College Girl (eBook)

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

Hill Side College, Friday afternoon. Classes have ended and a host of girls are in dispersed ranks around the dormitory arguing seriously. Some are busy tidying their dresses while some are lying carelessly in their beds after lunch. At the far left end of the corner of the dormitory, towards the East wing of the school, Mariah, Namondo and a host of other girls are in their respective private chores.

Mariah: (In solitary conversation as usual) My palm has been itching throughout this morning. Someone is to give me money. Who can this be? It will be coming just at the right time. Why can it not be today? Who should this be and how do I get it? Oh God help me. Please God, answer this only prayer of mine. I need this money more than a baby needs milk. If I don’t get it, I will die. I must have this money. I cannot afford to go there this weekend like this.

(Namondo has been observing Mariah talk to herself and decides this time to interrupt).

Namondo: Why are you talking to yourself? What is it again this time that you are talking alone to yourself like a mad woman? Can’t you share it with me? Am I not your sister?

Mariah: Mind your business. I have always told you to min your business. How does my talking alone concern you? Did our parents send us to this school together? My parents would have told me I have another sister I had not met. Maybe I need to ask them again. I beg put me for free, you hear? Radio without battery. What is the relationship between a bicycle and a petrol station? (She takes a thorough look at herself and makes a complete rotation of 360 degrees while she measures a short gown pinned between her chest and her chin).

Namondo: Sorry oh miss. I beg I am sorry mother hen. But I didn’t see the chicks you are protecting here, Miss Universe. I was only….

Mariah: (Interrupts abruptly) Only what? Eh, Only what? You have always only and your only has always had a lot.

Namondo: I beg chose me oh! It was my tongue. Forgive my tongue, I beg you.

Mariah: If you do not have any use for that your tongue then I advise you to cut it off. That your tongue is looking for people’s problems and know that I am ready to give it to you. I am warning you because next time, it won’t be like this. Our bodies will caress this dust. I am sure you have the muscles for that. I have taken enough of this your…(she mumbles a few words unheard by Namondo as she angrily winds out of the dormitory. There is a violent collision with another dormitory mate at the entrance into the dormitory engendering another violent exchange).

Agatha: (Violently drops the pail of steeped underwears and the soapy water spills on their legs and on the floor). Don’t you have eyes? Can’t you see where you are going? Have you gone mad again? Will one drink water around this place again?

Mariah: (sighs heavily) The same kind of people. Why am I meeting with the same kind of people today? Is this not a sign of illuck? Luck wants to smile my way and illuck will not give my luck chance? Which one will I chose now? I beg Papa God, do not give them the chance to spoil this day for me. It has started well and I hope that is how it will be. (She sings while she leaves the scene and Agatha stirs at her fixedly). Jalousie yeh, yeh yeh, tang tang tang tang.

Namondo approaches from the other end of the dormitory to meet Agatha. Both clap hands as Mariah disappears out of the dormitory.

Namondo: Chi-Chi (as she fondly refers to Agatha) What is it this time around?

Agatha: Mama, leave am so oh! If we survive this one this time, then…

Namondo: Then what? What cinema has been going on here? I saw the confrontation from the distance. What was it all about?

Agatha: Dear I can’t tell whether she was meditating at the top of her voice when coming out and she claims not to have noticed me. She was shouting money, shoes, clothes, I will die. She just bumped into me and when I wanted to talk, she rained insults on me. I could not also leave it. Her own is too much in this dormitory. If she thinks the school can contain her, this dormitory won’t contain the two of us. I will make her know that this space is too small for the two of us. I will teach her a lesson.

Namondo: You too. Can you tell a madwoman not to eat from a rubbish bin? You will only run into trouble if you think you want to make this girl see things the right way. Don’t you realize her head isn’t here?

Agatha: Is that my fault? Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. Did I get up from the wrong side of the bed today?

