JANUARY 1

I CHOOSE YOU

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit.”

JOHN 15:16 NIV

When you said your vows at your wedding ceremony, you may not have understood the significance of what you were saying. You probably had no idea what you were signing up for. At the time, the choice may have seemed easy or even fun, but when your journey carries you into difficult situations, choosing your spouse can become the test of a lifetime.

You have chosen to be committed to someone for life. You will be challenged and invited to hold to that choice again and again. Today, as you focus on your relationship with your spouse, speak these words of devotion to each other: “I choose you.”

Jesus, please help us to choose each other each day through all the challenges and tests. We want to bear good fruit as we choose love in our relationship.

How can you make the foundation of your relationship with your spouse an “I choose you” relationship?

JANUARY 2

VERBAL REMINDER

I will not be negligent to remind you always of these things, though you know and are established in the present truth.

2 PETER 1:12 NKJV

It is good to remind yourself of the choice you made on your wedding day. When you confirm your desire to stick with that choice, you help ease anxiety and establish instead the comfort, affection, and security necessary to remain connected. You show your spouse that you are continuing to choose them even when things are rough.

It is normal to wrestle with the commitment to that choice. You won’t always get it right, but a constant verbal reminder will help you hold fast to each other and keep you accountable before one another and before God. It ultimately teaches you how to keep your love on.

Heavenly Father, we choose to be accountable to You with our choices. We want to lessen the anxiety in our relationship and be a source of comfort and affection for each other. Help us to stay committed to our choice of love.

What can you do to remind your spouse of your choice today?

JANUARY 3

HIS CHOICE

God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

ROMANS 5:8 NLT

The foundation of true, lasting relationships is the commitment to choose love. This is how God has drawn you into relationship with Himself. He chose you in the most difficult of circumstances—while you were still in sin, when you were His enemy.

God’s side of the relationship does not depend upon your choice, but entirely upon His. You have to learn how to build your relationship with Him and others upon the foundation of your choice. You can’t just love each other when it is easy. You choose to love through the challenges.

God, thank You for showing us the depth of Your love when You sent Your Son to die for us. You chose to love us when we were still sinners. Help us to love each other even when we are struggling in our relationship.

How can you build your relationship with God and with your spouse on the foundation of your choice?

JANUARY 4

BACKWARDS

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

ROMANS 12:10 NIV

You are headed for trouble if you try to build your relationship on a “you chose me” basis. It is natural instinct to like people who like you and to choose people who choose you. But if all your relationships are based solely on your natural impulse to return liking for liking, you will have problems. What happens when you no longer like someone?

Liking is conditional, and it changes. If the condition for your relationship is “You chose me” instead of “I choose you,” the relationship is doomed to change and will probably collapse as soon as the liking goes away. Make it your mission to continue to choose each other, so that when liking is lacking, your relationship remains intact.

Jesus, Your devotion to us is unmatched. Help us continue to choose each other and honor each other even when we are finding it difficult to like each other. Show us how to draw from Your example of devoted love.

How can you turn your relationship from “you chose me” to “I choose you” today?

JANUARY 5

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 CORINTHIANS 13:7 NIV

A healthy, lasting relationship is built between two people who choose each other and take full responsibility for that choice. At the altar, you took responsibility for your part in the relationship. You committed to loving your spouse for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, as long as you live. You didn’t stand and proclaim what your spouse would do for you.

Your choice for each other is based on who you are, what you want, and what you are committed to doing. Take responsibility today to love, to serve, to protect, and to be faithful to each other no matter what.

God, always seems like an impossible word. Only Your love can always protect, trust, hope, and persevere. Help us to focus on ourselves and not on our spouses as we take individual responsibility for loving like You love.

What does taking responsibility in your choice to love your spouse look like to you?

JANUARY 6

BECOMING POWERFUL

We are each responsible for our own conduct.

GALATIANS 6:5 NLT

In order to be able to make and keep commitments to enduring, intimate relationships, you need to be powerful. Powerful people take responsibility for their lives. Were you taught how to be responsible for your choices? A lot of people weren’t. They don’t know that they can be powerful, or even that they should be.

To build healthy relationships with your spouse and others, you have to become powerful. You need to choose who you want to be with, what you are going to pursue in life, and how you are going to go after it. And you need to take responsibility for each of those decisions when they are made.

God, show us what it means to be powerful in our relationship with each other. We need You to give us wisdom and strength to make decisions that are honoring to You and to our relationship.

How can you become more powerful in your relationships?

JANUARY 7

LANGUAGE SHIFT

I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

PHILIPPIANS 4:13 NLT

I can’t. I have to. When you use these phrases, it reveals a powerless mindset. It is as if you are saying the decision is being made by someone other than you, and you have no choice in the matter. You are reluctant to take responsibility for the decision, so it feels better to say that someone or something else is making you act.

If you are powerless, you might also catch yourself saying, “I’ll try…” just in case you don’t come through on a commitment or promise. Change your language that is rooted in powerlessness and believe that you have the power to manage yourself.

Jesus, You have given us the strength to do everything You ask of us. You can help us change our powerless mindset into a powerful one and give us the ability to manage ourselves. Help our language to be full of confidence and ability.

What powerless language do you find yourself using? What can you do to shift it?

JANUARY 8

STAND AGAINST FEAR

I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.

PSALM 34:4 NLT

When you are powerless, you believe that most things and people in the world are more powerful than you are, and that is scary. Anxiety becomes your defining, driving force, and you feel as if life is out of your control. Powerless people have a deep need to suppress their abiding fear—fear of loss, pain, death, abandonment, and more.

If you think you don’t have the power to deal with your fear, then your only hope is to persuade other people to do it for you. You rely on them sharing their power with you because you feel like you don’t have any of your own. When you take a stand against fear, you stop trying to manipulate and control others, and you take responsibility for making yourself feel safe and happy.

Jesus, we are not powerless people. You have freed us from all our fears, and You are in control of every situation life brings. We say today that we will not be afraid. We resist the urge to manipulate and control others. In You, we will find our safety and our happiness.

What fears do you need to take a stand against today?

JANUARY 9

NOT A CONSUMER

“Whatever you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive it all.”

MATTHEW 21:22 NASB

Have you ever wanted to be with someone just because you want some of their happiness to rub off on you? It’s not uncommon to want this; however, you have to be careful that you don’t become consumers, sucking the happiness out of people until they are left dry.

The same can be said for resources of love, joy, and comfort. If you don’t...