PRESSED (eBook)

Chapter 1

Baby Daddy Number 3

“Bitch! Open this mother fucking door. Now!” Crouched down in a corner as far away from the door as possible, there I sat feeling like my heart was gonna beat right out of my chest. I couldn’t move and even if I could move.. I wouldn’t dare do it. This man is fucking crazy and “This” wasn’t the first time.. Not even the first time this week that I was getting punched on. I couldn’t take this shit anymore. As I begged him to calm down. Marcus? Baby Please! Please stop. I whispered softly. Whatever happened.. or whatever You think I did I’m sorry. I’ll cook you a different meal.. or I’ll clean whatever mess but please. Please not in front of my kids. “The fuck you mean “Not in front of YOUR kids”? Bitch! They My Damn kids!

When I met Your ass You was walking, getting off the bus, with little snotty noses and nappy headed boys. Looking dirty! I made you what you are today. Me, I did all this! You went from living in Your Momma two bedroom crack house with you and your kids all in one room to this big ass six bedroom two and a half bathroom mini Mansion. You ungrateful thot. You pushing a G-wagon, you ain’t gotta lift a fucking finger, I’m taking care of all these kids, bills everything and now.. Now You out here sneaking off fucking other niggas? Probably one of My niggas right? You fucking one of my friends, Right? Don’t fucking lie to me Ho! With each word he lands a powerful kick at the bathroom door. Five weeks postpartum, stitches from my C-section hasn’t even healed yet and this nigga is back to beating my ass. Thank God this door is made of Australian Buloke wood or this door would’ve been buckled and he would’ve been in here. Marcus please baby. I’m not cheating on you.. I would never do you like that. I just took the kids to the park. That’s it. I would never do you like that. You’re my King, you saved me and my boys lives. I think the world of you! Please, just calm down I don’t wanna wake Siani up. She has a fever and need her rest. And just like that silence, all the kicking stopped.

He is a monster! Well he can be when he’s off of his meds, but that little chocolate girl in that crib turn him into a soft piece of clay. His first child, a little girl with a headful of hair, dimples, with the biggest brightest brown eyes. That’s his weakness. Even when I was pregnant all the hitting, choking and screaming stopped once we found out it was a girl. Something clicked inside of his head, I went from getting black eyes and busted lips to getting flowers, foot and belly rubs. The sex was even different, we made love almost every night. It was just like it was before he started getting sick again. See it’s two different people living inside of “Him.” There’s Marcus and then there’s Mars. When he’s not well I meet Mars and that is no man, it’s some kind of demonic creature from outer space! His mother tried to warn me years ago about the two but I didn’t believe her. Just thought that she was bitter because her only baby fell in love with a nineteen year old CNA with three kids and two different baby daddies. Yes, I was “Fast” but I had to be, I didn’t have no dad and my mom was on Wet. Either outside “stuck” on I and Tioga or getting drunk and naked at Coopers Bar. I didn’t get a chance to have a childhood, I had to feed, clothe and put myself through school. With the help of Miss Macki, the only other black lady on my block.. really in my neighborhood. I was able to make some money. I was thirteen sucking random men dicks for forty dollars.

Miss Macki would set it all up through Back page and I’d come over and suck the men dicks. It wasn’t really sex so nobody would get in trouble because nothing went into my pussy. That’s what she use to tell me all the time. I know better now. But anyways, they would pay her two hundred and she would give me forty dollars off of the top, plus she’d cook me breakfast, lunch and dinner. I would work from ten in the morning until six at night. Only on the weekends and I was okay with that because I knew her daughter wouldn’t be there. She went away to be with her dad on the weekends. It was our secret. I’d make almost three-hundred dollars a day. Yes, my mouth was sore but when I was done I could buy a bar of soap and some toothpaste. My only problem was some of the men stunk, some of the dicks I sucked tasted salty and still had skin covering the head of it, like a turtle.

