Meditations For Deepening Love Collection (eBook)

The commitment to eternal love is the inner light that keeps the spark of love shining brightly—forever.

There are two essential problems we face with romance today. Both are the result of our misunderstanding. The first problem is that we lack a true commitment to it. Romance, love, is not just a physical bonding but a spiritual union. It must be approached from the spirits of man and woman, which brings up the larger issue of eternity. Eternal life or eternal love is an idea we often hold when we think of love. The marriage vow implicitly refers to this: “For better or for worse until death do us part.” But there is the thought that even through death we will find each other again. We could say “for better or for worse through life and death.”

I understand it is difficult to grasp the idea of eternal life or love. But that is not the point. The issue is to commit to it. Eternal love asks everything of us, a total eternal commitment. That is the consciousness, the spirit, that is available to us to bring to our relationship. And you know what? Nothing less will do. This is the great discovery. Nothing less will do in life and love. In fact, any relationship not based on eternal love between the sexual two is destined to fail. Why is this so? Because the commitment is not there to begin with. We actually find ourselves in an all or nothing situation. Life does not give us in betweens. Eternal love is a very simple decision, the simplest decision we can make. It is also the most immense decision we can make, immanent to all that is life.

To help clarify this idea of eternal love further, let me say that eternal love is not something to seek. Many of us fall into the trap of seeking that “perfect other.” Rather, eternal love is an internal experience that we may, if we choose, bring to our relationship. It is, I believe, the light of love that keeps our relationship shining brightly.

But before we can really commit to eternal love we need to understand one more thing, which brings me to the second problem we face with romance. And that is, we lack a recognition of the essence or soul of male and of female. Most discussions on romance or love subsume that it is the same for both male and female. It is not, for male and female themselves are not the same. They are different, in fact, opposite, and so, too, is romance different for each. Now, I am not suggesting here in any way that male and female are unequal. Let us say that they are both equal in necessity to life or creation but opposite in purpose or function. Notice that both a male and a female are required to bring forth life. There is a saying that I am fond of—one is not without the other; both are needed for either to be—that nicely expresses the interdependence (not co-dependence) and balance of male and female. With this, we truly need to understand the fundamental difference between male and female, for only in that sexual difference can we recognize one another and thereby see our existent need for each other. This need we have for each other is the passion, the energy, of the creative, of life. We express this need in the sharing of our sexual difference, not only physically, but consciously and spiritually as well. Sexual difference is our only vehicle to unity.

What I am speaking of here is the capacity and ability to truly and fully see that sexual other. Isn't it the major complaint of women that men do not really understand them deep down? And men have the same complaint about women. What then are we not seeing? What is the essential difference of male and female that we must recognize to truly see each other's unique soul? Actually, we have always known.

It has long been held that the male purpose is to secure life and the female purpose is to reproduce life. This is actually true. In metaphysical terms, we would say that the male effort is to hold the relationship in form. The male divides from the unity of male-female to define and secure that relationship. It is in this act of security that the male holds the essence of individuality in his soul.

The female effort is just the opposite. She unites the division of male and female. It is from the unity of male-female that the next division or birth of life, a procreation, can take place. All reproduction is through female. She holds the essence of unity in her soul.

Now, I understand that my depiction of male and female may go against current thinking, but ask yourself, what is your essence as a man or a woman, whichever you happen to be? Embrace that essence; that is where your source of love is to be found.

Let's return to the idea of interdependence for a moment. Notice how each sexuality holds an essential purpose or value in creation yet needs that other equally to carry out their own creative purpose. The male cannot secure life and family without giving himself over to female. It is only through female that the male can be continued onward. Through female, male is reborn. Conversely, female cannot reproduce life without receiving the totality of male inside her. From this unity, female gives birth to life. Female is Mother, and her every birth then needs to be encompassed by the security of male, Father. And so we see the dual functions of male individualization and female unification in play that all life rests upon.

Now, the question for men is, do you see into the soul of woman? Do you see her unity? Eternal love cannot be yours until you do. When you do, eternal love cannot be denied you. And women, do you see the soul of man, his individuality? Do you see that man holding the division of male and female with all his might just for you? That is where your eternal love lies. To enter the sanctuary of love we must know that very soul of our sexual other. And I will tell you that the distinct essences of male and female will never change. Male and female are from the beginning and will always be. Together they form what we call family. From their love come children. And life goes on. Love is, in its essence, procreative. Everything a male and female do together is creative. Everything they do together is created out of their love. Male and female are in eternal love together right now! Their love is happening right now. Each of us is actually in eternal love with our sexual other half right now. When you know it so will you see it.

This brings me to the important point of abundance. For your mate to come to you, you must truly feel he or she is already there. Those feelings of lack and fear and despair block romance. How, though, is one to hold the thought–my mate is at hand? Actually, it is simple, be at hand for your mate. Be completely ready and available for your mate. Give all of yourself to your mate now. Hold to the commitment of your eternal life and love together now. Monogamy begins now. Even if you haven't met your other yet, stay loyal to the connection you feel. It is not wise to indiscriminately sleep around while you are waiting, for that discharges the connection you are building. It is the greater, eternal, connection that we seek, and it is difficult to open that spiritual door while involved in activities that inevitably deny our deepest commitment to them. Sexual intimacy comes after the connection is formed and acknowledged, not before. Without that spiritual connection, the sexual act falls short and, in fact, takes one further away from true love.

This is an important point to consider. In this day of “sexual freedom,” there is a real danger in one placing his or her sexual gratification before the spiritual connection and commitment to love. Sexual activity alone cannot fulfill our hearts and souls. When we separate sexual activity from spiritual connection, we lose our sense of beauty, purity, specialness, honor, concern, and manners upon which romance depends.

Now, for some, to quit sleeping around is most difficult. And yet, if one just controlled these actions a mate could come forth. But how is one to do this? This is why I come back to the ideas of eternal love and sexual difference to give to one some basis of understanding the spiritual connection of interdependency between male and female. To feel that connection is to feel the abundance of love in all one thinks and does. And then it is not difficult at all to give all of oneself to that sexual other half at each moment throughout creation. I don't mean to make this temporary celibacy a demand, obligation, or unattainable frustration or guilt. Consider it as a possibility or opening that comes to you rather than you hopelessly striving for it. Let the spirit of the greater connection shine through you.

As a last point, let us not forget that love is creative. Love stems from the balance of the sexual opposites of male and female. Reproduction is always occurring if only at the mental and spiritual levels. Romance is always tied into reproduction. This is its intimacy. The sexual act without reproduction kills the spirit. This does not mean one cannot use birth control, but it does mean that the spiritual recognition of procreation must be in place in the consciousness of that male and female for romance to flourish. This recognition is the secret for keeping love alive as well. The spiritual connection of eternal love is always available to us. At any moment we can bring it to our relationship so that our relationship stays alive and holds to the love and wonder of our first touch together. Each moment is ours to...