D.R.I.V.E.: The Journey of You (eBook)

Chapter 1:
What Is D.R.I.V.E.?

DRIVE (v): “to operate and control the direction and speed of a motor vehicle” (Merriam-Webster)

“Attitude drives actions. Actions drive results.
Results drive lifestyle.” —Jim Rohn

I remember visiting a new city for the first time, and while there my family and I went to an amusement park. This park happened to be one that I had never visited before. One of the first things I made sure to do when we showed our tickets to the attendant was to visit the big sign located just inside the gate that showed a large map of the park, with everything from rides to shows to food spots, right on down to restrooms. But even more important than any of those destinations was a big red dot that read, “You Are Here!” This point on the map let me know specifically where I was in relation to where I wanted to go. That proved to be a crucial move, because in order to know where I’m going, I must know where I’m currently positioned.

This is the basis of this book. D.R.I.V.E. is about discovering where you are, where you’re going, and how you’re going to get there. Not only that, it will address the question of what is going to drive you to get to your desired destination. Will it be excitement for the future, will it be hurt from the past, or better yet, will it be a wish without wings? Whatever it may be, D.R.I.V.E. will help you consider the questions that lead to the specific answers in your own journey as you navigate your life—whether that be personally, professionally, relationally, spiritually, or emotionally.

The stories we tell ourselves contribute to what drives us. How does that come to be, and why do we tell ourselves “stories”? Our experiences in life, both good and bad, have a deep effect and influence on us. Sometimes we may tell ourselves stories to ease the pain of an experience, or maybe it’s easier to believe what someone else has told us many times or many years back. The thing about experiences is that you can’t “un-experience” them (if there is such a word) and delete them from your past. Nor can you “copy and paste” your most positive experiences and make them your present-day reality. These notions led me to ask myself what story I am telling myself, good or bad. I didn’t know it when I began this journey, but I had to find out what was driving my life.

Everyone has a story. Everyone has something that’s driving them to something, to help them make it through challenging times. But is whatever is driving you sustainable? Can it stand the test of time? If it cannot, what is the result when it runs out? You owe it to yourself and to those who are important to you to heed the navigational instructions that ultimately lead you to your destination.

Embrace your story. Tell the truth to yourself about your story. But be hopeful and know that your story is still in the making. It’s still being written. You have the power to affect those chapters with the Who, the What, the When, the Where, and the How.

I came to understand that we are all uniquely qualified to tell our stories and to travel our individual paths. We uniquely have our own strengths, pain, experiences, and passions. Considering that, we are uniquely qualified to live out our own individual stories, and the world is waiting to hear them.

For the purposes of this book and the D.R.I.V.E. concept, we are each the vehicle, while our life’s journey is the road, and movement (in its proper season) is the goal. The components of D.R.I.V.E. become the fuel that moves us from one point to the next.

D.R.I.V.E. examines what I call the Five Gears of Operation. Those gears are:

• Your Distinction (recognizing, understanding, and valuing who you are and your unique qualities)
• Your Relationships (recognizing and understanding how your interpersonal connections impact your journey’s trajectory, potential, and sustainability)
• Your Inspiration (recognizing, understanding, and maximizing your passion, which leads to your purpose)
• Your Vision (ability to see something, not just as it is today but what it has the potential to become)
• Your Evolution (displaying the willingness and courage to change, grow, and develop to a greater form of yourself)

D.R.I.V.E. is designed to help give your life structure and a navigational route as you take your journey. You will be aligned to move in the direction of those things that are important to you to accomplish more in your life, your relationships, your organization, or whatever it may be. These three essential questions address internal forces that drive us down various paths:

1. Where am I currently positioned in life?
2. In what direction is my life moving?
3. How do I get to my desired destination?

You will learn concepts to identify potential obstacles that threaten, delay, or even halt your journey and be introduced to the 3A Method to counteract those obstacles. The components of the 3A Method are:

1. Awareness: your distinction and your relationships
2. Acknowledgment: your inspiration
3. Action: your vision and your evolution

This method can help you see obstacles as opportunities waiting to happen. It is also meant to build you up from the inside out and to help you see yourself from a new perspective. When you SEE yourself the way you were created to be, you can BE who you were created to be, and DO what you were created to do!

My Story

MY WINDSHIELD MOMENT

The Event: 12/12/84 (A Day That Will Live in Infamy)

On December 7, 1941, at about 8 a.m., Japanese planes filled the sky over Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. Bombs and bullets rained onto the vessels below. At approximately 8:10, an 1,800-pound bomb smashed through the deck of the battleship USS Arizona and landed in its forward ammunition magazine. The ship exploded and sank with more than 1,000 men trapped inside. Next, torpedoes pierced the shell of the battleship USS Oklahoma. With 400 sailors aboard, the Oklahoma lost her balance, rolled onto her side, and slipped underwater. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt (FDR) termed it a “day that will live in infamy.”

My Pearl Harbor moment came on December 12, 1984. It was a day that I will never forget. I call it my Day of Infamy. I was fifteen years old. It was just a normal day during basketball season, and I was at basketball practice at school. I was a sophomore in high school and was warming up and shooting before the coach started practice. As we were shooting around, my older brother walked into the gym and told my coach he needed to talk to me, so I got my stuff and went out to his car. It was wintertime in Michigan, so it was snowing outside. On this cold, damp, overcast day, I could hear the windshield wiper blades intermittently rotating back and forth every few seconds. We didn’t drive anywhere; my brother simply leaned back in his seat and stared out the front windshield, clearly measuring his words and carefully thinking of what he was going to say. He finally proceeded to tell me that the person whose last name I bear was not my father. He was telling me this because later in the week I would have to take a blood test to determine whether this person was my biological father. My brother wanted to spare me the inevitable surprise that I would face, but in doing so, he unloaded a bomb on me.

Just like the USS Oklahoma and the USS Arizona, I was surprise-attacked, air raided, torpedoed, and sunk. As I sat there in the car, it was like time was frozen. I was literally suspended in time. As the weight of the reality that he shared with me began to ooze its way into the consciousness of my mind, I could hear the rhythmic sound of the windshield wipers getting slower and slower . . . fainter and fainter . . . until finally, it stopped . . . and time, as I knew it, stood still. After what seemed like a four-hour conversation but was more like a thirty-minute one, I composed myself, wiped away my tears, got out of the car, and walked past my teammates and coaches who were practicing and into the locker room. I collected my clothes out of the locker and brought them back to the car. When I went back to practice the next day, as I was entering the court, my coach asked me if I was alright. I said yes. And from that point on, I began to learn the art of compartmentalization. I didn’t have to learn how to compartmentalize; it was just a natural coping response to deal with that situation. Though that conversation in the car was relatively short in length, its effects were long-lasting.

Most of us have had such a day. A day, a moment, a period that deeply affects or alters the trajectory of our lives. A day when time stands still. A day that shifts your life into a certain gear and sends you searching for answers.

Just as the Pearl Harbor surprise attack awoke a sleeping giant, causing the United States to build itself into what would become a world superpower, my day of infamy awoke something in me that would cause me to accept the challenge that was before me to become better, not bitter. The aftermath of that day is what would DRIVE me to begin the...