My Journey to the Light (eBook)

Dave Collins (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2024 | 1. Auflage
200 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
979-8-3509-4503-4 (ISBN)

There comes a point in life where it is important to know where we have come from and understand choices that directed the journey to our present location in life. Life's journey involves both the physical steps and the emotional and mental growth that impact those steps taken. This understanding helps us know who we are and what moved us to stand at our present place in life. We can evaluate where we stand at present and consider with wisdom our next steps in life. My Journey to the Light is the story of the steps Dave Collins has taken. It recounts his mental, emotional, and spiritual growth that led him to write a personal mission statement that helps direct his life now. Its goal is to provide an example and encouragement for the reader to do some soul searching and personal evaluation in their life journey.

My Journey to the Light is the story of Dave Collins' journey through life from childhood to old age. The story includes childhood and family experiences. Follow the impact of his education. See him start and grow a relationship with God and develop a life mission. See the beginning and growth of his family. Follow how all these things move Dave toward maturity and completeness in order to be a light for others. Life is filled with dark hard times and bright times filled with good. You will see both described in this journey. All experiences are important and teach us. I describe my experiences and how God used those experiences to impact and develop my life. We all begin life with immature minds. As we grow, we develop a more complete understanding of life. We develop perspectives which direct our choices impacting ourselves and those around us. I describe how my experiences impacted my thinking. Most people ask questions about themselves at some time. I asked myself questions like these. Why am I here? What am I good at? What is my purpose? Does my life count? Does my life matter? Am I lovable? Another leading influence and gift in life is relationships. You will see some of the leading relationships in my life and how they have made a difference. All these things together tell a story of God at work in the life of one of his children made in his image with purpose and value. My goal in writing has been to tell a part of God's story as seen through my life. At the end of each chapter, you will see questions that point you to consider your own life with the goal of helping you know more fully your own beauty and value.

Chapter 2

My Beginnings 1950-1968

In 1950, I was born the second of five siblings to Walter and Judy Collins. God describes all human life when he says …

“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

Psalms 139:13–16

My parents provided the genes that God used to form my body and mind according to his design for humans. Along with the physical body, God gave me a soul and spirit. These all worked together to produce the person people know as Dave Collins.

The development of Dave Collins progressed just like the lives of all humans. Since the fall of Adam and Eve, humans, including me, are born and grow the same way. I was born and lived not knowing God or going to him for direction. I was the center of everything and was guided by what I wanted and what I believed I could get.

Beginning as infants, our minds take in data and process life experiences to form an incomplete understanding of what we think is true about life, and about our lives specifically. We develop a personality, a pattern of thinking, a life perspective, and a lifestyle that defines who we are. We make choices based on what we want and what we believe will make us happy and make our days go well.

We live life in accordance with our particular family upbringing and process our experiences through our immature thinking. I lived a normal life with ups and downs, developing physically and emotionally. There was, however, always a sense of something missing. I wanted more. I did not understand why I felt that way or what I wanted. I, like everyone who lives apart from God, lived under the assumption that I was in control. I was doomed to fail, because God is the one who makes life and has a design to give humans meaning and joy. God created all humans, including me, in his image and likeness. We need to walk through life with him, experiencing a relationship with him. That relationship brings joy to both the person and God. I didn’t fully understand what I was feeling or what I was missing. I just kept going, always looking for more based on my feelings and desires. I was missing what was needed to live the life I was designed by God to live. I was losing at life.

I was doomed to fail at life by living apart from God and not by his design. I would never live it to the fullest. We must become a child of God, have the Spirit of God living in us, and allow the Spirit to participate with us in life. His Spirit gives the understanding and wisdom needed to make good choices in life, to truly understand life, and to know how we are meant to live.

God loves us and pursues us to get our attention. He helps us realize that something is missing and helps us understand that we cannot acquire that missing element without him. We must come to the place where we know and understand our need to surrender our lives to him. That surrender opens the door for God to give us the gift of a new life. We are born spiritually as a child of God and receive his Spirit, who directs us individually to be the person he designed us to be. As a child of God, we step into God’s glorious light and live life to the fullest.

We become God’s children, reflecting him through our life. Children of God are on a journey beginning on earth and continuing for eternity. What follows is the story of the beginning of my physical life, my birth as a child of God, and my development physically and spiritually. You will see the truths I have learned on this journey.

