Bounce Back

LYNNETTE KHALFANI-COX is a personal finance expert, keynote speaker, and the widely read author of 16 money-management books, including the New York Times bestseller Zero Debt: The Ultimate Guide to Financial Freedom. She’s a former financial news journalist and co-owner of TheMoneyCoach.net LLC, a financial education company that offers financial education consulting, financial workshops, training programs, and more.

Acknowledgments xxi

About the Author xxiii

Foreword xxv

Introduction xxvii

Chapter 1: Resilience and Grit in the Face of Adversity, Transition, and Change 1

The Drive: A Famous Sports Comeback 2

Understanding the Value of Transition and Change 3

The Upside of Your Transition and Stress 5

Defining and Developing Resilience 7

Financial Resilience 9

Structural Inequality and Systems 10

Many Forms of Resilience 13

Building Emotional Resilience 13

Write a Letter to Yourself from the Perspective of a Compassionate Friend 13

Find a Quiet, Comfortable Place to Write 13

Begin with a Friendly Salutation 14

Acknowledge Your Feelings and Struggles 14

Express Understanding and Empathy 14

Offer Support and Encouragement 14

Share Practical Advice or Coping Strategies 14

Close the Letter with Kindness and Affirmation 14

Fostering Social Resilience 15

Enhancing Physical Resilience 15

Recognizing and Embracing Your Strengths 16

Resources for Resilience and Grit 18

Chapter 2: Building Your Resilience 19

Strategy 1: Practicing Mindfulness 19

Strategy 2: Cultivating Gratitude 20

Strategy 3: Journaling 21

Strategy 4: Being Patient with Yourself 22

Strategy 5: Practicing Self-compassion 22

Strategy 6: Seeking Professional Help 24

Identify the Right Professional for Your Needs 24

Consider Different Therapy Styles and Techniques 24

Leverage Online Resources and Support Groups 24

Keep an Open Mind and Be Patient 25

Strategy 7: Staying Connected 25

Reach Out to Friends and Family 25

Join Support Groups or Clubs 25

Engage in Community Activities 26

Create a Support Network 26

Strategy 8: Focusing on Self-care 26

Maintain a Balanced Diet 26

Stay Hydrated 26

Get Regular Checkups 27

Stretch and Move 27

Prioritize Personal Hygiene 27

Limit Screen Time 27

Manage Stress 28

Exercise Regularly 28

Get Plenty of Sleep 28

Listen to Your Body 28

Strategy 9: Establishing a New Money Game Plan 29

Assess Your Current Financial Situation 29

Create a Monthly Budget 29

Set Financial Goals 30

Regularly Check Your Net Worth 30

Seek Professional Guidance 30

Stay Proactive and Adaptable 30

Maintain Open Communication with Loved Ones 31

Strategy 10: Creating a Financial Plan B 31

Identify Potential Risks and Setbacks 31

Evaluate Your Emergency Fund 32

Review Your Insurance Coverage 32

Diversify Your Income Streams 32

Create a Plan for Each Scenario 32

Maintain a Flexible Budget 33

Keep your Skills Up to Date 33

Review and Update Your Plan Regularly 33

Resources for Building Resilience 34

Chapter 3: Downsized from a Job 35

The Handwriting on the Wall 36

Downsizing and Layoffs Are Painful— and Widespread— in America 37

The Rise of AI Will Lead to More Job Loss 37

The Emotional Aspects of Job Loss 39

The Psychological Contract 39

Coping Strategies to Help 41

Being Patient with Yourself 41

Practicing Self-compassion 41

Seeking Professional Help 42

Staying Connected to Others 42

Prioritizing Self-care 42

Three Crucial Financial Steps in the Wake of Job Loss 43

Review and Adjust Your Budget 43

Apply for Unemployment Benefits 43

Build or Maintain an Emergency Fund 43

Interim Economic Moves to Survive a Downsizing 44

Explore Freelance or Gig Work 44

Consider Temporary or Part-time Employment 44

Investigate Government Assistance Programs 44

Consider Refinancing or Consolidating Debt 45

Tap into Savings Cautiously 45

Negotiate with Creditors 45

Seek Professional Financial Guidance 45

Job Hunting the Right Way 46

10 Best Career Reentry Strategies to Find New Employment 47

Reflect, Analyze, and Improve Your Way to a New Job 47

Update Your Résumé and LinkedIn Profile 48

Network the Right Way 49

Enhance Your Skills 49

Practice Your Interview Skills 49

Set Daily Job Search Goals 50

Create a Job Search Plan 50

