quickly. So quickly that it seems like the person just left a bad first impression on her. In the beginning, Allison might share with her girlfriend that her new boyfriend is creepy or seemed “off” somehow. Of course Allison’s girlfriend would be newly “in love,” and not want to hear this, so she’d get quite offended. In return, Allison would know what she knows and feel like the friend did not respect her advice, and shouldn’t have asked her at all. The friendship would end and a few months later Allison would get a call, “You were right, I’m sorry.”

The first time that happened it was hard to mend the relationship. For that matter, it is still hard to mend some relationships. When someone asks her for her help and then doesn’t like the answer, what do you do with that?

Some things take time to get used to. Like driving. I usually do the driving, which has become an art of the avoidance. Since Allison does sum up people rather quickly, she is affected by all of the other drivers around us. There may be one she does not want to be near, and since her personality is that of a race car driver, she always wants to be in front rather than let the annoyance pass by.

Allison has a very compassionate heart for those truly in need and an absolute abhorrence for those working the system. I have seen her go out of her way to feed the homeless. I am not talking about the money we donate to charity, or even the time she spends volunteering at charity events, but actually buying a hamburger in a drive-thru to personally give to someone in need. She has given the jacket off her back to clothe the needy. At the same time, she has no time for people who are merely working the system. I think she learned this from her Grandpa Joe. He was the same way. She believes “you never take more than you give.”

Some things are unexplainable. I have to keep a lot of spare light bulbs on hand because they always mysteriously break in my house. I have found that during fits of anxiety, teenage girls have the greatest power of breaking light bulbs without touching them. They...