Things I Learned Before Starting School

My life is a prime example of the process we go through to become a responsible adult. I was born into a good family, with parents who loved their kids. They took care to instruct us and help us grow up with the ability to live well and make choices. They disciplined us and taught us to respect those in authority. We knew about honesty and integrity. We understood responsibility and the value of work. Our words were expected to be honest, and we were taught to fulfill our promises.

My earliest memory goes back to very early childhood. It was Christmas time, and I was recovering from pneumonia. The whole family, along with some extended family members, were in the living room of our home. Everyone was sitting around opening presents, laughing, and enjoying this special day. I was in a large stuffed chair with quilts all around me to keep me warm, and I remember people asking me how I felt and trying to make me feel good. There was a clear sense of love expressed and felt. My mother brought me a present. I could not get the wrapping paper off, so she opened it for me. Inside the box was a yellow Mattel firetruck. I loved it and felt incredibly loved. That feeling is still one of my soul’s greatest desires, and that feeling can be a leading factor in the decisions I make.

But no parents are perfect. My dad had a flaw we called “the look.” We got “the look” if we did something he had told us not to do. We knew the minute we got the look that we had to stop what we were doing immediately. If any of his children did something that was particularly offensive to him, he gave that child the look. His eyes narrowed and focused on the culprit with furrowed eyebrows, and his lips came together as well. There was no question when you got the look. No excuses could be made. We had to stop what we were doing, be silent, and wait.

The problem with the look was what it said to us without words. I recently called each of my siblings and asked them what they felt when they got the look. Everyone said they knew they were in deep trouble and needed to stop whatever they were doing immediately. One said, “I wondered if I would ever be able to do things right.” We all felt unlovable and of questionable value. Another said, “The look made me feel like Dad did not like me and did not want me around.” One said they only felt loved when they did good and had to live perfectly to not feel rejected. Another said, “I felt inferior or worthless; I felt that he was ashamed of me.”

These are cases of a child’s mind processing a difficult situation without the tools needed to make sound judgements. My mind told me I was a loser and could not live up to being a good person. We each incorporated those beliefs into our lives. We lived with those beliefs and their consequences into our adulthood.

Each of us have had to struggle with a sense of value and still occasionally recognize the lie we had come to believe surfacing in hard situations. Each of us also used the ploy of being nice and never causing trouble. We did what we could to never give reasons to question our value. We have all had to grow up learning to understand that it is better to be real and honest than to play games to fool people. Hiding behind a false self in relationships weakens those relationships.

My earliest memory of “the look” may have happened before I was in school. I was young. Dad had an old electric train saved in a box from when he was young. It was stored in a closet in the garage, and we never used it. Dad may have set it up under the Christmas tree a couple of times, but it was just for show. It did not run.

One day, I saw the box and decided I would fix the train and get it to work. I pulled it down and took out the engine. Pulling out a hammer and a screwdriver, I sat down on the garage floor with the engine between my legs. I set to work and proceeded to take it apart, eventually turning to the hammer to dislodge the pieces. Screws and various pieces of the old engine were strewn between my legs when Dad came home. He saw me, saw the mess, and knew what I had done. He just stared at me with the look. Then I heard him mutter “idiot” before turning and going into the house. That word, teamed with the look, is just as vivid today as it was the day I experienced it. I felt like an idiot, a loser.

Things I Learned In Elementary School

My mother played a significant role in my development when I was in elementary school. I was a typical little boy in many ways and spent time playing with my siblings. I often pestered them and was a nuisance. Sometimes I would act like a soldier and chase them all into the bathroom, where they would lock themselves in to escape me. I stood guard for a short time, but as an impatient little boy, I would lose interest and leave them there.

They usually told Mom what I had done when she got home. She would punish me, but her punishment was unique. Wanting to teach me how to be alone and not bother my siblings, she gave me a paint-by-number kit and send me into the backyard with the painting kit. I was told to paint until she called me in. I did not feel punished at all. What she really did was begin my fascination with art and start me on the path of learning how to use color and create pictures. Art has become a major facet of my life, and these experiences were the starting point. A unique and central part of the experience was that she sent me to a picknick table in the backyard, in the shade of trees. It brought me peace and joy being in that place creating pictures. Those feelings still come out when I am doing art or I am out in nature.

I met my first friend when I was in elementary school. Randy was...

Erscheint lt. Verlag	14.2.2024
Sprache	englisch
Themenwelt	Literatur ► Biografien / Erfahrungsberichte
ISBN-13	979-8-3509-4503-4 / 9798350945034

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