I had to do what I had to do to eat during the week and buy school clothes, shoes and to survive. I’m from a hood where all the other girls was Puerto Rican with hair down to their butts so all the boys wanted to make them their

“Wifeys.” I was just some “Negro Feo” girl from the house that lights always got cut off. Ain’t nobody want me for real and that was made very clear when I got my first job at the Payless clothing store. I remember it like it was yesterday. I just turned sixteen and it was my third day when a man walked in with a little girl that had to be about seven or eight. She just started doing ballet and needed some dancing slippers and leggings. I knew he was too old for me.. or should I say he knew that I was too young for him, but it didn’t matter once I walked from around that counter to help his daughter; it was over.

“Damn, you have some pretty skin.” Thank.. You. I said awkwardly and dry. It was closing time, my high weave ponytail was hanging on by twelve bobby pins one that was stabbing me in the middle of my head. I was only getting paid a training check this week and I got a call over an hour ago about my mom sitting on one of the big dice naked at the park on fifth and Allegheny. My manager didn’t like me at all. She was always trying to play me but ever since Miss Macki went to jail for welfare fraud it was back to square one. I had some money saved in an old shoe box that was under my bed but that’s for my Graduation and I wasn’t touching that. “No girl I’m serious. You look beautiful, what’s your name?” I picked my head up slightly and told him that I’m only sixteen. “Ha ha. Did I ask you how old you are?” No, but I’m telling you because you look twenty-five and I don’t wanna get you in trouble. “Actually, I’m twenty-seven. My name is Carlos.” Bianca, I said smiling with my hand out. Shaking it he said “ Nice to meet you.” After helping him with all his daughter needs we walked back to the register where my manager Julisa was standing. “I’ll ring him up.. go over there and fix the jewelry or something she said while pointing to the far end of the store. Rolling my eyes I walked away, I’m all for a fight but I needed this job so I just chilled and walked over there and did my job. After he paid for his stuff and grabbed his bags he asked Julisa for a pen, she was so hype about giving it to him and trying to make small talk.

She was telling him how pretty his daughter was and how he’s so tall. He was ignoring her as he pulled a hundred dollar bill out of a wide of cash and wrote his number down, she held her hand out thinking he was gonna give it to her but all he gave her was the pen back. Walked over to me and slid it in my back pocket, I was so shocked. With a wink he walked out the store, and it was love after that. Phone calls, flowers, money and sex. It was always at the same time everyday. We would talk for over an hour, every time I’d asked why he would tell me because he had to work a lot so I could only call him around ten o’clock, after he gets off work and take care of his daughter. We went to hotels and he would always get me some Chinese food or some KFC.

He took my virginity, after that nothing. The flowers stopped so did the phone calls. I couldn’t even call him. My number was blocked. a week later my period didn’t come on. Pregnant at sixteen. I couldn’t go through with that but I had four thousand dollars saved in my room so I called Planned Parenthood to set up my appointment. Realizing that I didn’t see my mom in a few days I went looking for her but she wasn’t nowhere to be found. She was gone, the house was empty and a mess. My mom clothes was all gone, where the fuck did she go? She just got back. Ever since she started fucking with that nigga that sold her the drugs she’s been dipping out for days and weeks but she usually leave her clothes. Cool, whatever I don’t care she wasn’t really around anyways, now I don’t have to whisper when I talk to these people.

Ewe! I screamed stepping into my momma room. It was used needles, throw up and old condom filled with nut all over the floor. I hated that nigga, I hated that he turned her into a real dope feen, I hated that she was fucking him, I hated that she chose everything over me every time! Soon as I turn eighteen I’m outta here! I screamed. I can’t wait; I said walking out of that room, I can’t believe this is how my Grandmom house looked. Ten years ago before the Cancer took her this house was beautiful, clean and always smelling like some good food. My Grandmom didn’t play about me. She always had my back, I stayed up under her. Five-ten, thin with the lightest smoothest skin I’ve ever seen in my life. She was so pretty, and nice with the softest voice. My Grandma was a dancer back in the day. She looked like a black Barbie doll and every time we ran errands she would always buy one for me. I stayed in her room watching Judge Judy or Divorce court while sipping ice tea. My mom had me at thirteen and my dad was never in my life so my Grandmom took care of me like I was her baby. It really hit me hard when she passed. That house she owned it but put it in my name after she got sick. She use to tell me all the...