Rakitin You haven’t turned a page for ten minutes.

Natalya I’m a slow reader.

Rakitin No you’re not.

Schaaf Hearts!

Anna Again?

Schaaf Yes. I have the hearts.

Anna You’re a lucky old devil.

Lizaveta Our pain is his pleasure.

Schaaf Play, good ladies.

Anna Be warned, Professor, you’ll scare us off.

Lizaveta He’s a demon!

Schaaf It is only money.

Natalya Must you stand there?

Rakitin I’m your guest, you invited me here! You summoned me, three days ago.

Schaaf Hearts!

Anna Not again?

Lizaveta His luck is both disturbing and suspicious.

Anna (to Natalya) Natasha, sevens and eights are pouring out of him!

Lizaveta He bleeds hearts!

Natalya You lose every day – stop playing with him!

Schaaf No! They like to suffer, it is a peculiarity of the female.

Natalya (to Rakitin) Did you see my husband?

Rakitin He’s down at the weir. He was explaining a seemingly complicated detail to the workmen. To clarify his point he waded in, right up to his waist.

Natalya Well, he does like to slosh about.

Rakitin The men were astonished.

Anna Where’s Kolya?

Schaaf Where indeed? The boy is late for my tutorial.

Lizaveta Late? That’s odd; he lives for his German lessons.

Natalya They went for a walk. He’ll be back.

Schaaf (to Lizaveta) You to play, good lady.

Natalya Were you in Petersburg?

Rakitin Yes. Some business.

Natalya And some pleasure?

Rakitin No one you know. Then I journeyed to the Krinitsyns and endured a memorably unpleasant fortnight.

Natalya Tell me all.

Rakitin The Krinitsyns are young, beautiful, married a year … and they want to kill each other. By next spring their mutual loathing will have blossomed. By winter their marriage will have frozen. And then they’ll have some children.

Natalya How did you pass the time?

Rakitin We drank.

Natalya You explored the limits of country life.

Rakitin And then I received your letter. Why did you send for me?

Natalya I don’t remember.

Rakitin You wrote, ‘I’m in despair, please come at once.’

Natalya You should’ve ignored me.

Rakitin You know I can’t.

Natalya Ignore me!

Lizaveta Ha! He’s lost a trick!

Anna He’s defeated!

Kolya Grandma.

Anna What a fine weapon. Who made it?

Kolya (points to Belyaev) He did. He took his knife and some hazel and just did it. The arrow head is very sharp, it’s flint.

Anna Oww! It’s lethal. You be careful.

Natalya May I see?

Natalya (to Belyaev) It’s beautifully made.

Kolya (to Natalya) Feel the tension.

Natalya And now, your German lesson.

Kolya But we’re going to help feed the horses. Please!

Natalya Vera, return this boy in ten minutes. Go!

Rakitin (to Lizaveta) Who was that?

Lizaveta The new tutor. Belyaev. He appeared a few weeks ago to ‘supplement’ Professor Schaaf. He’s one of his former students from the university – his protégé.

Schaaf No, he is not! Ladies, do we play?

Matvey Doctor Shpigelsky has arrived.

Shpigelsky They can see that! And you don’t announce a doctor. (To Matvey.) As well you know. (To Anna.) Dear lady, please tell me you’re annihilating the German, tell me you’ve inserted a stake through his heart.

Anna He is staggering …

Lizaveta He totters …

Schaaf But he is not yet fallen.

Shpigelsky (to Lizaveta) Madam, I have some new pills for you. Oh, I like your – what would you call it?

Lizaveta … Clothing?

Shpigelsky And the way it has relationship with your hair.

Madam. Are you well?

Natalya I had a fever but it passed.

Shpigelsky You should’ve sent for me!

Natalya There was some medicine from last time.

Shpigelsky They don’t last for ever. Even the finest potions can separate. You give them a shake but the magic has evaporated. (To Rakitin.) Why are you sniggering? (To Natalya.) Please …

Hmm. Nerves. You gush. You’re a spring. You don’t walk enough. You need to run about.

Natalya Where?

Shpigelsky Scamper in the fields. Fill your delicate lungs with air. Perspire.

Rakitin You men of science are mightily impressive.

Shpigelsky (to Natalya) May we speak in private?

Each time I see him he’s aged a decade.

Natalya To the matter.

Shpigelsky Your ward. The exquisite Vera. Subject: her future. A good and noble friend has asked me to discover your intentions.

Natalya He seeks her hand in marriage?

Shpigelsky You have it.

Natalya She’s seventeen, you old goat.

Shpigelsky Madam, you’re perfectly aware that my friend is not me. My eligibility does not exceed my humility. Vera will do better than a country doctor.

Natalya Oh, you tiger.

Shpigelsky It seems I must break a confidence – this is your way, madam. My friend is one of your neighbours.

Natalya Bolshintsov?

Shpigelsky I couldn’t say.

Natalya Then how may I consider the proposal?

Shpigelsky It’s Bolshintsov.

Natalya Then it’s ‘no’. I’m insulted you think him worthy of Vera.

Shpigelsky I concede he lacks your natural grace but he’s respectable, willing and very rich. I sense you’re unmoved.

Natalya I am stone.

Shpigelsky Well, she’ll have to marry someone.

Natalya Yes, but not anyone! Your friend is deadly. Do thank him for his unwelcome interest.

Kolya Are you busy?

Rakitin No.

Kolya Please could you find me some glue?

Rakitin Yes.

Kolya Now?

Natalya Kolya!

Anna Professor, would you care to settle up?

Schaaf ...