Namondo: Just leave her alone. She will get what she is looking for. But surely not from us. Sometime dem don kill am for village e want hang am na for some man e head. If you talk, problem. You no talk, problem. Have you ever seen her in a good mood with anybody? She has never been happy even with her own self. There is a bundle she is tying and we will soon see it. Don’t mind, it won’t be long.

SCENE TWO

Two by Two Bar, opposite Down Town Street. A group of rascals are gathered around a couple of empty bottles of beer. They are shouting at the top of their voices as loud music is ensuing from the background. One person can be distinctly heard shouting at the top of his voice…

Kingsley: Oh life good oh! Who say Cameroon no fine? Money sweet sotey! Man go die so? Man wey e say Cameroon no fine, make e go make e own. (He stands up from his seat, staggers for a few meters and belches aloud. He has pulled his trousers to the level of his buttocks exposing his boxer pants which is between brown and white in colour. His hair is wrapped into little logs and is also wearing a tight fitting shirt which exposes his hand muscles. He brandishes a series of new bank notes to his mates who shout at the top of their voices while he goes round the table. As he does so, they call him names.

All: The King (short form for Kingsley), Chapsman, Pichichi, Chopper, Money miss road, Girls choice…

Kingsley: Na my name. (Commands bar attendant to change the music) Play me “chop my money”. I am the Prime Minister’s son. I rule the world. I command Obama. Give them a drink each of their choice. I go pay. (Whispers to bar tender) Don’t give any drink above five hundred francs. (Phone rings and Kingsley moves away from the noise and in a deep voice answers call) Hello baby…

Mariah: (From the other end of phone) D, do you want to break my heart? Do you want to kill me? Is it a crime to love you? If love is a crime, then let me be your criminal. Don’t I mean anything to you? Why are you treating me like…

Kingsley: (Interrupting from the other end of phone) Oh baby girl, not so, not so. I was not around. I was out of town.

Mariah: And you could not call to tell me? The one you always claimed to…

Kingsley: (Interrupts again) No mum, not like that, business, business as usual. Just sudden, abrupt. I knew I would call you.

Mariah: When? Next year? Have you forgotten this is weekend? You mean you did not see my beeps and call backs?

Kingsley: But you too na? Upon all the credit I sent to you? When would you learn to call me for ten seconds?

Mariah: Is that an insult? You know I had to talk to my dad. Have you forgotten him? He is like that. He does not want to understand. You know he is a very difficult man. That credit was small, maybe you do not know.

Kingsley: Is he the one to marry you? Why is he behaving as if he is inspector Derrick? In any case, what’s up? I thought you are preparing for your exams.

Mariah: Which exams? I have been reading all the time. I need to relax. But that’s not the point. Have you forgotten Dark Angels. It’s in two weeks time. No plans for me?

Kingsley: What’s that? Who is dark angel?

Mariah: Have you forgotten the party we attended last year? The one we attended with those friends like that. Do you remember? Oh, I feel like I should fly. (She screams over phone) Do you remember. I don’t want to miss one minute of it.

Kingsley: Ya, ya, I can remember. But I can’t make it. You know I am a very busy person. I have a business appointment in Dubai in two weeks. I will certainly be out of the country.

Mariah: Please I take God name beg you. Your business can wait for some days. What do you want me to tell my friends? Do you want them to laugh at me? I am a big girl oh and I must defend my title. You have to do this for me. Defend your own title because I am already defending it from this angle. Don’t fail me if you love me.

Kingsley: When did you say it will take place again, let me see. Let me know what I can do.

Mariah: Sweet Breeze Arena, in two weeks.

Kingsley: I have heard you. Let me think about it and…

Mariah: Wait, wait, I have not finished. I want to buy…(sound from telephone indicated a dead line) He has dropped the call. He has dropped on me? I will show him. I will teach him a lesson he will never forget. This me. I don suffer.

Kingsley: (Grumbling to himself as he walks back to bar) Always wanting money. She will only call when she wants money. If it is not money, it is credit, if it is not credit it is…Can she stay without money? She likes money like a fly likes shit. She will surely get what...