To Die For (eBook)

Most people don't take cheerleading seriously. If they only knew . . . All-American girl, that's me. If you look at the pictures in my high school yearbooks, you'll see a girl with long blond hair, a tan, and a wide grin that shows off her perfect white teeth, courtesy of thousands of dollars spent on braces and fluoride washes. The teeth, that is, not the hair and the tan. I had the effortless confidence of the upper-middle-class American teenage princess, nothing bad could happen to me. After all, I was a cheerleader. I admit it. Actually, I'm proud of it. A lot of people think cheerleaders are both brainless and snooty, but that's only people who have never been a cheerleader. I forgive them their ignorance. Cheerleading is hard work, a demanding blend of skill and strength, and it's dangerous. People frequently get injured, sometimes even killed, doing the cheers. Usually it's girls getting injured: guys are the tossers, girls are the tossees. Technically we're called 'flyers,' which is really silly because of course we can't fly. We're tossed. The tossees are the ones who fall on their heads and break their necks. Well, I never broke my neck, but I did break my left arm, and my collarbone, and dislocated my right knee once. I can't count the sprains and bruises. But I've got great balance, strong legs, and I can still do a backflip and the splits. Plus, I went to college on a cheerleading scholarship. Is this a cool country, or what? So, anyway, my name is Blair Mallory. Yes, I know: It's a fluff name. It goes with the cheerleading and the blond hair. I can't help it, it's what my parents named me. My father's name is Blair, so I guess I'm just glad they didn't tag me as a junior. I don't think I would have been Homecoming Queen if my name had been Blair Henry Mallory, Jr. I'm happy enough with Blair Elizabeth, thank you. I mean, show-business people are naming their kids things like Homer, for God's sake. When those kids grow up and kill their parents, I think all the cases should be ruled justifiable homicide. Which brings up the murder I saw. Actually it doesn't, but at least it's kind of logical. The connection, I mean. And bad things do too happen to all-American princess cheerleaders. I got married, didn't I? That kind of ties in to the murder, too. I married Jason Carson right out of college, so for four years my name was Blair Carson. I should have known better than to marry someone whose first and last name rhymed, but some things you learn only from experience. Jason was big into politics: the student council, campaigning for his dad the state congressman, his uncle the mayor, blah blah blah. Jason was so good-looking he could literally make girls stutter. Too bad he knew it. He had thick, sun-kissed hair (that's poetic for blond), chiseled features, dark blue eyes, and a body kept in excellent shape. Think John Kennedy, Jr. The body, I mean. So there we were, the poster couple for blond hair and white teeth. And my body was pretty fine, too, if I do say so myself. What else could we do but get married? Four years later, we got unmarried, to our mutual great relief. After all, we had nothing in common but our looks, and I really don't think that's a good basis for marriage, do you? Jason wanted to have a baby so we'd look like the all-American couple while he campaigned to become the youngest state congressman, which really, if you want to know, irritated the hell out of me because he'd refused to have a baby before and now all of a sudden it was a campaign plus? I told him to kiss my ass. Not that he hadn't kissed it before, but the context was different, you know? I made out like...