Introduction

First, we need to set the scene of the modern workplace. It's an environment that is constantly shifting on every front — except one. The relationship dynamics that occur across the organisation will be a primary source of either irritation or inspiration.

Organisations are based on relationships, and understanding how they work is crucial if you are to thrive rather than merely survive. All work environments have rules of behaviour and standard operating procedures, although they are usually not set down in print. Sometimes these rules are helpful; at other times they do little more than perpetuate stereotypes and myths.

Before we go any further, let's dig into the reality of today's working world, and set the framework you will use to advance your relationships and position on the field.

When woken by that early-morning alarm at the start of another week, do you jump out of bed and think, ‘Hooray, it's Monday!', or do you roll over, hit the snooze button and wish it was Saturday?

Your reaction is in large part determined by the relationships you have at work. You don't need research studies to tell you that you are far more likely to enjoy going to work if you work with people you like and have a positive and healthy relationship with your boss.

Sadly, the reality is that for many of us, our working environment isn't much fun, and in extreme cases can actually be damaging our health.

You know it's true: People don't leave their job, they leave their boss.

In May 2019, the 194 members of the World Health Organization (WHO) unanimously agreed to amend the International Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems to classify professional burnout as a recognised illness. The WHO defines professional burnout as ‘a syndrome conceptualised as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed'.

Beyond Blue's landmark 2017 study ‘State of Workplace Mental Health in Australia' found that:

• 52 per cent of employees believe their workplace is mentally healthy
• 56 per cent believe their most senior leader values mental health
• 21 per cent had taken time off work in the prior 12 months because they felt stressed, anxious, depressed or mentally unhealthy.

Supporting these findings, a PwC report into the costs of mental health concluded that absenteeism costs Australian businesses about $4.7 billion every year. Presenteeism, where people are less productive in their role due to mental health issues, costs around $6.1 billion a year, and compensation claims cost an estimated $146 million a year.

The employee–boss dynamic also impacts workplace productivity and culture, and ultimately organisational outcomes. The Great Place to Work Institute found that trust between managers and employees is a defining characteristic of organisations listed in their annual ‘100 Best Companies to Work for' list. Similarly, a study by Alex Edmans, Professor of Finance at the London Business School, found that the top companies to work for increased their share value by 50 per cent.

Regardless of where you sit in the organisational hierarchy, you have a boss (whether a manager, CEO or Board), and your relationship with them impacts your productivity, satisfaction levels, wellbeing and career prospects either positively or negatively.

So it's in everyone's best interests for relationships at work to, well, work.

Why is this easier said than done?

The leadership deficit

Search the business archives and read the business press and you'll find a long litany of organisations — think Tyco, Enron, HIH, James Hardie, WorldCom, Satyam and more — that eventually self-destructed because of toxic leadership and unethical cultures. In Australia, the Financial Services Royal Commission, established in late 2017, uncovered many examples of questionable corporate practices.

We are passing through a period of history the World Economic Forum has dubbed ‘the Fourth Industrial Revolution'. Leaders and bosses are urged to experiment with products, solutions and new ways of working, as well as to manage complex, interconnected systems and multiple needs, all the while motivating employees, peers and other stakeholders, and working long hours and feeling insecure about their own jobs. (Phew!)

It's little wonder that some bosses don't make the grade, or that so many workplaces around the world are neither happy nor healthy.

Here are some more revealing statistics — and be warned, they're more than a little depressing.

Gallup reported in 2017 that 82 per cent of employees find their leaders uninspiring, only 15 per cent of employees are engaged at work, and only one in three employees strongly agree that they trust the leadership of their organisation.

Research in Australia by the University of Wollongong found half of all employees will experience workplace bullying (including verbal abuse, humiliation, social isolation, withholding information and spreading rumours) during their careers. Of those bullied, 40 per cent experienced workplace bullying early in their career and between 5 and 7 per cent had been bullied in the previous six months. Young males with limited social support at work and those who worked in stressful environments were found to be most at risk.

And if that isn't enough …

In 2012, a US survey found 65 per cent of Americans said getting rid of their boss would make them happier than getting a pay rise. A UK study found 40 per cent of survey participants didn't think their boss was good at their job, a third thought they could perform better than their manager, and a fifth said their manager was the single worst thing about their job. Another British study reported similar sentiments, with two-fifths of respondents saying their manager didn't improve morale at work, while one in three felt uncomfortable approaching their boss for help.

Of course, when we have a crap day, that crap day usually follows us home … so our home life suffers, along with our relationships and wellbeing. When the pressure gets too much, people become alienated and numb; they search for crutches, drinking too much, eating badly, turning to substance abuse or other unhealthy behaviours to get them through.

People spend up to a third of their waking hours at work, so if they are working in an environment that impacts their health and wellbeing this has flow-on effects for the wider community.

Today we face huge problems of social isolation and dislocation, which are sadly evidenced by the growing rise of mental health issues and suicide. While toxic workplaces aren't the sole cause, there's no doubt they are a contributory factor.

When employees are stressed out, when leaders are leading badly and when workplace cultures are toxic, everyone suffers.

Good leadership matters to all of us

Now, before you toss this book aside in despair, the good news is it's not all doom and gloom. This dire situation can absolutely be reversed!

In a nutshell, better bosses = happier and more engaged employees = happier and healthier workplaces = better performance (individually and collectively).

When I'm working with groups to improve team dynamics, one of the exercises I often get them to do is reflect on a time when they worked in a high-performing team. In fact, you can try this now.

How many examples can you think of? Often people can recall only one or two times in their professional life, and a handful of people can only think of examples from their personal life, but I've yet to find someone who can't think of any such time at all. That's important here, because it shows we all know what it feels like to work in a great environment.

It's likely you remembered a time that made you feel good. When you were at your best. When you achieved something great or felt valued for your contribution. When you liked your team, you worked well together and you had a great leader.

When you are happy, you get more done. You're more focused and committed to your work, which means fewer mistakes and better outcomes. The work environment is more stable, there's less turnover and sick leave, less conflict and fewer behavioural challenges. When you're happy, you are more creative and effective at solving problems. You are more resilient, better able to bounce back and deal with setbacks and conflict, even when what you are working on is challenging and complex.

For leaders of those teams, life is easier and more enjoyable. Less time is spent cleaning up messes. There is nothing more fulfilling for a leader than working with people to help them achieve their goals and to progress.

With rare exceptions, most people in leadership roles want to be a good leader.

Why would they not?

Eight myths of the modern workplace

Before we get into exploring the dynamics of the work environment, how they impact us and what we can do about it, we first have to bust some assumptions we currently hold about what good leadership is and isn't, and how this affects the entire workplace.

Myth 1: Leadership is a title

We often have a narrow view of what a leader is because we see leaders defined by hierarchical positions and the level of positional power they hold.

I prefer a more...