Trust Me

THE AUTHOR NICK MORGAN, founder of Public Words Inc., is one of America’s top communication and speech coaches. He is a former Fellow at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, affiliated with the Center for Public Leadership, and served as editor of the Harvard Management Communication Letter. He is the author of the acclaimed book Working the Room, reprinted in paperback as Give Your Speech, Change the World.

Introduction 1

Every communication is both a verbal and a nonverbal conversation

We are all unconscious experts in each other’s body language

1 Leaders Need Both Charisma and Authenticity 7

You need charisma and authenticity to lead effectively

Gesture can convey meaning independent of words

Our most important dialogues with others take place nonverbally

2 Aligning the Two Conversations Will Make You a Powerful Communicator 21

Communications that align both the content and the nonverbal conversations can be powerful

We unconsciously ascribe intent to the gestures we see

The paradox of leadership today is that you have to practice to look spontaneous

3 Being Open, Part One: How to Master the Verbal Conversation 35

The verbal aspect of openness involves clarity of intent

The content of an open communication begins with clear framing

To conclude an open communication, reach agreement about what has been said

4 Being Open, Part Two: How to Master the Nonverbal Conversation 43

Trust is the essential goal of an open, nonverbal conversation

When you communicate, you create a persona that other people unconsciously decode

If you work on the conscious control of intention, your gestures take care of themselves

5 Being Connected, Part One: How to Master the Verbal Connection 59

Connected communication deals with the audience’s concerns

Connected communication is direct and simple

Connected communication is reciprocal

6 Being Connected, Part Two: How to Master the Nonverbal Connection 71

Connection is first and foremost about closeness

Everything significant between people happens in personal space or intimate space

You can signal your intent with your posture

7 How to Be Passionate with Content 79

Label the emotion

Tell an uncomfortable truth

Verbal restraint can be a more powerful indicator of depth of feeling than excess

8 How to Be Passionate Nonverbally 93

The first place people look to find passion is in the voice

A good voice needs resonance and presence

Focus on your emotional attitude toward your meeting, topic, or event

9 Listening, Part One: How to Listen Verbally — and Charismatically 101

At its most basic, good listening offers feedback

The most powerful kind of listening is empathic and analytical

Identify the emotion and state its underlying causes without trying to solve the problem

10 Listening, Part Two: How to Listen Nonverbally — and Charismatically 111

Listen with your whole body

Listening is at the heart of real charisma

You must learn to read others’ emotions consciously

11 How to Read Others 121

Openness is expressed through the face and torso

Your unconscious evaluation will be more accurate than your conscious one (at fi rst)

Look for overall body orientation to determine the state of your alliances

12 Principles of Persuasive Content 143

Phrase your arguments so that your listeners can hear them

Persuasive rhetoric has a clear goal in mind and is usually transparent about it

Authenticity and charisma in content require self-revelation in a confessional age

13 Principles of Persuasive Nonverbal Communication 161

If the two conversations are aligned, you can be an effective communicator

Decision making is largely an emotional, and therefore a nonverbal, process

Authenticity and charisma derive from becoming open, connected, passionate, and listening with and to your audience

14 Conclusion: Leadership Is Communication 173

Control your body language by controlling your intent

Watch for unconscious betrayals through your body language

Repetition is the key to the unconscious

Notes 189

Acknowledgments 197

The Author 199

Index 201