Full Disclosure (eBook)

A Memoir

Theresa Miles (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2024 | 1. Auflage
310 Seiten
Bookbaby (Verlag)
979-8-3509-5784-6 (ISBN)

This new book was composed as a sequel to her first book Hiding in Plain Sight released in June '21. Now Full Disclosure is a complete 180 from the struggles she endured through the bulk of her life described in the first memoir now offering a renewal and celebration of life after being forced into retirement three years ago. Theresa offers insight into some of her hardest times, but now with her characteristic honesty and unabashed authentic self, she shares her complete victory and liberation. Although the intended audience is directed at the LGBTQ+ community and their family and friends, the challenges she confronts and how she overcomes them sheds light on what many go through in their journeys as Transgender or non-binary people. The purpose of both novels is to provide a storytelling opportunity for others involved in similar journeys searching for answers as either members of the LGBTQ+ community or those who are looking for more insight to help loved ones navigate their path. Theresa formed the Miles in Front Foundation receiving an IRS nonprofit approval rating in September of 2022 for the primary purpose of supporting the safety and security of the LGBTQ+ community through sustainable resource development. Like the first book, Full Disclosure will deposit all proceeds from book sales directly into the foundation.

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Full Disclosure is a sequel to her first book Hiding in Plain Sight released in June '21... a complete 180 from the struggles she endured through the bulk of her life described in the first memoir. This is a renewal and celebration of life after being forced into retirement three years ago. Theresa shares some of the most intimate details including her difficult decision to take the retirement package amid Covid-19. After a complex and stressful 2020, Theresa offers insight into some of her hardest times, but now with her characteristic honesty and unabashed authentic self, she shares her complete victory and liberation. Although the intended audience is directed at the LGBTQ+ community and their family and friends, the challenges she confronts and how she overcomes them and sheds light on what many go through in their journeys as Transgender or non-binary people. Full Disclosure, the follow-up book, covers the time of retirement pending through separation of employment that began her liberation and celebration she experienced on July 30, 2021, and over the next three years. Theresa focuses on clarifying her challenges, how she approached them, and ultimately achieved victory over almost all of them. Most chapters include supplemental takeaways highlighting what readers can use most readily in the challenges the community faces. It's no secret that the LGBTQ+ community is the favorite recipient of oppressive legislation and a seemingly endless attempt at erasing them. Theresa demonstrates a variety of situations in which she is completely open and unabashed revealing exactly who she is and has always been. She offers concrete advice on how to respond to some of the most common challenges the community faces. But she is also open and completely real demonstrating abundant humility and grace in nearly every situation. Where there is never an attempt at selling religion, Theresa does provide ample situations where her faith has proven more than once to give her divine guidance and salvation (from herself). She provides great direction and clarification of how her faith has helped her through even the most difficult challenges. And at the same time being critical of situations where the church has left her completely abandoned. Some of her deepest insights share her challenges of name changes, adjustments from physical changes over time, and family and work relationships that changed, improved dramatically, or simply disappeared completely. And lives her life essentially by herself never putting herself 'alone' as her faith and a handful of BFFs have demonstrated to her what 'family' and real love is. Theresa has chosen to blaze a path where there hasn't always been one during her life. She has taken what some might label as years of turmoil and concentrated on pulling out key opportunities on which we can all be inspired. This entire window into Teri's journey is just one way she is reaching out from the inside and will continue helping others find ways to write their story.

Separation

This is hard. Immensely and profoundly difficult! Confronting challenges in any and all forms is not something I have ever run away from, actually often I run into ‘burning buildings’ sometimes without knowing where the fire is or how bad it has burned already. This was a pervasive feeling that I could not shake, and it was all I could do to wake up each morning realizing that a critical part of my life was about to end.

I had never considered how much this would impact me. Saying goodbye to loved ones at a funeral or those leaving on an extended trip or being deployed on a military tour of duty all have their keynote place in our unique, personal histories. But our working careers sometimes end without a forethought, or some decisions are thrust upon us at a time when few other options allow any opportunity to negotiate or modify a future that has already been chosen for us. It is extremely hard to deal with the certain conclusion that an employer reaches that sends the message “You are no longer needed or have become obsolete. We have determined that your value to the company is no longer worth paying.” Perhaps a better way would be through an honest remark of “Don’t let the door slap you on the rear on the way out!”

Throughout one’s career, the retirement phase(s) is all too often not on most employee’s radar. In my late 50’s, I became openly doubtful that I would ever retire and be destined to always have to pay someone else simply for the luxury of being myself, the very thing that I have paid dearly for over my lifetime. The final phases of the retirement planning process take all sorts of paths, some with numerous diversions and even steps down to hopefully progress upward soon after, on the income ladder. Others will take on multiple jobs across their lifelong journey, many purely to put food on the table and raise a family, all too often doing it alone or with critically low resources and options. Or even pursue new work assignments just to maintain their current role and position. Relationships are critical in a career path that begins early and may sometimes resurface years later to [hopefully] help and guide new decisions or support old ones.

As diverse as humanity is, also are the demands and paths that our employment travels take along the way. Few have (or will exercise) the option to necessarily pursue one’s dreams to the extent they can find work that pays them for their love of life and passion or hobby. And finding job joy in any work that was not your lifelong dream becomes a blessing all its own.