Use Job Search Engines and Online Resources 50

Attend Job Fairs and Networking Events 50

Leverage Social Media 50

Stay Persistent and Positive 50

Should You Look for Another Job at All? 51

A Pivotal Turning Point 52

Is Entrepreneurship Right for You? 53

Downsized from a Job Resources 55

Chapter 4: Divorce 57

The Financial Cost of My Divorce 59

Women Pay Alimony and Child Support Too 60

Casting Off Your Ex-spouse Financially 61

Step 1. Close Joint Accounts 62

Step 2. Update Beneficiaries and Estate Planning Documents 62

Step 3. Change Your Name If Applicable and If Desired 64

Step 4. Establish a New Budget 66

Step 5: Reevaluate Your Insurance Needs 66

Protecting Your Credit During Divorce 67

Long-term Planning During Divorce 69

Common Financial Mistakes to Avoid During Divorce 70

Not Understanding Your Financial Situation 71

Overlooking Tax Implications 71

Failing to Update Your Estate Plan 71

Keeping the Family Home Without Considering the Costs 71

Not Considering the Long-term Impact of Asset Division 71

Ignoring Insurance Needs 71

Not Securing Spousal and Child Support Payments 72

Failing to Establish Individual Credit 72

Making Emotional Decisions 72

Not Seeking Professional Help 72

Post-divorce Stories of Emotional Recovery 72

My Sister’s Divorce Story 74

Divorce Resources 75

Chapter 5: Death of a Loved One 77

Lives Forever Changed 78

The Road to Recovery 79

Bouncing Back Amid the Pain 80

Coping Strategies to Deal with Grief 81

The Six Transition Truths 82

Transition Truth No. 1 82

Transition Truth No. 2 82

Transition Truths 3–6 83

The Trauma of Losing My Sister 83

Understanding Your Ancillary Losses 84

Emotional Support 85

Financial Stability 85

Roles and Responsibilities 85

Social Connections 85

Shared Dreams and Plans 86

Sense of Self 86

Familiar Routines 86

Taking the First Crucial Five Steps 86

Step 1: Give Yourself Time to Grieve 87

Step 2: Locate and Organize Important Documents 87

Start with the Obvious Places 88

Reach Out to Professionals 88

Request Duplicates If Needed 88

Create a Filing System 88

Keep a Master List 89

Update Your Records Regularly 89

Step 3: Inform Relevant Parties and Institutions 89

Obtain Multiple Copies of the Death Certificate 90

Make a List of Organizations to Contact 90

Prioritize Your Notifications 90

Keep Track of Your Communications 91

Be Prepared to Provide the Necessary Information 91

Seek Professional Assistance If Needed 91

Step 4: Assess Your Financial Situation 91

Make an Inventory of Assets 92

Identify Debts and Ongoing Expenses 92

Determine Sources of Income and Financial Support 92

Consult with Professionals 92

Understand Your Legal Responsibilities 92

Step 5: Create a New Budget and Financial Plan 93

Determine Your New Income and Expenses 94

Create a Detailed Budget 94

Make Necessary Adjustments 94

Build an Emergency Fund 94

Reevaluate Your Financial Goals 95

Seek Professional Guidance 95

Handling Special Circumstances 96

Loss of Household Income 96

Reduction in Social Security Benefits 96

Change in Tax Status 96

Loss of Access to Credit Cards 96

Delayed or Blocked Access to Savings and Investments 97

Inheritance Complications in Second Marriages 97

Finding Missing Money 97

Gather Important Documents 97

Contact Insurance Companies 98

Search for Bank and Investment Accounts 98

Investigate Unclaimed Property 98

Check for Retirement Accounts and Pension Benefits 98

Review Tax Records 98

Consult with Professionals 99

Making It Past the Initial Phase 99

Financial Grief Explained 99

Emotional Responses to Financial Grief 100

Death of a Loved One Resources 101

Chapter 6: Disability 103

Setting the Bar Higher 105

What Are Disabilities and How Prevalent Are They? 106

A Comprehensive View of Managing the Challenges Tied to Disabilities 107

The Basics of Disability Insurance and How It Can Help Financially 109

What Is Disability Insurance? 109

Benefits of Disability Insurance 110

All About Social Security Disability Insurance 111

Eligibility for SSDI 112

A Profile of Who Collects SSDI 112

A Host of Benefits with SSDI 113

Claiming Social Security Disability Income or Workers’ Comp Benefits 114

