Unveiling: A Place Where Pain and Passion Collide (eBook)

Introduction

“If all you see is what you see, you will never see all there is to be seen.”

-Dr. Tony Evans, Senior Pastor at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, Texas

Unveiled means to expose something, remove a protective covering or make something public.

Hi, I’m Julie! We don’t know each other yet. Or do we? We might find that we are connected in similar ways. Maybe we have experienced some of the same crossroads in life. Or maybe we have not. That is not the point. I believe we all have something to share. The experiences we have each gone through might be the very thing that shines light into another person’s darkness. Let me tell you some things about me, and maybe, just maybe, we might have something in common. Throughout my lifetime, I have experienced all the following issues at one time or another:

Neglect

Abandonment Issues

Judgment

Sexual Abuse

Abortion

Depression

Self-hate

Suicidal Thoughts

Anxiety

Promiscuity

Alcohol Abuse

Anger

Hurt

Physical Abuse

Held Hostage At Gunpoint

Became An Introvert

Fertility Issues

In-vitro Fertilization

C-Section

1 Child Born Handicap

Sexually Transmitted Disease

Adoption

1 Child Having Severe Emotional Issues

Financial Hardship

Bitterness

Severe Sadness

Feeling Completely Alone In The World

Betrayal

Divorce

Loss Of Friendships

Feeling Like I Was Losing My Mind

EMDR (Trauma) Therapy

Single Parenting

Dating Again

LIFE!!!

Now, what transpired between this long list of things that I have gone through to feeling untangled and alive again consisted of three things: God, therapy, and forgiveness. Not everyone will have the same story as mine. Each one of us is a unique individual. Our timelines of experiences are distinctive to the person we were created to be. I can tell you, without hesitation, that throughout my life, I feel as though certain revelations have been unveiled to me. Once this unveiling took place, I was able to see specific personal accounts of incidents that impacted me in a whole new light. Then God, therapy, and forgiveness eventually tied everything together. So much so that now when I look back on my life, some of the hardest things I went through were blessings in disguise. Some were building character in me. Some might have happened just so I could help someone else get through the same heartache. Some things I will never understand this side of heaven. But that’s okay. Really? Yes, because I would not change a single day of my life. What? You heard me.

More than once I have had people ask me if I could go back and change one day of my life, would I? My answer is always the same, “Absolutely not.” Seriously, after all the hard things I just mentioned that I had experienced? Correct. If I changed one day of my life, I would not have the two most precious little humans that call me “Mom,” and I would not trade them for the world. Sure, I might have children, but they would not be my two little sweethearts, Sofia and Lily-Grace. I adore being a mom. I consider it an honor that God would allow me to raise these girls and do life with them. Another reason I would not change one day of my life is that every single day, every single thing that has happened, every breath, every tear, has made me who I am today, and I would not trade that for the world either. And trust me, I do not say that with any trace of arrogance or ego. It has taken me 50 years to like me—no, to love me. And my life is beautiful and blessed, so why would I change what has brought me to where I am?

If you would do me the honor of spending some time together here, I would love to go on a journey with you that might possibly be life-changing for you as well. I love happy endings, and I believe, better yet, I know that happy endings are completely possible, even in the midst of a storm in life. As you see, I have been through much. Who hasn’t? But I can tell you today, at 52 years of age, I am happier than I have ever been in life. But there were things that had to change within me in order for me to get from where I was to where I am now. Not every step was easy. Most weren’t. I truly did not understand everything along the way. There were days I wanted to just give up. And there were days I could not even cry because I was so empty. But none of that is important because the beauty of today erases the ugly of the past, if you let it. I am not going to sit here and say every day of my life is butterflies and roses because we all face struggles, but life really can become beauty from ashes.

When I decided to write this book, I honestly did not know where to begin. As I started jotting down notes and ideas, I decided I would write this book first for my two girls, Sofia and Lily, because if I write it for them, it will keep me honest. They are currently still young, 15 and 10 years old, and there is so much they do not know about their mom’s past because all they see is the person I am today. I also wanted to write this for Sofia and Lily in hopes that they would learn from my mistakes and not walk some of the roads that I did. I want them, as well, to realize that mistakes, emotional damage, and so much more can be overcome. Secondly, though, I write this book for the person who has experienced any of the things I have gone through or something completely different. All of us experience challenges, uncertainties, loss, pain. No one is free from adversity in life. But we do not have to let the struggles have us or define who we are.

I feel like I need to paint a picture for you that will somewhat explain the title of the book and give insight into where we are going. I do not believe that there is any such thing as an inopportune moment, at least not with God and the way He talks to me. Let me be totally honest; I was taking a shower when God popped this idea into my head. It was February 23, 2021, on a Tuesday evening. I was not even thinking about this book at the time. I was washing shampoo out of my hair. Then suddenly, God dropped some specific thoughts about the introduction to this book and the first chapter into my sudsy head. Sometimes we have to be in a still, quiet place of peace, warm water running down, steam rising up and just washing the day away, relaxed, in order to hear God speak. And that is exactly how it was that night. So, let me share with you something that I hope will shine some light and make you think.

When I think about my life, I can unequivocally say that much of my healing had to do with finding truth. Truth that had always been there but had been concealed from me. On the occasion I have some free time to watch television, I must admit that I enjoy shows that have to do with the legal system. Whether I am immersed in a show centered around police or the courts, I am quite fascinated with how truth is found. I get caught up in all the details and how the story unravels. I realize these are merely television shows but there is a reason, I believe, these shows are so popular. And for me, it raises the question, what is it in us the seeks the truth? Is it our hearts? Is it our minds? Or is it all about justice?

Many times, possibly, truth fails to be respectfully represented in our lives. Just as in a court case where lawyers meticulously present strong, well-orchestrated arguments for their clients, but in the end, there is only one truth. There are times that we hear stories of an inmate being released from prison after years of incarceration because new evidence had been procured that exonerated the person accused. It is at that moment that we realize truth was not fully represented previously.

As humans, something arises in us that compels us to search out truth. Some might say that it is our hearts that seek truth. It is our hearts that normally drive our actions. Others might insist that it is our minds that forge for truth. Our minds hold a complex framework full of questions seeking resolve. Then there’s justice. Justice evokes something in us that needs closure. Justice gives certitude to a “wrong” done to us in life.

Whether it is our hearts, our minds, or justice that seeks truth, one thing is certain…truth can have a shadow cast upon it when it is seen through human eyes. Eyes that are sometimes tainted by trauma, pain, abuse, indifference and all sorts of other things. I realize I switched gears here but there is a reason for it. Please stay with me.

I personally feel that I found truth with my heart. Our hearts are complex and beautiful. It is our hearts that can be touched in such ways to inspire change. Our hearts are what open us up to the world around us. If you have ever been in love before, you know what it feels like when that special someone enters the room, and you can’t help but smile. Or you hear that person’s voice, and you feel all warm inside. And when that person holds you, the world stops for a moment. My heart is where my story begins. And I cannot say my heart is also where my story ends because my story is still being written. And so is yours.

So much of our lives are based on perspective. Perspective is the ability, wisdom, and knowledge to comprehend what is important and what isn’t. Traumatic events that we have...