DE TURKEY AND DE LAW, A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS BY ZORA HURSTON

published by Samizdat Express, Orange, CT, USA

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Black American classics: 

• Slave Narratives (Library of Congress)
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• Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
• Autobiography of an Ex-Colored by Johnson
• Cotelle: a Tale of the Suth by Brown
• Complete Poems of Paul Laurence Dunbar
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• A Negro Explorer at the North Pole by Henson
• The Underground Rail Road by Still

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CAST

ACT I  SETTING: A Negro village in Florida in our own time.

ACT II  Scene I  SETTING: Village street scene.

ACT II   SCENE II  SETTING: Interior of Macedonia Baptist Church,

ACT III   Scene I  SETTING: Curtain goes up on a stretch of railroad track with a luxurious Florida forest on the backdrop.

 CAST

Jim Weston             A young man and the town bully (A Methodist)

Dave Carter            The town's best hunter and fisherman (Baptist)

Joe Clarke             The Mayor, Postmaster, storekeeper

Daisy Blunt            The town vamp

Lum Boger              The Marshall

Walter Thomas          A villager (Methodist)

Lige Moseley           A villager (Methodist)

Joe Lindsay            A villager (Baptist)

Della Lewis            A villager (Baptist)

Tod Hambo              A villager (Baptist)

Lucy Taylor            A villager (Methodist)

Rev. Singletary                   (Baptist)

Rev. Simms                        (Methodist)

Villagers, children, dogs.

ACT I  SETTING: A Negro village in Florida in our own time.

All action from viewpoint of an actor facing audience.

PLACE: Joe Clarke's store porch in the village. A frame building with a false front. A low porch with two steps up. Door in center of porch. A window on each side of the door. A bench on each side of the porch. Axhandles, hoes and shovels, etc. are displayed leaning against the wall. Exits right and left. Street is unpaved. Grass and weeds growing all over.

TIME: It is late afternoon on a Saturday in summer.

Before the curtain rises the voices of children are heard, boisterous at play. Shouts and laughter.

 VOICE OF ONE BOY Naw, I don't want to play wringing no dish rag! We gointer play chick mah chick mah craney crow.

GIRL'S VOICE Yeah, less play dat, and I'm gointer to be de hen.

BOY'S VOICE And I'm gointer be de hawk. Lemme git myself a stick to mark wid. (The curtain rises slowly. As it goes up the game is being organized. The boy who is the hawk is squatting center stage in the street before the store with a short twig in his hand. The largest girl is lining up the other children behind her.)

THE MOTHER HEN (looking back over her flock) Y'all ketch holt of one 'nother's clothes so de hauk can't git yuh. (They do.) Y'all straight now?

CHORUS Yeah. (The march around the hawk commences.)

HEN AND CHICKS      

Chick mah chick mah craney crow

Went to de well to wash my toe

When I come back my chick was gone.

What time ole witch?

HAWK (making a tally on the ground) One!

HEN AND CHICKS Chick mah chick etc.--(While this is going on Walter Thomas from the store door eating peanuts from a bag appears and seats himself on the porch beside the steps.)

HAWK (Scoring again) Two!                        (Enter a little girl right. She trots up to the big girl.)

LITTLE GIRL (officiously) Titter, mama say if you don't come on wid dat soap she gointer wear you out.

HEN AND CHICKS Chick mah chick etc. (While this is being sung, enter Joe Lindsay and seats himself on right bench. He lights his pipe. The little girl stands b by the fence rubbing her leg with her foot.

HAWK (scoring) Three!

LITTLE GIRL (insistent) Titter, titter! Mama say to tell you to come on home wid dat soap and rake up dat yard. I bet she gointer beat you good.

BIG GIRL (angrily) Aw naw, mama ain't sent you after me, nothin' of de kind! Gwan home and leave me alone.

LITTLE GIRL You better come on! I'm gointer tell mama how 'omanish you actin cause you in front of dese boys.

BIG GIRL (makes a threatenin' gesture) Aw don't be so fast and showin' off in company. Ack lak you ain't got no sense!

LITTLE GIRL (starts to cry) Dat's all right. I'm going home and tell mama you down here playing wid boys and she sho gointer whup you good, too. I'm gointer tell her you called me a fool too, now. (She walks off, wiping her eyes and nose with the back of her hand) Yeah, I'm goin' tell her! Jus' showin' off in front of ole John Wesley Taylor. I'm going to tell her too, now.

BIG GIRL (flounces her skirt) Tell her! Tell her! Turn her up and smell her! (Game resumed) Chick mah chick etc.

HAWK Four! (He arises and imitates a hawk flying and trying to catch a chicken. Calling in a high voice.) Chickie!!

HEN (Flapping her wings to protect her young) My chickens' sleep.

HAWK Chickie!!

HEN My chickens' sleep.

HAWK I shall have a chick.

HEN You shan't have a chick.

HAWK I'm going home. (flies off)

HEN There's de road.

HAWK I'm comin' back.

(During this dialog the hawk is feinting and darting in his efforts to catch a chicken and the chickens are dancing defensively.)

HEN Don't keer if you do.

HAWK My pot's a boiling.

HEN Let it boil.

HAWK My guts a growling

HEN Let 'em growl.

HAWK I must have a chick.

HEN You shan't have nairn.

HAWK My mama's sick.

HEN Let her die.

HAWK Chickie!!

HEN My chicken's sleep.

(Hawk darts quickly around the hen and grabs a chicken and leads him off and places the captive on his knees at the store porch. After a brief bit of dancing he catches another, then a third who is a chubby little boy. The little boy begins to cry.)

LITTLE BOY I ain't gointer play cause you hurt me.

HAWK Aw, naw, I din't hurt you.

LITTLE BOY Yeah you did too. You pecked me right here. (points to top of his head)

HAWK Well if you so touchous you got to cry every time anybody look at you, you can't play wid us.

LITTLE BOY (smothering sobs) I ain't cryin'. (He is placed with the other captives. Hawk returns to game.)

HAWK Chickie.

HEN My chickens sleep!

VOICE FROM A DISTANCE Titter! You Titter!!!

BIG GIRL Yessum

VOICE If you don't come here wid dat soap you better!

BIG GIRL (shakes herself poutingly, half sobs) Soon's I git grown I'm gointer run away. Everytime a person gits to havin' fun, it's "come here, Titter and rake de yard." She don't never make Bubber do nothin. (She exits into the store.)

HAWK Now we ain't got no hen.

ALL THE GIRLS (in a clamor) I'll be de mama hen! Lemme be it! (Enter...