THRIVE IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY (eBook)

CHAPTER 1

How Do You View Adversity When It First Occurs?

“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we can transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult. Because once it’s accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.” – Dr. Scott Peck

Adjust Your Perception: Accept That Adversity Is a Constant

The above quote by Dr. Scott Peck is one of my all-time favorites. When I first read it, it affected me immensely – it made such sense! It helped me relate back to many times when I, as Peck describes it, transcended the difficulties that life presented. These times, when I was able to overcome obstacles, enabled me to become the person I am today.

We all must realize that adversity, difficulties, and obstacles are a part of life; we need to accept this reality. Our minds will function more positively if we simply accept that life may not be fair, may not go the way we desire, and is filled with many unexpected obstacles. This acceptance is key, as it helps us stay in a rational state of mind – and only when we are thinking rationally can we start seeing the opportunities in adversity.

Say It with Me: Emotional Reponses to Adversity Are Not Productive

In my book In Defense of Adversity, I speak about two parts of our brain – the limbic system and the cortex – and how being able to access the rational thinking brain can help us transcend life’s difficulties. The limbic system is known as our emotional brain and does not grow, transform, or evolve over time. When we are functioning in our limbic system our response to adversity is emotional: freeze, flight, fight, or some combination of the three.

For me, when I am in a non-productive emotional state, I tend to be a freezer or a fighter. I may respond initially by shutting down, internalizing things. Then, if the intensity of the emotion strengthens, it may change into fight. Neither of these responses is productive, so it is imperative that I don’t allow myself to fall into that emotional state in the first place.

Simply put, if we respond to difficulties via freeze, flight, or fight we cannot deal with the obstacle effectively. So, the key to dealing with adversity is to view it rationally, by accessing the cortex part of our brain.

Rational Responses to Adversity Are Productive Responses

The cortex is known as our rational brain and unlike the limbic system, it does grow, transform, and evolve over time. Through our life experiences – the good, and especially the bad – we can learn valuable lessons for our self-development. How many of us would say our greatest lessons learned were during some of our most difficult times? A lot!

Essentially, learning from life events helps build the cortex muscle and prepare us to properly handle future events. When those adverse events happen, we can function mostly in our cortex so our responses can be more be rational, reasonable, and logical. When we are functioning in the cortex we can solve problems, make wise decisions, say the right things, resolve conflict, and think creatively. And the cortex “muscle” continues to grow through all our life experiences. Every day, and with every event in our lives, we are strengthening our cortex muscle, thus strengthening our ability to respond to all life’s circumstances rationally.

Acceptance is Crucial

The point of accepting that adversity is a part of life is that this acceptance then allows us to stay rational when difficult things manifest in our lives. If we don’t accept that difficulties are normal, then when they happen we can easily get frustrated and fall into a non-productive emotional state.

The first Sage Insights question provides tips into how these successful people view adversity. All of them clearly accept that adversity is a part of life, and through their insights they provide you with ideas so you can better accept the obstacles life throws in your way.

Let’s begin laying the foundation for successfully empowering you to grow, transform, and evolve into the person you were meant to become with Sage Insights.

The following is a list of Sage Insight responses to the question of “How do you view adversity when it first occurs?”

1. I view adversity as an opportunity to learn. Realizing there is usually a solution to every challenge in life. I face them one at a time and work through them to create a positive outcome.
2. I love a challenge and with all challenges, there are unexpected setbacks. This is also part of the process. As challenges, I love new problems. Each problem is met with a can-do attitude. My initial thoughts are how to deal with the problem, not why something cannot be done. In fact, dwelling on all the potential issues instead of solutions actually upsets me when I see others pointing out all the reasons something cannot be done.
3. After initial frustration I look at them as challenges. They are ways for me to discover the best in myself in order to overcome them, to win.
4. Adversity is an opportunity to get myself & my player’s focus on our ultimate goal to win the next thing that is in our way!
5. Initial reaction is frustration and disappointment. However, over time I let the problem “roll off my back” and work on moving forward with a solution.
6. Adversity and roadblocks are part of life - they teach us invaluable lessons that make us better, stronger as we persevere to overcome and carry on, hopefully as a better, ever more humble person and leader. Immediate reaction is to step back, reassess, listen, reflect and double down to strive and overcome.
7. When adversity happens the number one thing I try to do is face the brutal truth of the problem. I try to take out the emotion and start the process of solving the problem.
8. I view adversity as a way to develop and grow so the next occasion will be easier or an opportunity to overcome faster. My immediate reaction is to step back and assess the situation; plan on how to handle including marshaling resources and then handle the situation as swiftly as possible.
9. I view adversity, difficulties, and roadblocks as temporary setbacks that are keeping me from where I want to go. Any worthy cause is going to come with a series of difficulties. If you understand that before you begin it allows you to more easily handle setbacks. My immediate reaction usually varies between anger and disappointment but quickly transitions to “what needs to be done to overcome the problem?” Once the true problem is diagnosed I put a plan together in order to overcome it. After the plan is in place I usually find that any concern or anxiety disappears and is replaced with a faith and excitement to overcome.
10. I normally view adversity as an opportunity. It is an opportunity to improve something in my life whether it be a business process, relationship, ideology, goals, etc. My immediate reaction is to assess the situation that is causing the adversity, determine if the adversity that is causing this situation is a real roadblock or not, then develop a strategy to overcome the roadblock. Once the strategy is implemented I’ll adjust the tactics I’ve used so that this issue is either gone forever or I can see it quicker in the future.
11. My first reaction is to stay positive, try to remember without adversity there is no room for growth. I face these obstacles head on, preparing a plan and sticking to it.
12. My reaction has depended on my level of self-confidence at the time of the occurrence. In the times of my highest self-confidence, I immediately formulate a plan to overcome the obstacle and set ideal, realistic, and acceptable timelines and outcomes for overcoming the roadblock. In moments of weakness, I have known myself to lose clarity of my ultimate goal and become depressed about the onset of unexpected adversity. Once I have regained perspective on the long-term goal or step away temporarily from the situation, a detailed plan is usually executed with determination.
13. Adversity is inevitable. When I face adversity, I deal with it immediately. I think to delay addressing a roadblock will only escalate the issues. I have learned to demonstrate resilience to adversity by developing mental flexibility. Being open minded on creating solutions. Not dwelling on difficulties too long and falling into the trap of paralysis by analysis. A key is putting adversity into perspective for what it is, dealing with it immediately is the recipe for success.
14. Adversity is a gift as it challenges me to put all that I have learned to work, finding solutions, executing those solutions, and eventually celebrating the success when I overcome the adverse situation. My immediate reaction to adversity is to stop, breathe, think, and then formulate a plan of attack. The best way to move adverse situation out of my way is to take them on, head on, enlisting the assistance of others when appropriate.
15. I think the biggest thing with adversity, roadblocks etc. is that people most...