Becoming Orgasmic

Julia R. Heiman, Ph.D., is an associate professor at the University of Washington Medical School. Joseph LoPiccolo, Ph.D., is professor and chairman of the psychology department at the University of Missouri. Both have extensive experience in treating sexual and marital problems.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

1 Getting Involved

Who can benefit from this book?

Fears and hopes you might have.

You are not alone.

If you have a partner, how to decide what to do during your sexual growth.

Ways to feel encouraged as you progress through the chapters.

2 Getting to Know Yourself

The influence of early experiences on your attitudes toward sex.

Your personal sex history and putting it in perspective.
Abusive incidents that may have taken place.

Dealing with concerns about your body.

Where you get standards for appreciating yourself physically.

Visual exploration of your genitals.

Coming to terms with negative feelings and fostering positive feelings about your genitals.

Myths and misconceptions about women's sexuality.

3 Exploration Through Touch

Exploring the textures of your entire body.

Dealing with uncomfortable feelings.

Relaxation exercises.

The G-spot and you.

Strengthening your vaginal muscles.

4 Touching for Pleasure: Discovery

Claiming your body as your own.

A new way to look at masturbation.

What does giving yourself pleasure mean to you?

Exploring your body for feelings of pleasure.

Some ideas to try.

Cognitive therapy techniques.

Putting pressure on yourself, and the tendency to become a spectator.

5 Touching for Pleasure: Focusing

Continuing exploration through touch.

Difficulties you might experience.

Ways to focus and increase your arousal and pleasure, including body work and sensate focus.

Exploring erotic literature and fantasy, and concerns you may have about them.

6 Going Further

Problems you may be having.

Issues that influence change.

The importance of appreciating and valuing who you are.

Dealing with conflicted feelings about changing.

Women's physical responses during the sexual response cycle.

Influences on sexual response, including aging and contraception.

Fears about orgasm.

Role-play orgasm.

Ways to increase arousal and trigger orgasm.

7 Using a Vibrator: A Little Technology

Taking a new look at vibrators.

Different types of vibrators and how to find the right one for you.

Exploring your body.

Concerns about excessive use of or attachment to the vibrator.

8 Being Female, Being Sexual: Special Issues of the Body

The menstrual cycle as it begins and ends your reproductive years.

Problems with menstruation, including premenstrual syndrome and amenorrhea.

Sexual health and response throughout the life cycle.

Your body during and after pregnancy.

Ways to maintain gynecological health.

Breast exams and doctor visits -- some suggestions.

9 Sharing Self-Discoveries with Your Partner

Expectations and apprehensions about sharing your changes with your partner.

Ways of sharing self-pleasuring with your partner.

Sexual desire problems -- approaches to helping.

Concerns from the woman's point of view.

Concerns from the man's point of view.

Learning new aspects of initiating and refusing sex.

10 Pleasuring Each Other

The importance of trust and communication in pleasuring each other.

Ways to avoid putting pressure on yourself and your partner.

Using verbal and nonverbal communication during sexual interactions.

How to encourage and support each other.

Positions for pleasuring.

Enjoying nonintercourse forms of lovemaking.

Becoming less inhibited in front of your partner.

Dealing with negative feelings about male genitals.

Vibrators as part of lovemaking.

Using fantasies with a partner.

11 Intercourse: Another Form of Mutual Pleasure

Feelings about intercourse and other forms of sexual affection.

Seeing intercourse as part of, rather than the pinnacle of, sexual expression.

Appreciation as a key to encouraging change.

Genital-size concerns.

Advantages and disadvantages of different positions for intercourse.

Coital orgasm -- is it worth it?

New approaches to try if coital orgasm is important.

12 Sex in the Modern World: Real-Life Relationship Issues

Cultural pressures on women to be more than they are.

Cultural pressures on men to change.

How much have social expectations about sex and relationships changed?

Recovering from rape or incest.

Choosing a partner in an AIDS age.

Personal values, religion, and sexual relationships.

Update on sexual frequencies and changes in stable relationships.

13 Enhancement

Guidelines for enhancing your sexuality.

Techniques for oral-genital and anal lovemaking.

Aphrodisiacs.

Ways to delay ejaculation.

14 What Next?

Alternatives to consider if you are still dissatisfied.

Locating and choosing the best therapist for you.

Note to Professionals

A Selected Annotated Bibliography

Index