Getting Over Ourselves (eBook)

CHRISTINA CONGLETON is a human development specialist and leadership coach. Her writing has appeared in publications including Harvard Business Review. Christina coaches in private practice with Axon Leadership and partners with consultancies to deliver coaching around the world. She lives outside Denver with her family.

Acknowledgments xi

Introduction 1

Part I The Urgency to Get Over Our Selves 5

1 A World on Edge 7

Paradise Burning 8

Stressed to Death 12

A Failed Prediction 15

Keynes Versus Hayek 17

The Heart and Soul of Neoliberalism 24

2 Lost Heroes 29

Selfie Generation 32

Lonely Generation 38

Burnout Generation 42

Lost Generation 47

Another Failed Prediction? 51

3 Spirals of Change 55

What Was Enlightenment? 56

From Enlightenment to the Dog Whisperer 58

Tracing the Path of Human Development 61

The Opportunist (Self-Sovereign Mind) 64

The Diplomat and Expert (Socialized Mind) 66

The Achiever (Self-Authoring Mind) 71

Toxic Achieverism 72

Spiral to Arc 74

4 Wandering at an Apex 77

The Self-Questioning Transformer 77

Navigating the Postmodern Terrain 82

Neoliberal Quicksand 87

Destroy This Model 88

Slipping Through the Cracks 89

Part II Un-self Help 93

5 Selfies and Self-Realization

Guidepost 1: From Self-Perfection to the Wisdom of Humility 95

Narcissism as Mistaken Identity 96

Default Mode 100

Narrative Versus Minimal Self 102

The True Meaning of Humility 105

The Richness of Self-Realization 107

Anchoring in the Practice of Embodiment 109

6 Loneliness and Oneness

Guidepost 2: From Separateness to the Wisdom of Interdependence 117

Physical Interdependence: Bodies of Multitudes 118

Psychological Interdependence: The Resonant Brain 125

Spiritual Interdependence: The Garment of Destiny 132

Anchoring in the Practice of Connection 134

7 Burnout and Wholeheartedness

Guidepost 3: From Rationality to the Wisdom of Vulnerability 139

When Your Heart's Not in It 140

Heart as Escape Hatch 145

Mark of the Valkyries 147

Real Compassion 149

Vulnerable Confidence 151

The Heart of Yes and No 153

Anchoring in the Practice of Courage 154

8 Lost and Liberated

Guidepost 4: From Progress to the Wisdom of Openness 159

Dare to Not Know 164

Staying with Uncertainty 166

The Cure in Curiosity 168

Relaxing into Insight 169

The Mindful Brain 173

The Modern Mindfulness Trap 176

Anchoring in the Practice of Wonder 179

Part III Concluding and Beginning 183

9 Friends Between Worlds 185

Calling All Builders 187

Power in Diversity, Diversity in Power 188

Moving Slowly 189

Listening Deeply 191

Loving Fiercely 192

I Don't Want to Move to Mars 193

Room for Alternatives 195

Heroes of Belonging 196

Notes 199

References 203

Recommended Reading 239

About the Author 241

Index 243