Parent Activities and Suggestions

Part One: Self-Awareness

My Personality

• Use labels in a positive way as you discuss personality traits. “You certainly are creative to be able to make/do/see/combine… .” “I love how you are such a people person! It's fun to introduce you to my friends!”
• Ask your child to describe his or her personality. What traits are most outstanding in his or her view?
• Everyone gets angry or fearful at times. Anger management is often a big part of the school counselor's lessons. Ask for help if this is available in your area.
• Some children desperately need routine to make it through the day. Talk with your child about any changes that might be occurring that day that would throw off the schedule. Prepare your child. Something new could be a pleasant surprise if he or she is ready for it.
• Finishing a task can be an ongoing battle. When given a job, the student could talk about what the finished product or event will be. All the effort of completing homework is lost if the student never turns it in.

My Character

• Emphasize that a child's character is more important than anything else that he or she will ever develop. Being a good person is what really counts.
• Give your child opportunities to take on responsibility around the house. After giving an assignment or chore, act as though you expect him or her to do it; don't keep nagging.
• Talk about what values you think are important. Share experiences that have helped shape your values.
• Praise your child when you catch him or her doing something thoughtful or kind for others.
• When you introduce your child to others, use the opportunity to add a positive comment about your child.
• Practice acts of kindness all of the time. Invite your child to be a part of this.

Uniquely Me

• Share with your child any details that are appropriate about his or her birth. A birthday is a special day to every individual, although it can be fun to see what celebrities also share that birthday. If your child has a diagnosed disability, talk about what that means as far as expectations for his or her future. Even though he may have a disability, he still has the ability and the expectation to go as far as he can to succeed in life. If appropriate, talk about the causes of a disability.
• Make it a family project to participate in something that is of interest to your particular ethnic background—Irish dancing? French cooking?
• Use a globe to locate countries of origin. Where did your grandparents come from?

Personal Life Choices

• You, of course, are a very important role model to your child. If you are trying to quit smoking, for example, share your decision with your child and explain why.
• Decisions about drinking, especially drinking and driving, can be some of the most crucial decisions your teen makes. Give your child a way out if confronted with a situation in which she needs a ride home. Let your child know that you'd much rather get a call for a ride home than have her get into a car with an impaired driver.
• Encourage your child to think and talk about future events such as moving out or working part-time. This can be scary—but it can also be exciting as you plan future independence together.

Part Two: People Skills

Relating to Others

• Point out good service (or poor service) as you interact with others around you. Compliment a server for refilling your drinks. Notice a cashier who is efficient. Let your child observe you modeling positive interaction with others.
• Get to know your neighbors. Even if it's just a friendly “hello,” encourage your child to get involved in the neighborhood. Perhaps he or she can help with a neighborly errand.
• Join in a community party, fund-raiser, or volunteer organization. Share a positive focus as a family and as a community.

Friendship Skills

• Encourage your child to host a party. It can be a simple get-together to play games or watch a movie or an elaborate themed event. Video games are popular, but try pulling out a card game, board game, or building something and see what happens.
• Find out who your child's friends are. Invite them over and get to know them.

Being Part of a Family

• Attend or plan a family reunion.
• Get a family photograph taken. Frame it and display it. On the back, write the names of the people, the date, and where you were.
• Give your child a sense of family history by going through old family photo albums. Show your child any memorabilia that was important to someone in your family.
• Spend an evening watching family videos. There will be lots of laughter, embarrassing moments, and good memories.
• Have family meetings on a regular basis. Make this a time for family members to share their concerns. This may be a good time to review lists of chores, talk about upcoming family projects or vacations, or make resolutions to improve problem situations.
• Don't hesitate to attend parenting workshops or family groups or use other community resources if your family is going through a divorce or if there are problems with stepparents. This is more common than you may realize. There are lots of support groups for families who have a disabled member.
• Stay in touch with the school counselor or an administrator who may be the person most likely to work with your child if there are family problems that show up at school.
• Eat a meal together on a regular basis. Make it a point to do something together as a family. No one can miss, no excuses. This is a priority. Share planning a menu, preparing the meal, and of course, clean up!

Communication Skills

• Resist the urge to speak for your child in social situations. Instead of telling about your child's accomplishments or activities, encourage him or her to talk (prompting is fine).
• Watch a movie or TV show together and discuss it afterward.
• Ask your child's opinions about things that are happening. Don't jump in too quickly to judge or overrule your child's opinion. Listen.
• Ask your child to give directions for how to do something or how to get somewhere. He or she will learn that directions need to be clear and sequential or it won't make any sense.
• If your child is moody or unusually quiet, ask if he or she can put the feelings into words. Model how sometimes you feel worried, tense, confused, and so on.
• Remind your child that moods change. Just because he or she is feeling sad or angry right now, that is not going to be the case forever. That is what a mood is—something that lasts for a while and then will change.

Part Three: Academic and School Skills

Reading Skills

• Take weekly trips to the library or bookstore to bring reading materials into your home. Second-hand bookstores are a great source for inexpensive books.
• Read at home. Model how important it is to read for pleasure. Laugh out loud—your child will want to know what's so funny in the book.
• If your child is having problems with reading, look for a peer tutor who may be interested in helping you out. Depending on the age of your child and the extent of the problems, you may want to contact your child's school or teacher to get some ideas.
• Organize a book club or ask your school's reading teacher for ideas. Using a popular book can stimulate interest in reading, especially when group members convey enthusiasm and ask other's opinions.
• Order your child a subscription to a magazine that he or she enjoys.

Writing Skills

• Keep lists around your house of things that are purchased on a regular basis, such as food items, cleaning supplies, and the like. Ask your child to add what is needed to each list by writing it down.
• If your family takes a trip or participates in a special event, have your child help record impressions and details about the event. You might want to remember who attended a family reunion, comments about a rock concert, anecdotes from a trip, humorous memories or predictions, and so on.
• Your child might be interested in starting a blog—an online journal. He or she may not want you to read everything that is on it, but show an interest, and if you're allowed to read it, add positive comments and don't insist on perfect spelling or grammar.

Math Skills

• Set aside ten to fifteen minutes each evening to focus on one particular math skill, such as reviewing math facts with flash cards, drawing pictures to go with a story problem, or helping set up an educational computer game that addresses a skill.
• When reviewing math homework, ask your child to tell you the specific directions and steps for an assignment. The procedures for math problems may be a little different now from when you were in school.
• Use your phone's calculator at the grocery store and have your child keep a running tab or estimate of how much you are spending.
• Graphs and charts are everywhere—from the news websites to the gas station to your electric bill. As you find them on everyday occasions, point out the purpose of the graph or chart and see if your child can identify the information.
• Help your child...