CHAPTER 1

WE’RE BACK

Wow! What a response is all I can say. It’s been a year and a half since we released Volume I and we honestly didn’t think we were going to get that kind of a response. I feel like a rock star with my fans anxiously awaiting our second album. Believe me; we are going to do our best not to disappoint you!

We thought we covered everything previously. A lot of you had asked some very good questions that we are going to answer here in Volume II. Some of you had some ridiculous questions that we will not be answering. I think that the more ridiculous questions came from tenants disguised as landlords. They must have clicked onto the website, read what the book was about, and then proceeded to blast me with questions like this: “I am also a Section 8 landlord and I don’t agree with the way you treat your tenants! How could you be so mean and why would you eliminate things from your home that could be useful to your tenants?”

Now does that sound like a question from a real landlord? A real jackass for sure, but obviously not a real landlord (I said we had a tremendous response, not all of it was positive). On second thought, I think I will answer some ridiculous questions! The answer to “How could you be so mean?” is RESPECT! I’ve dedicated an entire chapter in this book to “Respect” including why you need it and how to get it. What we have found over the years is that tenants take kindness for weakness. It’s weird but for some reason they take being stern and aggressive with them as a form of respect.

The second and last ridiculous question I will be answering is “Why do you eliminate things that could be useful to your tenant?” Duh! Perhaps I love saving money. Maybe I like watching television on Saturday morning rather than spending the day over at my tenant’s house trying to free up the clogged garbage disposal. There is probably ten thousand ways I could answer this ridiculous question without getting it wrong but, the one answer I like the best – and you should all know it by now is – “You don’t need it to pass inspection!!!”

Let me give you a quick run down of what’s going to be covered here in Volume II. We received thousands and thousands of great questions from other landlords. Not only did we receive questions, we received answers! A lot of landlords told me what they did to get around a certain roadblock and we intend to pass their story and solution along to you. Some landlords had wonderful ideas that we thought were brilliant. Others had some ideas that I had to scratch my head and say, “Is this guy a jerkoff or what?” You won’t be reading any of those stories (although some are rather funny). I won’t waste a minute of your time with stupid ideas from crazy landlords.

Stories, stories, stories!! I got the biggest feedback from some of the stories I told in Volume I. Most of you thought they were hysterical and wanted to hear more and more (I never knew I was such a funny guy). Well guess what? You’re in luck. A lot has happened in a year and a half. We’ve got a few more good stories for ya. Here’s a little taste.

Remember in Volume I when I said I never had to pull my gun? Well, my luck ran out and a situation presented itself. Obviously since you’re reading Volume II, the situation worked out in my favor but, boy oh boy, you wanna talk about scary!

Remember when I talked about becoming friendly with the inspectors? Yeah, well, I got a story about how I became an enemy of one. And just like most of our stories, I’m gonna tell you what we did to come out on top!

“What have we been doing since we sold off our entire portfolio?” This is another question that a lot of you asked. I wish the answer could have been something like: “We hang out on Nick’s yacht during the day, go golfing later in the afternoon, and at night we go out with one of our many young model girlfriends.” Unfortunately, Nick didn’t buy a yacht and we both hate golf, but the rest is true (we wish)!

Yeah, the lure of under priced homes, high rent returns, and guaranteed rent came calling us back! Shortly after the sell-off, we purchased a package of 58 homes from a local Philadelphia landlord. Twenty-one of the homes were rented Section 8 and the rest were private rents. You know that changed in a hurry! They are now all rented Section 8. There’s a new sheriff in town, Mike and Nick! I’ll get further into detail about what we’re doing now and where we intend on going.

ELIMINATION! Ooohhh yeah, we found more shit to eliminate! That’s right, the longer you hang around in this business the more shit bites you in the ass. On the other side of the coin, the more shit bites you in the ass, the more you can eliminate! We thought we had it all figured out. We thought we found everything in the house from the tip of the roof to the basement floor that we could possibly eliminate. We were wrong!

We found some more items on our own and some of you landlords out there dropped us an e-mail on what they eliminate! We’ll give you the reason we eliminate it, we’ll give you the reason they eliminate it.

Products! – There are some new products that we found out there that are cheaper than what we were using and last just as long if not longer. Nick’s always shopping for new quality products and we’ll give you a rundown of what’s in his shopping cart. We’ll tell you the how, when and where of when to use these products.

Organize! – Being and keeping organized is the only way to run your business. You cannot be successful unless you are organized. From day one, Nick and I have been just that. Think we’re the kings of elimination? You should see us when it comes to organization! Hell, our toilets are even organized.

It’s the only way to live and we are going to give you some ideas on how you can be more organized and stay that way. Don’t be that landlord who has to dig through a shoebox with 55 sets of keys in it just to find the set you’re looking for!

Finding properties! – Another question we received a lot of was, “How and where did you guys find all of those cheap properties?” That question was usually followed by, “How can you tell if you’re in a bad neighborhood?”

When that question first came across my computer screen I laughed and thought, “What, is this guy joking? How the hell can you not know if you’re in a bad neighborhood?” Then I received that question again and again. Put me in the middle of the block on an inner city street in Chicago, Detroit, Miami, etc. and I’ll be able to tell you if you’re in a good, bad, or really bad neighborhood! And guess what? I haven’t even been to any of those cities! Then again, I was born in the city and I’m a very street smart guy. I know what to look for, who not to look at, and when to get my ass out of there.

I wasn’t even thinking about a guy who lives in upstate New York who wants to come down into the city and start buying and renting some properties out. We’re also gonna throw in some more “Street Smarts”, tips to help you stay safe.

Since the real estate market started heating up, a lot of you country boys started coming out of the sticks and buying some inner city properties. Also, since the stock market slowed, a lot of you office 9 to 5’ers started purchasing properties and coming into the city on the weekend to work on them.

Nothing wrong with that…I think it’s great! It keeps the housing market growing and rolling. Being in the office or the woods all that time, you might not have a lot of street in ya! You’d better get it quick because if the bum on the corner senses you don’t have it, you’re gonna become a target. With the tips in this chapter, we will eliminate the “Bums Bull’s-eye” from your back.

Duplexes and multi-family units! – The question of, “Do you guys get involved with multi-family units or duplexes?” was another repeated question. I’ll tell you the answer right now is NO, NO WAY! In this chapter we’re gonna tell you several reasons why we don’t.

Rent Increases! – Surprisingly a lot of you out there aren’t getting your rent increases. In this chapter, we’re going to make sure you get ‘em. It’s your right to get an increase in rent every year. The utility companies can increase the water bill or the electric bill every year, the city can increase the taxes whenever they want to, but you can’t increase the rent? That’s bullshit! I’ve heard from landlords who have had the same tenant in their property for 10 or 12 years and still haven’t received a rent increase. Let Section 8 try to pull that on us and they’ll have a full scale war on their hands.

If you don’t fight for it, you ain’t gonna get it! It’s like everything else in life, if you don’t put up a fight, the other guy will think he’s right. We’re gonna show you how to fight that greedy “Tenant Service Rep” for what is rightfully yours. That’s why she’s got the word “Tenant” in front of her title. She’s not there to help you, believe me! Have you ever heard of a “Landlord Service Rep”? Me neither and you never will. That’s why you’ve got to fight for...