Getting Workers’ Compensation Benefits 115

What to Do If You Get Sued for Overpayment of Disability Benefits 116

Don’t Ignore the Situation 116

Gather Documentation 116

Contact an Attorney 117

Communicate with the Insurance Company or SSA 117

Consider Possible Defenses 117

Prepare for Court (If Necessary) 118

Six Alternative Income Sources When You Have a Disability and Can’t Work 118

Government Benefits 118

Disability Insurance 119

Personal Savings and Investments 119

Passive Income 120

Support from Family and Friends 120

Reverse Mortgages 120

Safeguarding Your Earnings During a Disability 121

Federal and State Resources That Help the Disabled and Their Caregivers 122

Financial Assistance 122

Health Care Resources 122

Housing Assistance 123

Employment Support 123

Educational Support 124

Transportation and Mobility Resources 124

Support for Caregivers 124

The Mind-Body Connections That Can Help You Overcome a Physical Disability 125

Embrace a Positive Mindset 125

Practice Mindfulness and Meditation 125

Engage in Regular Physical Activity 126

Seek Social Support 126

Utilize Therapy and Counseling 126

Consider Complementary and Alternative Therapies 126

Develop Adaptive Strategies 126

Foster a Sense of Purpose 127

Bouncing Back from Disability 127

Disability Resources 127

Chapter 7: Disease 129

Disease Can Spark a Cascade of Medical Bills 132

How to Handle Lost Income and Employment Challenges 134

Assessing Your Work Abilities and Limitations 135

Exploring Workplace Accommodations and Flexibility 135

Seeking Vocational Rehabilitation and Career Transition Services 135

Exploring Freelance, Part-time, or Remote Work Opportunities 136

The Importance of Building the Right Support System 136

The Role of Family, Friends, and Loved Ones 136

Seeking Emotional Support and Counseling 137

Engaging with Support Groups and Online Communities 137

Identifying and Utilizing Local Resources and Organizations 138

How to Communicate with Health Care Providers 138

Understanding Medical Billing and Basic Insurance Terminology 138

Negotiating Medical Bills and Seeking Financial Assistance 139

Advocating for Yourself and Your Health Care Needs 139

Seeking Alternative Treatment Options and Exploring Cost-saving Strategies 140

How to Deal with Insurance Companies 140

Appealing a Denial from Your Health Insurer 142

What Medical Providers and Health Care Systems Can Do 144

How to Handle Medical Debt 145

The Vicious Cycle of Chronic Illness, Disease, and Medical Debt 146

Strategies for Dealing with Medical Debt 147

Negotiate with the Medical Provider 147

Work with Independent Advocates and Government Agencies 147

Consider Debt Consolidation 147

Apply for a 0% APR Credit Card 147

All About Charity Care Programs 148

Drawbacks to Charity Care Programs 149

Using “No Surprising Billing” Legislation to Your Advantage 150

Steps for Taking Care of Your Emotional Health 152

Embracing Self-care Practices 152

Seeking Emotional Support 153

Exploring Mind-body Techniques 153

Engaging in Peer-to-peer Support 154

How to Develop a Financial Recovery Plan 154

Assessing the Current Financial Situation 154

Setting Realistic Goals and Timelines 155

Creating a Budget and Managing Expenses 155

Exploring Financial Assistance Programs and Grants 156

Disease Resources 156

Chapter 8: Disasters 157

No Aspect of Life Untouched 159

The Long-lasting Impact of Natural Disasters 160

Understanding Billion-dollar Weather and Climate Disasters 161

An Insider’s View of How Disaster Recovery Works 163

All About Free Money from the Red Cross 165

What to Do the First 24 to 72 Hours After a Disaster 166

Ensure Safety 166

Seek Help and Inform Authorities 166

Document Damage 166

Secure Temporary Accommodation 166

Begin Cleaning Up 167

Start Replacing Vital Documents 167

Contact Your Insurance Company 167

Take Care of Yourself and Your Family 167

Returning Home Safely 167

What to Do the First Week to 10 Days After Disaster Strikes 168

Access Local Resources 168

Apply for Aid 169

How to Secure FEMA Aid After a Disaster 170

Step 1: Understand Eligibility 170

Step 2: Prepare Essential Documents 171

Step 3: Apply for Assistance 171

Step 4: Inspection and Follow-up 171

