Cynical (eBook)

1.
The Meaning

We hear it all the time: “I’m just being cynical.” People love to use the term. But what does that mean? What does it mean to be cynical? An academic might answer the question by taking you to Ancient Greece and the intellectual pursuits of Diogenes, the man generally known for spreading the Cynic philosophy. That answer certainly has its place in the halls of academia. But for this book, that approach is relatively inapplicable. Since its beginnings, cynicism has largely evolved from a philosophical practice to a modern-day state of mind. Today’s cynicism is wholly separate from its ancient counterpart. Therefore, rather than checking out volumes of Greek philosophy at your local library, the best way to answer the question “what is cynicism” is to reach for a single book, one that is likely in your home right now.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines twenty-first century cynicism as having an attitude that is “contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives.”1 This simple definition becomes the foundation for understanding the new American mindset. At its core, cynicism is about how we see and treat other people, even humankind altogether. It is a viewpoint, a character, a feeling, an attitude, a sentiment, a position, a posture, a mindset we adopt when facing situations, approaching issues, or engaging with others today.

A mindset is extremely important—and powerful. It defines our thinking, guides our behavior, and largely determines success or failure. Any professional athlete or Olympian will testify to the importance of maintaining a focused and positive mindset. The body and mind are inextricably linked. Loss of the mental element leads to decreased performance. When an athlete loses the right mindset before the big competition, they have essentially lost “the edge,” which may lead to another year off the podium. Mindsets are not simply for athletes. We all operate within a mindset, and it is vital that mindset remains healthy, focused, positive, and controlled. When we lose the mindset, we, too, have lost the edge and set ourselves up for missed opportunities and/or failure of some kind. That’s what makes this book so important. In America (and beyond) today, we have largely adopted a cynical mindset, a mental posture that is rooted—deeply rooted—in a contemptuous distrust of the person (or people) categorized as on “the other side” of any given issue.

This is our daily existence. Our collective lives are largely defined by it. It’s everywhere. Social media. Cable news outlets. Debates gone wild. Articles. Books. Memes. Videos. Advertisements. The cynical mindset is all around us. America is swimming in it.

From the definition, two words are crucial to understanding America’s cynical mindset. Let’s take them one at a time.

Distrust

First, distrust. A lack of trust or confidence. Why? There are many possible reasons. Perhaps your distrust is silently based on the person’s race or ethnicity. They may belong to a particular social, political, or religious group you dislike. Your distrust may even transcend specific people groups, representing a fundamental distrust in all of humanity. Or perhaps your distrust is limited only to the person you see when looking in the mirror (i.e., you). Regardless, you have an intense feeling of distrust. You just don’t trust their motives. You don’t trust them.

Let me emphasize one important thing up front. For the cynical mindset, this intense feeling of distrust is felt from the beginning, when going into an exchange rather than at some point while the conversation is taking place or once the interaction has concluded. Motives are inherently assumed to be malign from the outset. The person hasn’t specifically done anything to you. You may not even know them. You only know of them, likely relying on a very small and narrow set of facts, cues, or presumptions that leads you to a certain, cynical conclusion. “I distrust you simply because of who you are or (more often) who I perceive you to be.” Nothing more is needed. Tragically, nothing more is attempted.

At its core, such distrust is a judgment call. Prejudgment. In other words, it’s prejudice. Reasonable people may be skeptical when approaching a particular exchange, but it is important to let that exchange play out by adopting a “we’ll see how this goes” mentality. Modern-day cynicism, however, changes the dynamic, moving away from “we’ll see how this goes” and embracing a mindset that says, “I know exactly how this will go, and it’s not going to be pretty.”

As a lawyer, I am reminded of the criminal in the courtroom. In any criminal trial, an accused person walks into court innocent of all charges. They may only be found otherwise after competent evidence proves their guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. Since evidence is yet to be presented at the beginning of a trial, the person enters the courtroom as an innocent human being.

Not so with the cynical mindset. Individuals with opposing viewpoints in America today are not afforded the same opportunity as the criminal in the courtroom. There is no presumption of innocence when considering one’s ideas, motives, or actions. There is no presentation of evidence, no chance to speak, no ability to confront or engage in productive argument. Doing so only wastes precious time. No further evidence is required. Nothing more is needed. With the new American mindset, opponents walk into the metaphorical courtroom guilty and condemned.

Contempt

Next, “contempt.” Not simply distrust … contemptuous distrust. As if distrust wasn’t bad enough, modern-day cynicism requires more. It’s not just that we distrust those with whom we disagree. We despise. We disrespect. We revile. It is the salt poured into the wound, the extra kick when an individual is already on the ground. Contempt, not for the idea, but for the individual behind the idea. Contempt for the person or people.

What makes contempt so dangerous? It is not the behavior itself; it is the mindset driving the behavior that makes contempt what it is. Unprovoked distrust equals prejudice. Contempt goes even further by adding to this equation a level of despise and/or superiority. A contemptuous person believes they are somehow better than the other. We create a self-imposed hierarchy and place ourselves at the top, erroneously justifying in our minds “righteous” feelings of utter contempt for those beneath us.

Consider this in the context of relationships. In his book, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, Malcolm Gladwell discussed Dr. John Gottman’s work on the “Four Horsemen,” that is, the four most destructive behaviors that lead to failed relationships.2 Of the four behaviors (i.e., criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt), contempt is considered the worst and most successful predictor of divorce in married couples. As stated by Gottman, “Contempt, simply put, says, ‘I’m better than you. And you are lesser than me.’”3 Contempt is not merely one’s judgment of another person; it is judgment about ourselves. You judge that you are better than the other person. You are more righteous, superior. And so often, we then exploit this highly flawed conclusion to justify treating the others however we’d like.

Contemptuous behavior is all around us. We find it in political debates, cable news exchanges, and daily op-ed articles. It’s the eye-roll while the other person is speaking, the headshake, the underhanded comment, the flat insult. Acts of contempt clearly communicate to those listening, reading, or watching that one individual considers themselves superior to the other. Such beliefs and behaviors are highly destructive and cut far deeper than the act or word itself.

There are many possible explanations for why one may feel superior to another. It could be economic or social. A person raised in a wealthy home may tend to look down on the individual who grew up on the other side of the tracks, or vice versa. Some may view the thoughts and behaviors of a person who lives paycheck-to-paycheck as somehow less valuable, less important, or less worthy of consideration. The same may be said of the person who has lived their entire life in the ivory tower, never getting their hands dirty or experiencing the real world. One’s position on the social hierarchy may silently shape the subconscious, planting seeds in our minds that risk one day growing into noxious weeds of contempt.

Perhaps contempt is based on one’s education or lack thereof. Academic elites are prone to place too much emphasis on book smarts while underestimating the value of lessons learned on the street. The opposite may also be true.

Perhaps it’s moral or religious. You may think, “How dare a person believe that! My way is right, and they are wrong.” Do not misunderstand me, I am not suggesting that having deeply held religious or moral beliefs is somehow wrong. It is only when we justify contempt for others using morals or beliefs that we become the problem.

Contempt removes the equal footing between two people in any exchange. Cynical people often find a way to gain superiority over another, then use it to justify behavior that demeans—or devalues—the other. For the cynical person, the individual on the other side of the exchange is not only wrong, they are stupid. Idiots! Morons! Tragically, such...