CHAPTER 1. Why Negotiating Online Is Different than in the Offline World

Many virtual negotiators report a great deal of exhaustion. Participating in several virtual meetings throughout the day means sitting at a desk for hours on end. In the evening, your back hurts, your neck and throat are tense, your eyes burn, and your head is empty. This phenomenon can be observed all over the world and even has a name: Zoom Fatigue. Of course, Zoom Fatigue also occurs in MS Teams, Google Meet, Webex, and Skype for Business. And the symptoms are always the same. Working remotely for long periods of time is tiring and stressful. However, there is a lot riding on the results that are achieved in business meetings. And of course, better results are achieved when virtual negotiators are not drained and depleted. Let’s take a closer look at what exactly the stressors are and how virtual negotiators can deal with them professionally without falling victim to Zoom Fatigue.

We are exhausted: Too many stimuli, all at the same time

Who hasn’t experienced total overload before? Too many windows are open, too many tasks popping up, too many things to do, and then your technology breaks down. One minute it was working and now suddenly nothing works. There’s no use in clicking or restarting. The technology has gone on strike. By the time we finally get the problem under control, sometimes without knowing exactly how we did it, the meeting has long since begun. We stutter through an apology and are stressed even before we start negotiating.

The more negotiators participating in a session, the more thumbnails we see on our screen. Since the order of display is based on the sequence of log-ins, our own team’s thumbnails are mixed with the other party’s negotiating team. At first glance, it’s not possible to make a clear distinction of the negotiating parties.

We don’t even know where to turn our attention first: We’ve got the camera on, while the other person has their camera off. At the same time, we often work with multiple electronic devices. We’re using a second monitor to simultaneously communicate with our colleagues via WhatsApp. Desperation can easily set in at that point. In order to maintain control and get off successfully despite a potentially bumpy start, we have to put a stop to excessive demands. But how?

It is important to first reassure yourself: A little stress won’t hurt and is even normal. It pushes negotiators, making them feel activated, strong, and focused. Being challenged is helpful in moving a negotiation forward. But when we reach the breaking point, then disorientation takes the helm, and overwhelm (notice the last four letters of that word) becomes too much. We conduct an internal assessment of how much strength, energy, and attention we have. We compare this to the current demands. When we then subjectively feel that we’re no longer up to the task and lack sufficient resources to cope, we become overwhelmed, and our body reacts. We become increasingly nervous, jittery, and simultaneously become aware of our behavior. This can contribute to a spiral of stress. The more stressed our body is, the worse we are at handling complex cognitive processes. Stress serves as an alarm function. The release of cortisol and adrenaline has always prepared us for fight or flight. However, running away or attacking doesn’t help us at our desks, and thoughts like “I can’t handle this” or “The negotiation is going to fail before it even begins” are not helpful. The more stressed negotiators are, the less focused they are, and the fewer creative problem-solving ideas they come up with. Therefore, it is an absolute necessity to get out of this stressed state as quickly as possible and act constructively rather than demeaning. So, what can online negotiators do?

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. BEST PRACTICE

We get distracted: Another incoming email here, another phone call there

People are naturally curious beings. It’s only natural that we frequently tend to drift off. The surroundings of our negotiation partners are highly interesting. We try to decipher the titles in our colleague’s well-stocked bookshelf. We wave to the cute daughter of a supplier and wonder about the boss’s chubby cat that is walking through the frame. The visual stimuli in online negotiations are diverse. After every moment of distraction, our brain needs time and energy to refocus on the actual topic at hand and return to the original level of concentration. In self-management, this is referred to as the so-called “Saw Blade Effect.” In addition, we have underlying thoughts: Negotiators often simultaneously think about the future and the past, about possibilities and impossibilities, about tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, and about yesterday and the day before yesterday.

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. BEST PRACTICE

We are constantly online: There’s barely any time to catch our breath

What do you do when you’re planning a long road trip? You start with a full tank, check the coolant, measure the tire pressure, and top up the windshield wiper fluid. You should approach video conferences in a similar way. It’s important to be fully present and energized. Face-to-face meetings provide us with breaks as we move between meeting rooms, allowing us to catch our breath. Even brief moments of disengagement allow for small mental breaks that refresh us. However, online, in the worst case, one meeting follows the next. One begins right on the hour, while the next one starts at the top of the next hour, and this cycle continues for several hours. Sometimes, there’s barely even a moment to grab another coffee or take a short restroom break between calls. How can we, in such a setting, bring certain topics to a conclusion, engage with new partners and their concerns, and make smart contributions in a focused way?

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. BEST PRACTICE

We get lost in the complexity and disengage

There’s nothing to stop you from keeping several balls in the air. But keeping too many balls in the air is difficult for even the most experienced of jugglers. Trying to manage too many demanding topics during an online negotiation consumes a great deal of mental energy and often leads to us mentally disengaging much earlier than in faceto-face negotiations. Trying to manage too many mental tasks and operations simultaneously and in parallel is even more likely to fail online than in face-to-face negotiations. The myth that multitasking is a superpower still persists. But what should take priority among your many tasks?

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. BEST PRACTICE