Step 5: Appeal, If Necessary 171

How to Handle Living with Disaster Six Months Later 172

Monitoring Your Mental Health 172

Continuing Insurance Claims 172

Addressing Financial and Housing Issues 173

How to Cope with Long-term Disasters Six Months to Six Years and Beyond 174

Rebuilding and Repairing 174

Seeking Long-term Aid 174

All About the New Federal Effort Designed to Help Disaster Survivors 175

How to Deal with the Two Most Common Insurance Claims Problems 178

Problem #1: Inadequate Documentation 178

Problem #2: Lack of Advocacy 179

How to Address Trauma and Manage Your Emotions 180

Reach Out 180

Prioritize Self-care 181

How to Plan for Future Natural Disasters 182

Understand Your Environment and Risks 182

Be Insured 182

Save on Insurance 182

Understand Your Insurance Policy 184

Prepare a Go Bag 184

Stockpile Emergency Supplies 184

Pad Your Pantry Wisely 185

Develop an Evacuation Plan 185

Secure and Digitize Important Documents 185

Build Your Savings 185

Make Legal Preparations 186

Make a Financial Recovery Kit 186

Explore Earthquake Insurance 186

Fight Off Forest Fires 186

Get Hurricane Ready 186

Defend Against Drought 187

Consider Home Improvements 187

Disaster Resources 188

Chapter 9: Debt 189

How to Recognize Emotional Spending 190

How to Enter the No Shame Zone 191

A Unique Look at Needs Versus Wants 193

An Inspirational Tale of Going from Debt to Wealth 194

What to Do If Your Home Mortgage Has Become Unaffordable 195

Understanding Your Mortgage 196

Loan Modification 196

Refinancing 196

Government Programs 196

Selling Your Home 197

How to Navigate Your Home Options 197

Short Sale or Deed-in-lieu 197

Deed-in-lieu of Foreclosure 197

Communication Is Key 198

How to Deal with Your Emotional Burden 198

Fool-proof, Effective Strategies to Knock Out Credit Card Debt Once and for All 199

Understanding Your Credit Card Debt 199

Pay More Than the Minimum 199

Debt Snowball Versus Debt Avalanche 199

Balance Transfers and Debt Consolidation 200

Use Windfalls Wisely 201

Seeking Professional Help 201

How to Cut Auto Loan Debt Even If You’re Leasing or Are Upside Down on a Car Loan 202

Understanding Your Auto Loan 202

Refinancing Your Auto Loan 202

Selling Your Car or Trading It In 202

Leasing a Car Instead 203

Seeking Professional Help 203

Smart Ways to Eliminate College Debt for Federal Student Loans and Private Loans 204

Understanding Your Student Loans 204

Repayment Plans 204

Federal Loan Forgiveness Programs 204

Refinancing and Consolidation 205

Getting Professional Help 206

How to Get Others, Such as the Government or an Employer, to Repay Your College Debt 206

Employer Student Loan Repayment Assistance Programs 207

Volunteer Work and Other Programs 208

Getting Professional Help 208

Solutions to Get Out of Payday Loan Traps 208

Understanding Payday Loans 209

Alternate Solutions 209

Debt Consolidation Loans 210

Seek Professional Help 210

Easy Fixes for Worrisome IRS Issues and Tax Debt 210

Understanding Your Tax Debt 211

Payment Plans 211

Offer in Compromise 212

Innocent Spouse Relief 212

Getting Professional Help 212

Psychological and Emotional Recovery from Debt 213

Recognize the Emotional Impact of Debt 213

Seek Support 213

Practice Self-care 213

Focus on the Future 213

The Path to a Debt-free Life 214

Remembering Your Why 214

Staying Consistent 214

Celebrating Small Wins 215

Building a New Relationship with Money 215

Debt Resources 215

Chapter 10: Damaged Credit 217

How to Understand What’s on Your Credit Reports 219

Contents of a Credit Report 219

The Importance of Reviewing Your Credit Report Regularly 220

How Your Credit Scores Are Calculated 220

What Causes Bad Credit 221

Late or Missed Payments 222

Collections and Charge-offs 222

Judgments and Bankruptcies 223

High Credit Card Utilization 223

Excessive Credit Inquiries 223

How Piggybacking Off Someone Else’s Credit Can Help Your Credit 224

The Benefits of Using Secured Credit Cards 225

Understanding Secured Credit Cards 225

Responsible Credit Usage and Timely Payments 225

Gradually Increase Credit Limits 226

The Value of Adding Rent and Nontraditional Information to Your Credit Reports 226