For the most part, I was blessed with that luxury- of loving my work and those with whom I collaborated each day, my customers, my students, my manager, my comrades, my business partners, etc. As we can all attest, that also took considerable work some days. That’s part of life. I was blessed with good managers (bosses, for those who like to know themselves as having that power), for nearly all my career, certainly some less than good, but others exceptional who took an actual interest in those they worked ‘for.’ [Note that this is done to indicate that good and insightful managers understand their role IS working for those ‘below them.’ This is the practice of servant leadership, a foreign concept and practice to so many.]

On September 2nd, 2021, my [then] employer of 22 years sent out a very pointed ‘Congratulations!’ email that was by most interpretations, a formed email from a senior ‘leader’ whom I never met and had little interest in doing so. In typical fashion, it resembled most of our ‘do it yourself’ notices lacking any personal customizing on the initial reading- that part was left for the link to which it directed all attention. This part included a complete financial analysis of my work history and pension earnings within an ERO package (early retirement opportunity) later discovered had been offered specifically to those over 55 years old, to each one of over 3000 employees’ company wide. A total of 107 employees in my department of 121 decided to accept the offer- me included. On my team of twelve, 10 qualified, and 9 accepted the offer. Several who did not accept the ERO ended up later announcing their retirement effective February 1, 2022. The company interest was to be rid of ‘old and expensive’ and bring on new blood cheaper as a longer-term investment. But the lost legacy of the brain-trust that departed was soon to be completely gone and little torch-passing materialized over the next six to twelve months. My personal struggle was to let that go- to NOT own it. After decades of caring and thinking methodically through every transaction and communication, it was about to abruptly end. After July 30th, no one will care or remember me. That’s just how it works. No self-pity, just fact.

To avoid a mass exodus, nearly one-third of our departing unit were given one of three separation dates over the next 10 months of 2021, spanning January 31st to October 29th. My graduating class of those 107-departing met weekly on our own for 60-minute discussions about benefits, pension, Medicare and insurance coverage changes, 401K rollovers, and Social Security Adm. This was not a company-sponsored meeting- but it was necessary to get some factual detail to assure these lifechanging choices. Some of those leaders on these calls prepared a final ‘yearbook’ that offered a distinct collection of each retiree’s industry and company history of professional achievements. Unfortunately, my original reluctance to provide an entry was eventually met with ‘oh, what the heck… I would be more noticed by my omission if I were to openly avoid inclusion.’ However, this was the ultimate epitaph- I was creating a bio-reflective summary of my 41 years in the industry and 23 with this final company in my career as a persona that all of those [in the ERO group of my department] knew of me then- not who I really am. Perhaps figuratively, I had every intention of putting an end to that on July 31, 2021. The ‘he’ would no longer exist. And she who is now, nearly no one from my work there would ever know her. And that was perfectly fine by me!

For most of this final year (September 2020 to August 2021), I did not want to inform my business associates at this late stage of employment. Although few would care, it would consume all conversations during a summer of so many other retirements. I did not want to be a distraction, so I strategically let no one else know. Every time I neared self-explosion with excitement about my pending announcement, Paul brought me back to Earth and restated the smart decision to withhold anything of the sort, “No one will care in the long run. Stay the course.”

This led me to a decision to remain ‘hiding’ that I am still quite happy I made. Most of my closest comrades would not do well with my name change and pronouns, and I did not want that barrage of perpetual questions and remarks to flood the inboxes of so many others. Corporate gossip can be a cancer and my experience over a 41-year career proved my point- repeatedly. As I quickly demonstrated over time, few cared about me as the person I am. We had created an environment that was emotionally and strategically disconnected from each other by daily distrust and corporate deceit that gave rise to that detachment. They liked to portray this as ‘recognition’ and ‘pay for performance’ but under the guise of competition that pitted everyone against each other. Where that can be summarized and rationalized by those in any senior leadership within today’s business world, it is typically dreamt up by those who fail to understand and practice servant leadership principles that drive to support those ranked below them. Ask 2Tony Dungy and 3Bill Cowher of the NFL and they can show you exactly how that worked for them.

There was a team meeting shortly after the retirement announcements when one special colleague of mine asked how I was after several scathing remarks from other team members on the call. When I asked why, he had observed tire tracks on my back (from being thrown under the bus a few times). I have never been one to cave under the pressure of other associates venting their frustrations or from their shortcomings for which they place personal blame on me. But this was a growing trend that came rearing its ugly head, especially during these closing months of employment. This should be a time of appreciation and gratitude given those with an extended tenure of devoted service, which was not always shared the same way amongst colleagues.

It is important to know, however, that there were an equal number of critically important people and moments during my tenure worth celebration. Each was a key experience in my journey, albeit still in a gender role reversed from my truth. I have this conversation regularly with some members of the LGBTQ+ community who never worked in a corporate environment and do not have a grasp of the political posturing and often resultant self-denial that takes center stage. Still, others completely get this and have experienced much the same, but each with a different outcome that few can accurately predict at the time. The corporate culture of universal celebration is not a uniform value in all corporations and is not even pervasive in those who market a DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) focus on their company webpage. There will always be pockets of dissent and denial of the truth that seek to force...

Erscheint lt. Verlag	15.5.2024
Sprache	englisch
Themenwelt	Sachbuch/Ratgeber
ISBN-13	979-8-3509-5784-6 / 9798350957846

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