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The Current State of Women and Work

For a woman in today's current climate, it takes courage to go to work every day.

The glass ceiling with all of its dents and cracks still exists.

A small fraction of the challenges we deal with are:

• The gender wage gap, where the maximum we earn is 80 cents to each $1 a man makes.
• The Motherhood Penalty,1 earning just 71 cents to every $1 a father makes.
• The fact that we are expected to be primary caregivers and are severely impacted when caregiving needs arise.
• The lack of support for us in management.
• The failure to promote us into executive leadership roles and how companies ultimately suffer as a result of our absence at the decision‐making table.
• We are ignored in meetings at work; worse, we are blatantly undermined and reduced to an “assumed” administrative role.
• We experience overt and covert harassment and discrimination, of all kinds, at work.
• We walk into toxic work cultures and the obnoxious bro‐culture that unbelievably still exists.
• We have to navigate the inequities with work on top of the actual duties of our job, and let's not forget the pressure to deliver on unrealistic goals while we “smile more” and “consider our tone.”
• In this chapter I attempt to give an overview of the current state of affairs for women and work. I carefully chose the word “attempt.” There are so many instances, circumstances, experiences, perspectives, and stories that there could be an entire catalogue of books on the current state of affairs for women and work. There's no way I or any single person could capture it all. My effort, therefore, is to highlight the commonalities of shared experiences and some of the most prevalent challenges. Having context, shared language, and perspective from the same angle will illuminate the importance of the framework provided in the chapters ahead.

The Rules of Engagement Are Changing

When the pandemic hit, it further exposed, highlighted, and underscored the inequities women face at work and in their day‐to‐day lives, from the massive, forceful exit of women due to caregiving responsibilities to exacerbating the demand for women to deliver peak performance and save companies – all while working from home. It was and continues to be problematic and detrimental, not just to women but to society as a whole.

Women are in a battle that will require new rules of engagement when it comes to the way we work. Women's fundamental rights are at stake both inside and outside the office. From the pandemic to the recent Supreme Court Roe v. Wade verdict, there are and continue to be clear indicators that we, as women, have to do something differently if we want to be seen, heard, and paid, and to continue to pave the way for other women to choose and fulfill their own definition of success.

And by doing something differently, I don't mean hustling harder, changing who you are to fit someone else's expectations, dumbing down yourself or your qualifications, or increasing your tolerance amid toxic work cultures. I'm talking about something more drastic, impactful, and meaningful.

I'm talking about quitting any job that does not respect, value, or support your work and the progression of your career. If companies can do it without us, let them try, period.

Far too many women are in abusive relationships with work and it's time that you break up for once and for all. Breaking up with a toxic work relationship, manager, or environment looks like putting yourself first, knowing your professional and personal value, advocating for yourself, and making the decision to no longer accept anything other than a healthy organization that compensates you well, offers an aligned culture that shares similar values, and that appreciates your time, talent, and experience. It's not easy. It's absolutely not convenient, but it is necessary.

Let's stop making excuses and staying in positions that are silently – or not so silently – killing not only our careers but ourselves, literally. The physical and mental health issues we experience due to the chronic stress associated with work, a toxic work culture, and a terrible boss are unacceptable. Even if it seems impossible, know that you do have options. If you need a strategy for how to quit well, do a quick good search for my latest TedTalk, “How to Quit Without Ruining Your Career”.

The Way We Are Expected to Work Is Becoming a Public Health Crisis

US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy released the Surgeon General's Framework for Workplace Mental Health and Well‐being report in 2022. The report documents the severe impacts that toxic work environments can have on our physical and mental health. The report states, In fact, chronic stress has also been linked to a higher risk of developing diseases such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease, obesity, cancer, and autoimmune diseases. Such stress can also contribute to mental and behavioral health challenges, including depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and substance misuse, and can have negative impacts on the mental health of the children and families of workers.”2

According to CBS News, this report is the “first time the Surgeon General has explicitly linked job factors such as low wages, discrimination, harassment, overwork, long commutes and other factors to chronic physical health conditions like heart disease and cancer. Work‐related stress can also lead to mental health conditions including depression and anxiety …”3

The pandemic put a spotlight on workplace cultures and practices that have taken a toll on workers and their families for far too long – I read “workers” as women, in particular. This report is not just about frontline workers, as so many reports often highlight. It specifically calls out all companies who fail to meet what the Surgeon General has identified as the Five Essentials for Workplace Mental Health & Well‐Being, which includes the following components outlined in the report (and illustrated in Figure 1.1):

Protection from Harm

• Prioritize workplace physical and psychological safety
• Enable adequate rest
• Normalize and support mental health
• Operationalize Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Accessibility (DEIA) norms, policies, and programs

Connection and Community

• Create cultures of inclusion and belonging
• Cultivate trusted relationships
• Foster collaboration and teamwork

Figure 1.1 Illustration of the five essentials for workplace mental health and well‐being.

Source: https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/workplace-mental-health-well-being.pdf

Work‐Life Harmony

• Provide more autonomy over how work is done
• Make schedules as flexible and predictable as possible
• Increase access to paid leave
• Respect boundaries between work and nonwork time

Mattering at Work

• Provide a living wage
• Engage workers in workplace decisions
• Build a culture of gratitude and recognition
• Connect individual work with the organizational mission

Opportunity for Growth

• Offer quality training, education, and mentoring
• Foster clear, equitable pathways for career advancement
• Ensure relevant, reciprocal feedback

Knowledge Is Power and an Invitation to Take Action

If you do not have a standard for where you decide to exchange your time and talent for compensation, let those five essentials be a starting place. A common question I am asked as a coach is, “How do I know if a company or department is healthy? How do I know it's a good place to work?”

My immediate response is to go look at the executive and senior leadership teams. If there is an absence of diversity – gender, racial, socioeconomic, or otherwise – your voice is likely absent from the room. Pay attention to the diversity of the team you'll be working with day‐to‐day. During your interview, ask every person about diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts and pay close attention to how they respond.

Second, do your due diligence. Speak with employees at the company at different levels – entry to senior – and inquire about their experience working for the company. A quick LinkedIn search can help you identify individuals you can reach out to and connect with to learn more. You can also ask HR about the general percentage of turnover and specifically about the percentage of turnover for employees who identify as women within the company. You may want to be more specific and ask those questions directly to teams you'll be working with in your role. If HR won't share, you can typically find some data on job search sites online.

Third, ask to review their workplace policies and handbook before you accept the offer. Check to see if their policies address concerns that are most important to you. At the very least, make sure they include elements of the workplace health and well‐being framework.

Last, but not least, ask questions that you want answered during the interview or at the...