Choose Your Own Outcome! (Collection)

Leigh Thompson is a Distinguished Professor of Dispute Resolution & Organizations at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University. She directs the Leading High Impact Teams executive program, the Kellogg Team and Group Research Center, and co-directs the Negotiation Strategies for Managers program. An active scholar and researcher, she has published more than 110 research articles and chapters and has authored 9 books, including: Creative Conspiracy: The New Rules of Breakthrough Collaboration, The Mind and Heart of the Negotiator, Making the Team, Organizational Behavior Today, Creativity and Innovation in Organizational Teams, Shared Knowledge in Organizations, Negotiation: Theory and Research, The Social Psychology of Organizational Behavior, and Confl ict in Organizational Groups. Thompson speaks and conducts workshops on negotiation teamwork, collaboration, and creativity skills for large and small organizations across the globe. ¿ Richard Templar is an astute observer of human behavior and understands what makes the difference between those of us who effortlessly glide toward success and those of us who struggle against the tide. He has distilled these observations into his Rules titles. More than 1.3 million people around the world have enjoyed and now play by Richard Templar’s Rules.

Truth About Negotiation

 

Introduction     vii

Part 1: Negotiation: A 30,000-foot view     1

Truth 1: Negotiation: A natural gift?     3

Truth 2: The magic bullet: Preparation      7

Truth 3: Your industry is unique (and other myths)     11

Truth 4: Win—win, win—lose, and lose—lose negotiations     15

Truth 5: Four sand traps in the golf game of negotiation     19

Truth 6: If you have only one hour to prepare     23

Part 2: The bottom line on bottom lines     27

Truth 7: Identify your BATNA     29

Truth 8: Develop your reservation price     33

Truth 9: It’s alive! Constantly improve your BATNA     37

Truth 10: Don’t reveal your BATNA     41

Truth 11: Don’t lie about your BATNA     45

Truth 12: Signal your BATNA     49

Truth 13: Research the other party’s BATNA      53

Part 3: Black belt negotiation skills     55

Truth 14: Set optimistic but realistic aspirations     57

Truth 15: The power of making the fi rst off er     61

Truth 16: What if the other party makes the fi rst off er?     65

Truth 17: Plan your concessions     69

Truth 18: Be aware of the “even-split” ploy     73

Truth 19: Reveal your interests     77

Truth 20: Negotiate issues simultaneously, not sequentially     81

Truth 21: Logrolling (I scratch your back, you scratch mine)     85

Truth 22: Make multiple off ers of equivalent value simultaneously     89

Truth 23: Postsettlement settlements     93

Truth 24: Contingent agreements     97

Part 4: Psychology     101

Truth 25: The reciprocity principle     103

Truth 26: The reinforcement principle     107

Truth 27: The similarity principle     111

Truth 28: The anchoring principle     115

Truth 29: The framing principle     119

Part 5: People problems (and solutions)     123

Truth 30: Responding to temper tantrums     125

Truth 31: How to negotiate with someone you hate     129

Truth 32: How to negotiate with someone you love     133

Truth 33: Of men, women, and pie-slicing     137

Truth 34: Your reputation     141

Truth 35: Building trust     145

Truth 36: Repairing broken trust     149

Truth 37: Saving face     153

Part 6: I-negotiations and E-negotiations     157

Truth 38: Negotiating on the phone     159

Truth 39: Negotiating via email and the Internet     163

Truth 40: When negotiations shift from relational to highly transactional      167

Truth 41: Negotiating across generations     171

Truth 42: Negotiating with diff erent organizational cultures     175

Truth 43: Negotiating with diff erent demographic cultures     179

Part 7: Negotiation Yoga     183

Truth 44: What’s your sign? (Know your disputing style)     185

Truth 45: Satisfi cing versus optimizing     189

Truth 46: Are you an enlightened negotiator?     193

References     197

Acknowledgments     203

About the Author     204

 

 

How To Get What You Want… Without Having To Ask

 

Introduction     1

PART 1: Be the Kind of Person Who Gets What They Want     4

Know What You Want     6

Know Why You Want It     8

Know How Much You Want It     10

Want What You Get     12

Don’t Be a Fuzzy Thinker     14

Know What It Takes     16

Work Out Who You Need on Your Side     18

Break Big Ambitions into Chunks     20

Set Up Some Milestones     22

Celebrate Every Step     24

Write It All Down     26

Analyze Your Sticking Points     28

Set Your Deadlines     30

Check Out the Back Door     32

Don’t Make Excuses     34

Think Positive     36

Don’t Hang Out with Naysayers     38

Say It Out Loud     40

Believe in Yourself     42

Expect Ups and Downs     44

Enjoy It When You Get It     46

PART 2: Be the Kind of Person People Want to Say Yes To     48

Don’t Fake It—Have Real Confidence     50

Sound Confident     52

Look Confident     54

Learn to Say No     56

Give Them an Alternative     58

Be a Broken Record     60

Be Sure You’re Sorry     62

Say What You Mean     64

Think Before You Speak     66

Be Prepared to Disagree     68

Control Yourself     70

Express Yourself     72

Don’t Use Emotional Blackmail…     74

…and Don’t Give In to It     76

Treat People with Respect     78

Have Plenty of Time     80

Be Likeable     82

Have a Sense of Humor     84

Be Honest     86

Always Say Thank You     88

Don’t Do Too Much     90

Give a Bit Extra     92

Be Generous     94

Praise but Don’t Flatter     96

Be Loyal     98

Don’t Talk Behind People’s Backs     100

Learn to Take Criticism Well     102

Admit Your Mistakes     104

Get to Know People     106

Learn to Listen Properly     108

Know What You’ve Agreed To     110

Pick Up the Signals     112

Sympathize with Other People’s Anger     114

Don’t Respond to Tactical Anger     116

Give Other People Results     118

Be Part of Your Organization     120

Work Hard     122

Work Right     124

Be Worth It     126

PART 3: Help Them to Say Yes     128

Make Sure You’re Getting Through to Them     130

And Make Sure They’re Getting Through to You     132

Think About Why They’d Say No     134

Show You Understand     136

Be Objective     138

Give Them an Excuse to Make an Exception     140

Solve Their Problems     142

Read the Clues     144

Learn What Gets Them Going     146

Use the Right Words     148

Get the Timing Right     150

Tell Them What You Want Without Asking     152

Don’t Keep Dropping Hints     154

Make It Hypothetical     156

Ask Questions     158

Ask for Advice Instead of a Job     160

Get Someone to Do the Asking for You     162

Tell Them You Need Them     164

Don’t Rush Them     166

Give Them What They Want     168

Make Them Think It Was Their Idea     170

Discourage Their Bad Ideas     172

Find Out What It Will Take     174

Get a Team Behind You     176

PART 4: And If You Really Do Have to Ask…     178

Be Clear What You’re Asking     180

Pick Your Moment     182

Make a Date     184

Know When to Put It Off     186

Keep to the Script     188

Rehearse It     190

Rehearse Their Answer     192

Don’t Go On About It     194

Get the Essentials on Paper     196

Have a Bottom Line     198

Ask for More Than You Want     200

Don’t Make Empty Threats     202

Think About It     204

Put the Decision in Writing     206

Be Ready to Be Decisive     208

Don’t Give Up     210