How To Have EPIC SEX (eBook)

Disposition

Do you know the difference between dominant and submissive?

Examples of dominant behavior:

• Do you want to be in control and set the rules, even during sex?
• Do you dislike it when you have nothing to say and instead must do what others tell you to do?
• Do you like to give orders and say what you want?

If you answered "yes" to all three questions, then you are probably dominant. Dominant people generally feel rather strong and confident with a high level of self-confidence. Dominant people like to determine what goes on and make the rules. Dominant people love to exercise power, even during sex.

However, there are quite a few people who use dominant behavior to cover up their insecurity or to show that they seem to be very tough. And then there are the narcissists, but that topic is too big to be covered here.

Sadism

Sadistic people find it sexually and/or mentally stimulating when they can inflict pain, oppress, or humiliate their sexual partner. It is not uncommon for sexually dominant behavior to go hand in hand with sadism.

Examples of submissive behavior:

• Do you like to subordinate yourself?
• Do you like to do what others say?
• Do you have fantasies in which you are the weaker one, and someone rules over you and gives you orders?

If you answered "yes" to these three questions, you are probably feeling submissive. Submissive people tend to look for dominant partners to act out this willed inferiority.

Masochism

Masochistically inclined people can convert a specific and limited form of pain into sexual or mental pleasure. It is also not uncommon for submissively inclined people to also be masochistic.

There are quite a few men who are used to having a lot of power professionally, culturally, or socially and who can therefore enjoy it very much when they let go of this power for a few hours and visit a dominatrix instead. At a dominatrix, they apparently lose all power and slip for a limited time into the role of a slave, who may even have to endure a certain amount of pain, be humiliated, and perhaps must be at the dominatrix's service for some games. Such men live out their submissive side exclusively in their sexuality.

Of course, there are also women who are dominant in everyday life and highly successful professionally and want to take a different role in bed. In their sexuality, they enjoy being able to let go of responsibility, clear their heads of all worries and only feel as a woman who has great sex with a dominant man.

Neutral behavior

You do not feel dominant, nor do you like being submissive. Sometimes you enjoy holding the reins, and sometimes you enjoy being led. That is neutral behavior. I think most people are neutrally inclined with a few deviations to one side or the other.

Switcher

• Are you sometimes totally keen to be in control, but also have just as much desire to be submissive?
• Do you find taking only one role boring?
• Are you able to play both roles?

If you answered "yes" to these three questions, you are probably a switcher, a role changer. For you, it is important to live out both sides. Sometimes you can live out only one side with one partner and with the next partner, perhaps only the other side. If you are with a neutral partner, it will probably be more difficult to live out your dominant or submissive tendencies.

More about this in the chapter about BDSM

In everyday life, it is difficult for two dominant or even two submissive people to experience a fulfilled sexuality, because the matching counterpart is missing. It is like trying to connect two plus or two minus poles of a battery. There is no current flowing.

A fulfilled sexuality, and therefore epic sex, is only possible if the inclination fits together, and you do not have to change for your partner. Never let anyone force you to do something that does not match your inclination. Any nonconsensual act is rape and not only an absolute deal-breaker, but also a criminal offense which can irreparably damage or even destroy your body, soul, and spirit.

If sex is not consensual, it is not OK, it’s a blatant breach of trust and a nogo. Consensuality is the most important rule in sex, but more on that later.

What sensual type are you?

Which stimuli appeal to you the most? We can be sexually aroused by various sensory perceptions/stimuli.

These include the:

• eyes
• nose
• skin
• lips/tongue
• ears

Your own sexual fantasies can also be very stimulating. Many switch on their own mental porn cinema for masturbation. What then runs in the inner cinema is private and must have nothing to do with reality. The inner cinema has many advantages over porn. It stimulates our imagination and is not as addictive as porn can be.

Visual stimuli:

Men are much more aroused by visual stimuli than women. That is the reason why women like to dress sexy, put on seductive makeup and take care of their hair. It is also why there's so much seductive underwear for women.

Women are, of course, also aroused by optical charms, but not as much as men. That is why sending a penis pic to a woman is usually in vain and, even more, a harassment on top of that. For men, on the other hand, the image of your vulva could trigger the highest arousal.

The scent

After the eyes, the nose is the most important test instrument when choosing a partner. Only those who smell good are allowed to come close. Freshly showered or bathed, we smell only the care products used. Our own scent then develops more quickly or correspondingly slowly, depending on the temperature and the clothes we wear.

By the way, women have twice as many scent glands as men. Most of them are in the genital and anal regions. There are also scent glands in the arm pits and around the nipples, which also release pheromones (sexual attractants).

The scent of each person is unique.

Touch

The skin is our largest sensory organ. We feel heat and cold, air movements and every form of touch, from very gentle to painful, through our skin. The skin is our protective shell and at the same time a huge erotic contact surface. Depending on the region, there are different numbers of sensory cells in the skin, which are directly connected to the brain.

There are, particularly, many sensor cells in the skin of our lips and tongue, the nipples, the fingertips and in the genital and anal regions. Every person reacts differently to stimuli. What is already too much for one person, others find boring.

Kissing/licking

Do you remember your first real French kiss? Wasn't that arousing? Because we have so many sensory cells in our lips and on our tongues, any sensual touch goes immediately to the brain and can create pleasure there. French kissing is often one of the first steps to initiate sex.

What turns you on the most? The visuals? Dirty words whispered in your ear? Fingertips on your skin, slowly exploring your body? The scent of men, or all the above? Most of the time, we have one or two preferences that particularly excite us.

Tip:

Find out what makes your lover hot. What sensory type is he? What female scent does she particularly like? How does he like to be touched? When does he likes to kiss and how do you use your tongue most skillfully? There are probably nice women's underwear that look good on you and that he particularly likes to see you in.

Dirty talk

Verbal eroticism, that is, arousing with erotic words and phrases via the ears, is an art. There is a fine line between horniness and disgust, between pushing and overdoing, but it can definitely be a component of epic sex.

The hard part is that everyone has a different threshold for dirty words and phrases. There are people who only want to hear the word penis or vagina. For some, hearing the word “dick” or “fuck,” the mood is gone.

However, there are also people who fall into a laughing fit at the word intercourse and prefer to say “bang” instead. So, it is vastly different how you or your crush reacts to dirty talk.

And there is the temporal component. Sometimes a sentence can be arousing, and the same sentence 10 minutes later is just embarrassing.

There are also people who can utter very dirty sentences in a state of ecstasy, but then feel ashamed for that after sex and their satisfaction.

If you prefer tender loving sex, your language during sex will be more loving and restrained. If you prefer more hardcore or BDSM practices, your language will be a bit more direct, dirty, or even aggressive. If you both like how you do it, you are doing everything right.

Ask your partner what words he finds stimulating during sex. And above all, ask him what words or phrases immediately kill his lust. Also, find the right tone for you, depending on how you are inclined.

If you are into dirty talk, encourage your partner to whisper dirty words in your ear. Some like it; others will not do it because it will make them feel stupid or embarrassed. Do not expect any porn movie-like dialogue from your partner.

Tip:

Blindfold him and then watch a porn movie together. Describe the situation to him and touch him only very gently and not where he likes it most. Let him wriggle and ask him to...