Harnessing the Power of Rent and Nontraditional Payments 226

Research Rent Reporting Services 227

Verify Reporting Practice 227

Consistent and Timely Payments 227

Keep Documentation 227

How to Negotiate with Creditors 228

Understanding the Importance of Negotiation 228

Assess Your Financial Situation 228

Contact Your Creditors 229

Propose a Workable Solution 229

Be Professional and Persistent 229

How to Achieve Perfect Credit 229

What Exactly Is Perfect Credit? 230

The Seven-step Formula to Perfect Credit 230

Step 1: Pull Your Credit Reports and Credit Scores 231

Step 2: Examine Your Files and Enroll in Credit Monitoring 231

Step 3: Reduce Debt and Manage Bills Wisely 232

Step 4: Fix Errors and Protect Your Credit 233

Step 5: Enhance Your Credit Files Constantly 234

Step 6: Contact Creditors and Negotiate 235

Initiating the Process: Getting Creditors to Collaborate 235

Six Objectives for Creditors’ Discussions 236

Step 7: Take Time to Educate Yourself 236

Understanding Your Existing Credit Obligations 236

Knowledge of Personalized Financial Products and Services 237

Staying Current on Credit Scoring Developments 237

Awareness of Credit and Debt Laws 237

Damaged Credit Resources 237

Chapter 11: Dollar Deficits 239

No Warning and No Good Prospects 241

Noticing a Pattern Turns into Purpose 243

Dealing with Life’s Blows 244

Creative Ways to Turbo-charge Your Savings 245

A Rainy Day Fund Versus an Emergency Fund 245

Six Ways to Jump-start Your Savings 247

What to Do If You’re Approaching Retirement and Haven’t Saved Enough 248

Assess Your Current Financial Situation 248

Set Realistic Retirement Goals 249

Create a Budget and Stick to It 249

Maximize Retirement Contributions 249

Seek Professional Financial Advice 249

Explore Additional Income Streams 250

Downsize and Cut Expenses 250

Consider Delaying Retirement 250

Invest Wisely 251

Prioritize Health and Wellness 251

Strategies for Creating and Maintaining a Realistic Budget 251

Prioritize Your Purchases 252

Set Realistic Savings Goals 252

Keep It Simple 252

Include a Miscellaneous Category 252

Track Your Spending 252

Adopt a Cash-only Mindset 253

Understand Four Important Rules of Budgeting 253

Rule #1: Avoid Overspending 253

Rule #2: Add 20% to Your Planned Expenses 254

Rule #3: Reward Yourself with Treats Along the Way 254

Rule #4: Include a Savings Category in Your Budget 255

How to Create a Strong Financial Plan B 255

Dollar Deficit Resources 257

Chapter 12: Discrimination 259

How Discrimination Hurts Us All 262

All About Employment Discrimination and the Gender Pay Gap 263

Some Facts About Redlining and Mortgage and Housing Discrimination 264

My Experience with Appraisal Bias and the Appraisal Gap 265

The Pitfalls of Predatory Lending 266

Combating Housing Discrimination 267

An Understanding of Racial Discrimination and Its Financial Impact 267

Banking Deserts in Low-income Neighborhoods 268

Why Age Discrimination Is Wrong and Its Financial Impact 269

All About Gender Discrimination, Shattering the Glass Ceiling, and the Pink Tax 270

Some Insights into LGBTQ+ Discrimination 271

Unequal Access to Health Care and Other Services or Opportunities 272

Facts About Disability Discrimination and Financial Access 272

Barriers to Financial Access 273

Limited Employment Opportunities 273

Promoting Disability Rights and Financial Inclusion 273

Five Strategies for Dealing with Discrimination 274

A Framework for Healing from Workplace Discrimination 276

Congratulations and an Invitation 276

Discrimination Resources 277

Research Resources 279

Index 287