Grief on the Road to Emmaus

Beth L. Hewett, PhD, CT, CCISM, CEOLS, is an experienced bereavement facilitator, facilitator trainer, Benedictine oblate, and author. She supports individuals and groups in coping with trauma and grief, focusing on mindful mourning and the intention of finding hope. Dr. Hewett is a Certified Thanatologist and a Certified Critical Incident Stress Management Specialist. Her work includes grief-focused articles and such books as Supporting a Grieving Workforce, Good Words: Memorializing through a Eulogy, and More Good Words: Practical Activities for Mourning. Learn more about Dr. Hewett and find information on her bereavement facilitator training and grief ministry workshops at www.goodwordsforgrieving.com/.

Contents

Acknowledgments   xi
Preface   xiii
Introduction   1
   A Ministry of Presence   5
   Accompanying the Bereaved   8
   Ministering to the Masses   11
   Monastic Values for Bereavement Care   14
   Invitation to Work Together   17
   Outline of the Book   18

CHAPTER ONE
Love Other People   23
   Love and Grief   24
   Grief and Mourning   26
   Self-Love and Our Personal Griefs   39
   Loving Ourselves Healthfully   40
   Exercise 1: Personal Grief Stories   43
   Exercise 2: My Bereavement Map   44
   Exercise 3: Grief and Loss Self-Care Checklist   45
   Conclusion   46

CHAPTER TWO
Mutuality Sees Humanity   51
   Interpersonal Regard   53
   Cultural Competence and Cultural Humility   57 
   Exercise: Self-Reflections on Cultural Competence and Cultural Humility   59
   ATTEND Model for Mindfulness-Based Bereavement Care   70
   Conclusion   74

CHAPTER THREE
Hospitality Makes Space   77
   A Monastic Place of Respite   78
   Providing a Holding Environment and Container   82
   Providing Loving Boundaries   87
   Conclusion   101

CHAPTER FOUR
Listening Is Sacred   105
   Listening through Silence   107
   Listening to Hear versus Listening to Respond   115
   Exercise: Responsive Listening   125
   Listening Mindfully through Story   126
   Mindful Use of Language   144
   Conclusion   146

CHAPTER FIVE
Prayer Seeks Hope   149
   Prayer and Hope   151
   What Hopeful Prayer Looks Like   158
   Strategies for Praying Hopefully   170
   Conclusion   180

CHAPTER SIX
Humility Knows Its Place 183
   Humility   185
   Grief and Trauma   187 
   Grief and Mental Health   202
   Ethics and Bereavement Facilitation   216
   Exercise: Writing a Code of Conduct   222
   Conclusion   224

CHAPTER SEVEN
Action Expresses Love   229
   Action, or Good Works, as a Vehicle for Love   231
   The Importance of Symbols for Action   232
   Universal Symbols   234
   Using Symbols for Mourning   238
   Symbolism for Death and Bereavement as Specific Life Phases   242
   The Catholic Funeral as Symbolic Action   243
   Assisting the Bereaved Sensitively   254
   Employing Other Sacred Grief Ceremonies and Rituals   257
   Conclusion   268

CHAPTER EIGHT
Community Recreates Humanity   273
   Community within the Ministry of Consolation Team   275
   Community through Grief Support Groups   283
   Community among Other Bereavement Support Organizations   303
   Conclusion   308

CONCLUSION
We Return to Love   311
Index   314