The Rules of People: A personal code for getting the best from everyone

Richard Templar is the author of the international bestselling Rules books. Over 2 million people around the world have enjoyed and now play by Richard Templar's Rules. The complete list of titles is as follows: The Rules of Life, The Rules of Work, The Rules of Management, The Rules of Wealth, The Rules of Parenting, The Rules of Love, The Rules to Break, The Rules of People, The Rules of Thinking, and The Rules of Living Well.

Understanding people  

1 Understanding helps  
2 No one has to be like you  
3 People hear what they want to hear 
4 People believe what they want to believe  
5 Your attitude influences their response  
6 Remember your first impression  
7 People are tribal  
8 Everyone wants to feel valued  
9 They only tease you if they like you  
10 … but banter isn't teasing  
11 Everyone else is insecure too  
12 Spots don't change  
13 Behaviour isn't character  
14 Other people's relationships are a mystery  
15 Big words are there to impress you  
16 Confrontation can be scary  
17 People feel nervous because they care  
18 Angry people are sad people  
19 Crying isn't always sad  
20 Some people just don't think  
21 Square pegs don't fit in round holes  
22 Wild and wacky isn't always fun  
23 It's hard being 13  
24 They'll shout if you do  
25 Responsibility creates independence  
26 Teenagers hate you because they love you  
27 Talking is what matters  
28 Listening is what matters  
29 No one likes saying sorry  
30 The world is full of rebels  
31 Some weirdos are great people  
 
Helping people   
32 Put your oxygen mask on first  
33 Get in the swamp  
34 It's OK just to feel  
35 Listen, don't solve  
36 Know your limitations  
37 It's not a competition  
38 Never give advice  
39 Accept their decision  
40 Give them control  
41 Get them to think for themselves  
42 Learn to be psychic  
43 Listen to what they don't say  
44 People who can't find an answer may not want one  
45 Don't tell people to move on  
46 Loneliness is a state of mind  
47 Give them privacy  
48 All interactions are positive or negative  
49 Not everyone wants help  
 
Getting them on your side  
50 Loyalty runs both ways  
51 Remember the details  
52 Flattery should never be empty  
53 Praise effectively  
54 Keep your praise in proportion  
55 People want to be liked  
56 Earn their respect  
57 Have a sense of humour  
58 Don't be scared to admit your mistakes  
59 Be tolerant  
60 Make individual relationships  
61 Turn the best side to the front  
62 People generally agree with themselves  
63 Credit people with your own ideas  
64 Don't tell them they're wrong (even if they are)  
65 Get them to collaborate  
66 Be human  
67 Share  
68 Say thank you properly  
69 Get under their skin  
70 Criticise constructively  
71 Agree without agreeing  
72 Let them win  
73 Make it three-dimensional  
74 Give and take  
75 Know what you both want  
76 Get all their cards on the table  
77 Give them a get-out  
78 Never be scared  
79 Don't get caught on the hop  


Difficult people  
80 There's only one person you can change  
81 It's scary being controlled  
82 If they feel small, they'll big themselves up  
83 Shouty people want to be heard  
84 Negative people can't half be useful  
85 Control freaks know they're right  
86 Blackmailers want to control you  
87 Insecurity can cause mistrust  
88 Prejudice comes from ignorance  
89 Martyrs crave recognition  
90 Sensitive people can't toughen up  
91 People will listen if it's in their interest  
92 Passive-aggressive people fear conflict  
93 Patronising can be accidental  
94 You can't beat a true narcissist  
95 Moaners don't want to change  
96 Competitive complainers don't just need a whinge  
97 Secrets are full of power  
98 Some people just can't lose  
99 Manipulation is more than just persuasion  
100 Busy people are less trouble