Autobiography of Willie D. Killins Sr. (eBook)

Chapter One

Willie D. Killins

The guidance she gave me helped me throughout life in working with people. She believed there was some good in every person. You must work with the person to bring out the good.

Born: November 30, 1943, in Winston County, Noxapater, Mississippi

I was born at home with Mrs. Sindy Wilkes as the midwife. I am the fourth child of William Mars and Ruth Killins. I have three sisters older than me. I was the first male child in the Ruth Killins family. I lived with my father and mother on an 80-acre farm. I have seven sisters and two brothers. I began school at the age of six at Hathorn Elementary School.

My father left home when I was eight years old. My baby sister was not born until two months after my father had gone from home.

Willie David Killins Sr. at approximately 8 years of age

• Being the oldest son, I had to take on the responsibilities of:
• Getting wood to heat the home.
• Mending the farm fences.
• Taking care of the animals.
• Working the land.
• Protecting the home.
• Trying to go to school when possible.
• Going to church on Sundays.

“The Father We Knew”

Florence Barnett

Williams Morris (Mars) Killins, our father, was born in the State of Mississippi. My mother was also born in Mississippi. When the two of them met, father was living and working with his father. They lived on a plantation owned by a white man.

My mother was a schoolteacher. She lived with a relative near a small country school. My father lived nearby.

My mother was standing looking out of the window of a building where a gathering was taking place when she saw this man walking nearby. She asked a lady nearby, “Who is that man? I like his walk.” Not knowing who the lady was, the woman answered, “Honey, I can introduce you, I am married to his father.”

Later they would be married and live for a short time on the same plantation. They grew whatever crops they had, whether cotton, corn, or vegetables. They had to give a share to the plantation owner. My mother didn’t agree to this and did not get along with the owner. So she moved back to live with her parents in Noxapater, Mississippi., where she had grown up. My mother’s parents owned acres of land on which they planted many kinds of crops.

Living with her parents created a crowded household, because my mother had a sister and two brothers also living with their parents. One brother and sister had children. My mother and father also had two children born in the same family house. It was obvious that my parents needed to find a home of their own.

An old house with about 120 acres of land was up for sale. It belonged to a white man. It was not far from my grandparents and in an all-black community. My parents could not afford it. Mom did not need so much land. It was decided that my mother’s two brothers would divide the land three ways, with my parents talking the old house. Now there was a problem. Where would the money come from to pay for the land? My Grandfather agreed to be held responsible for the debt until it was paid off.

My parents moved in and three days later a third child was born. Now they were parents of three daughters. Times were hard, little money was coming in from my mother’s teaching. They were happy with my father helping to babysit and with household chores. He would help with the cooking and washing of heavy handmade quilts which had to be hung on a wire fence to dry. There were no washing machines in the entire community. There were no factory jobs, so my father would from time to time cut trees and make them into what were called “cross-ties,” to be sold for a small amount of money.

Ruth and Mars Killins

They didn’t have money to buy needed farm tools to work the crops to bring in good yields. However, they were happy during the early years, so their family continued to grow.

Things began to change between them when erroneous people began to get inside my father’s head. Some men and women in our community would tell my father that “a man doesn’t wash, that’s a woman’s job.” And “What was my mother doing while she was away from home teaching?” My father began to listen to these people making false statements about my mother. He began to leave my three sisters, whom he was looking after while my mother took the baby (me) with her for the week to live with her sister (who would babysit me) while she taught school. He (my father) would lock my three sisters inside the house while we went out drinking and chasing young women. He would come in about daybreak with what was left in his jug and share it with whoever brought him home.

This behavior had negative effects on the marriage, which began to fall apart. My father became abusive to my mother and some of the children. He would hit, kick, and curse my mother. We never knew what would set him off in a violent state of mind. Many times, my oldest sister would take the brunt of punishment, which consisted of a switch made from flexible shoots (at least three) cut from mostly fruit trees and braided together. When you were hit, usually on your legs, the switch would wrap around your bare skin. It felt like a knife cutting into your skin. More likely blood would come from your legs.

My father left home and went to Alabama, where he had sisters and brothers. He stayed for a short time and returned. My mother was no longer teaching school. Their relationship was very tense. Unhappiness surrounded the family. My father was always angry about something. He worked a crop that year when the crops were harvested, but he didn’t pay the outstanding bills. He sold the cotton, took the money, and went to Alabama.

Some of the cotton was still in the fields. My oldest sister and an elder cousin were left to pick what was left. My grandfather paid off the debt, which my mother later found a way to pay him back. My mother was also pregnant with twins. He later came back home, another crop was planted, and harvested, and the cotton was sold. My parents had some money in the bank; my father sold the bale of cotton, took the money out of the bank, and left home. He didn’t return. My mother was almost nine months pregnant.

That was a rough winter. There were ten children, and we all came down with measles. My Uncle Lincoln Shields did all the chores for us. The health nurse came with shots. She contacted the Welfare Department, which sent out used clothes from time to time. The State began to give out boxes of food to everyone. It was called a Commodity with a large box of cheese, pork ‘n beans, powdered milk, and so on. Some of us began to develop a dislike for cheese pork n’ beans. My three sisters entered high school. Clothes to change into each day were impossible, but because most students were poor it wasn’t noticeable that anyone wore the same clothes for several days.

I worked with my mother, three older sisters, and younger siblings to keep the family going. My oldest sister would be with me for whatever I was doing; she was there to help me with the task.

My mother was the cornerstone of the family. She led us by example; she would take care of the smaller siblings, take care of the house, work in the fields, cook the meals, work as a teacher, and give us all the positive reinforcement we needed to do the job. She instilled in us that we could learn and be whatever we wanted if we put in the effort necessary to accomplish the goal. She was a no-nonsense mother who would not take “no” for an answer.

My mother would counsel me every morning when cooking breakfast. She knew I had a temper that could get out of control; therefore, she gave me counseling to keep me out of trouble. She would always tell me that “Can’t isn’t a word to put in your vocabulary.” You can be anything that you put your mind to and work. The guidance she gave me helped me throughout life in working with people. She believed there was some good in every person. You must work with the person to bring out the good.

As you can see, Ruth Killins had a strong philosophy in raising her family. Her philosophy makes me think about Rev. Jesse Jackson's famous saying. “If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.” Many educators believe that if you come from a one-parent family, your chances of success are not great; according to Ruth Killins’ philosophy, this has nothing to do with what you will be in life. Ruth Killins used George Washington's eight rules to live by as part of her philosophy to raise her ten children. They were the following: l. Be clean inside and out. 2. Neither look up to the rich, nor down to the poor. 3. Lose, if need be, without squealing. 4. Win without bragging. 5. Always be considerate of women, children, and older people. 6. Be too brave to lie. 7. Be too generous to cheat. 8. Take your share of the world and let others take theirs.

I was her first male child. She said I weighed eight pounds at birth and was very healthy. She said I had very curly hair and everyone wanted to put their hands on my head. She told me my father didn’t like them putting their hands on my head. As I stated above, my father, William Mars Killins, left us when I was eight years old. I...