The Toddler Survival Guide (eBook)

Get the baby gates, lock the cupboards, and load up Elmos Song, toddlers are on the loose.The Toddler SurvivalGuideis here to get you to the other side. Toddlers and zombies both communicate mainly through groans, clumsily trail after you everywhere you go (especially into the bathroom in the toddlers case), and--upon entering your life--leave you frazzled, on edge, and deeply sleep deprived.The Toddler Survival Guide is a hilarious parody of Max Brookss The Zombie Survival Guide (and survival guides in general) that will leave parents laughing out loud even as it provides practical advice on how they can make it to the other side of toddlerhood intact. Written by parents who have studied toddlers up-close in their natural habitat, the book will cover survival skills including how you can outfit your home to outlast a toddler occupation (baby gate, cabinet locks, wine), how you can subdue an angry toddler (Elmos Song, mac and cheese, smartphone) and even how you can safely venture out in public together without your toddler--or you--bursting into tears.Chapters include: Preparing the Home for a Toddler Invasion, Communicating with Your Toddler, Feeding a Toddler, Socializing Your Toddler, Grooming Your Toddler, Venturing into Public with a Toddler, Documenting Your Life with a Toddler, Vacationing with a Toddler, Toddler Entertainment and Birthdays, Surviving Bedtime and Potty Training, Technology and the Toddler, and Parental Self-Preservation.