Why Do I Have To?

Laurie Leventhal Belfer is a practicing clinical psychologist. She is the founder and director of The Friends Program, a therapeutic group program for young children with Asperger's Disorder and their families. She is also a member of the Adjunct Clinical Faculty in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, The Division of Child Psychiatry, Stanford University. She co-authored "Asperger's Syndrome in Young Children, A Developmental Guide for Parents and Professionals", also published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. Luisa Montaini-Klovdahl is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice who is privileged to work with children and their families. She has worked with Laurie in The Friends Program for nearly a decade.

Preface. Rules that can be frustrating at home: Why do I have to: Go to school before the show that I am watching is over? Wear shoes and a jacket when I go outside? Eat when I am not hungry? Rest when I am not tired? Go to the bathroom when I do not need to go? Share toys if I am still using them? Turn off the television or computer before my show or game is over? Stop talking about things that I like? Rules that may be frustrating about friends: Why do I have to: Play with my play date when I would rather play by myself? Say thank-you for a present that I do not like? Go to a friend's house when I would rather stay home? Let other kids play a game the "wrong" way? Apologize to other children for hurting them when they hurt me first? Listen to a friend talk about something that I do not find interesting? Rules that may be frustrating at school: Why do I have to: Listen to a story that I already know? Let my hands get dirty? Say hello with words instead of giving a friend a big hug or slap on the back? Only talk about what the teacher asked about? Tell my friends that I am no longer playing the game when they can see for themselves? Ask my teacher if I can leave the room? Sit in a chair to do my work when I work better standing up? Be quiet when I am working? Explain to an adult why I got into a fight when they should know? Do homework after I have been working in school all day? Appendix: Goal Chart.