Maneuvering Through Life's Challenges, Choices and Changes (eBook)

Chapter 1

Recognizing a Need for Change

Life challenges, particularly those that are viewed as “personal changes” – those that impact family, marriages, and self – occur periodically throughout our lives and are often unexpected. Some of you may ask, “Why address life changes?” Well, ask yourself, are you the same as you were five, twelve or fifteen years ago? I am sure your response would be, “absolutely not!” If you are like millions of others, you have probably changed your look over the years. Aspects of change have occurred, and they did not stop with your appearance. Personally, I think a new physical look generates a new look on life.

“Recognizing change” can occur at any time. That is, when you are an analytical thinker. You may ask why? Analytical thinkers are deliberate thinkers. We think about something all the time. A plan, an idea, a goal. Your mind is actively engaged when are an analytical thinker. I recall recognizing change while in the shower. I was simply thinking about the events of the day, then the answer to an issue was there. I could see it in my head. The recognizing change motivates you to move forward.

Evolving, change, and new directives. Different words with the same meaning. Thinking practically about change only confirms that who you are today is the result of yesterday’s experiences. The reason you feel that you can accomplish something is because you have done it before. A few years ago, I purchased a book titled FIRSTS: Women Who Are Changing the World published by TIME (2017), for my daughter’s birthday. I acquired one for myself as well. One of the interviewees, Nikki Haley, the first Indian American to be an elected governor, stated that every person has war stories. Things happen in your life that change and challenge you, they’re uncomfortable, but when you get through them you realize that these things have shaped you, and are the reason you are the way you are.

How can you decrease the turmoil of change? Once you have decided that a change is needed, you can then move forward. Ask yourself, what is it you want to change – your job, your social life, or a habit? It really doesn’t matter what your goal is, change is change. You follow the same steps.

We all live for something; we set both short- and long-term goals. Often these goals may become apparent in your dreams. Minister Robert Schuller, author of the book Power Thoughts (1993), stated that if we can dream it, then we can do it! I am a believer. He also states that we can remove negativity with positive thoughts. From my perspective, my dreams are movie versions of my subconscious. My dreams facilitate the realization that my goals are achievable.

Live the Life of Your Dreams: Be brave enough to live the life of
your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others.

—Roy T. Bennett

Visualization is a tool I use frequently. Doing so results in my development of an achievable plan. Sometimes it is not an easy task, usually because we are our own worst enemies. We tend to talk ourselves out of pursuing something; a proven form of self-defense and a process we all have used at one time or another. Self-defensive behavior can be manifested in numerous ways. Our mind starts to tell us maybe the venture is too costly or would require too many man-hours for completion. For me, it is time to dissect my goals and to again determine exactly what success looks like to me. As I stated previously, acknowledging change is the first step required.

There are various methods for visualizing your future-self. A vision board, the utilization of both short- and long-term goal setting, and dreaming are just a few. I have used all three at various times in my life. All processes work either independently or in a combination; it just depends on your preference. From my perspective, however, your dreams are the most powerful.

Your dreams allow you to see your future-self; they keep your goals real. Your dreams are presented to you in action, therefore largely believable. When you can visualize your success, regardless of the circumstances, you are setting your internal encouragement and determination button! Your focus and environment are geared in the direction of personal growth. Technically, you have already decided where you are going; visioning your future-self is about recognizing and accepting there will be challenges along the way. Acknowledging that your goal is attainable is sustained by your dreams. You must believe in your self-worth. You must believe in yourself; the internal force of self-achievement is a catalyst for success. We must not forget that at times we will reach a plateau, or a point where we do not see ourselves moving forward. This may be a time where pausing will help you to rethink, refocus, and maybe re-plan.

When I was hired as Director for Patient Services at the College of Dental Medicine, Augusta University, I was fortunate to work with two great clinicians, Dr. Alphee Bouffard and Dr. Allen Braselton. Both physicians served as a source for listening and providing feedback for personal and professional business initiatives. They were my first point of contact when I received a campus-circulated memorandum regarding a review of the university pay scale. Apparently, a country-wide comparison was completed among similar higher-level educational facilities throughout the United States. The review included the average base salary for my position at similarly sized organizations. The amount posted was noticeably higher than what I received when I was hired, four years earlier. I decided to request an adjustment to my current base salary. Please understand, I felt appreciated, I understood my importance within the organization’s success plan, and I had already received favorable compensation in the form of annual raises. Additionally, my proposals for operational changes within the predoc program were favorably received, accepted, and adopted. There is no doubt that my managerial and decision-making skills facilitated the growth in responsibilities and staffing of my department. That said, from my perspective, how could I not request favorable consideration after receiving and reading the memorandum? My request was specific; I asked for my base to fall within the parameters of the study. My packet included copies of my credentials, my performance evaluations, and an overview of the results from the managerial changes I had already implemented within the department. Additionally, I did not hide from my employer the interest I had received from a headhunter regarding another managerial position. The company had already secured my airfare to Maryland for a two-day interview. I had already decided that if I was not offered the requested adjustment, I was going to start seriously considering job offers. From my perspective, I already had a successful military career serving in the US Army for over twenty-four years, retiring as a Command Sergeant Major. This is the highest rank an enlisted person can achieve. Success came with determination, goal setting and decision-making; I viewed this current position as my post-retirement job, primarily for self-satisfaction. I really enjoy managing, teaching, mentoring. I desired a position that provided me all of that and, meanwhile, challenged me. The Director for Patient Services was that job! However, after my military service I was learning corporate world behavior. Taking a risk is not an option, you will never know the outcome unless you press further. Although, receiving the memo did generate negative thoughts, I was ecstatic and surprised upon receiving favorable approval to my request. Furthermore, leadership had approved the 5% annual raise I was scheduled to receive in three months’ time. The self-acknowledgment of the skills you bring to an organization has a lot do with establishing your self-worth. My work ethic was demonstrated daily by my personal and social competence. There were no managerial issues from my team as result of my awareness of relationship management. I had proven myself as a stable HR resource and expert within the department. When I assumed the role of Director for Patient Services, my credentials included both undergrad and graduate degrees in HR. That acceptance facilitated my unforeseen informal mentorship role for staff and students throughout the organization. My tenure at the Dental College lasted fifteen years; from 2000 to 2015. During that time, I mentored three employees to earn their masters’ degrees, and another two to complete their bachelors’. Others went on to find other employment resulting in promotions. My advice regarding personnel issues was often sought out from entry level employees, to first-line supervisors to department heads. I also demonstrated my leadership skills, by actively serving as a team player and volunteering to co-chair an annual March of Dimes walk. My team raised over $1,000 that year. It was an activity that brought me much joy. I accepted the challenge, built a team, and shared my experience and knowledge throughout the organization. My reputation among the college resulted in many drop-ins and referrals. I became known as the go-to person throughout the college. Additionally, I was the point of contact for the department when my supervisor, the associate dean, was unavailable. There was no hesitation when I decided to request for a base salary increase; I felt comfortable in doing so. I recognized my self-worth within the organization. What did they expect after publishing the...