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“Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.”
– Pete Caroll
I grew up in a football family. We live for the game. It’s no mystery where I got my love for the game—my dad is a professional football fanatic. My dad has been a football fan since he was a little kid. Dad played football at school, and at home with his brothers while growing up. He watches every game he can on TV, and gets tickets every time his favorite team comes to Seattle. Football is in our blood. Not only do we watch it all the time, we keep up on all the sports news and the progress and injuries of all the players, and we study the matchups of the upcoming week. We both play fantasy football, so we monitor every player for every team; especially our favorite team, the Oakland Raiders. Go, Silver and Black!
Football is special at our house. How important is it? Let’s just say that Super Bowl Sunday is as big as Christmas and Easter at the Stuart home. It’s a really, really, really big deal!
My first memory of going to a Raiders game (at only five years old!) was when I got to go on the field and meet the players and coaches. That was the moment that my love of football was cemented in my heart. Seeing the drive and power of the players, focused on a single goal, lit a fire in me, and I had to play too. So, at 6 years old, I started throwing and passing the ball.
As I grew older, I continued to play, and in middle school, my friends were football players and teammates. Playing football is an education all by itself. We learned what it meant to work together and trust each other, on the field and off. Hours of practice taught me discipline. It taught me to respect people for their skills and their integrity. The game does not necessarily define you—but if you let it, it refines you into a man of character.
The Right Coach Starts a Fire…
I have so much passion for football that I now teach it to a dozen or so kids in my neighborhood, once a week. But there was a time when my love of the game was nearly snuffed out because of some bad coaching I experienced early on in my career.
That’s why I am writing this book, because I want every coach out there to understand how to make the game into a passion for the kids who are playing. My theory is that if you can see just a spark of interest for football, in a child, the right coach can turn that spark into a blazing fire. It is a combination of encouraging, mentoring, and pushing them to stretch their limits, while sharing your own passion for the game.
Football is a remarkable sport. It requires unity, teamwork, and discipline. Under the right circumstances, it will bring an entire community together. I love seeing people work together for a victory. The thrill of your team winning, and the intensity of knowing that the eleven players on the field are on your side, is powerful.
The strategic complexity of the different plays is so compelling. It is fascinating to analyze and read the unfolding drama in a series of defensive and offensive plays as the game goes on. The importance of communication between the players is crucial as they try to out-think the other team. The very best analysts can see what the players are going to do before they even do it.
I get an adrenaline rush from seeing players execute nice catches or tackles. I get that feeling even when I’m watching the opposing team doing it, because I can appreciate the skill and hours of practice that it takes to master those techniques. Football is a challenging sport that demands excellence from everyone involved.
And the Wrong Coach Quenches the Flame
My own experiences with poor coaches could have killed my love for the game, but it meant too much to me to let that happen. Unfortunately, my experience is not unique. There are many children, even some of them with the potential to become professional players, who will never reach their football potential, all because they encountered a coach who crushed their spirit.
When I first began playing, I knew that I had some challenges ahead. One of the biggest? I am a pretty skinny kid. I have a body better suited for the swim team than for football. But the swim team is not where my passion lies. I was born to toss the pigskin and race down the field.
Sadly, when I played tackle football for my middle school, the coaches at school weren’t truly passionate about football. It was just part of the job. They looked at their lists, saw where there was a hole that needed to be filled, and filled the slot. They didn’t even see me.
The football coaches set me up as a lineman, which didn’t really fit my body type or my skill set. As a result, I often felt insecure and embarrassed. Being put in as a lineman never felt like a good position for me. I had dreamed of being a wide receiver, and I knew that I would be good at it, but they wouldn’t put me there. It felt as though I was being set up to fail. I was going against a bunch of big linemen, and everyone was just pushing me over because I was a skinny little kid! I really didn’t want to go to practice, but missing practice meant I couldn’t even get into the next game, so I never missed a practice. I didn’t talk to the coaches because they were not interested in discussing changes or fostering the goals of individual players. They weren’t approachable at all. They were there to get paid and put on a game. Their negativity was pretty scary, to be honest.
Worse than that, they really didn’t understand the value of different types of plays. We would run the same play almost all the time, at every game. The coaches rarely took the time to talk to the kids, and never seemed to make the attempt to understand them. Out of the entire team, the coaches favored two kids who showed exceptional talent, and they were the ones who got all the attention and could talk to the coaches.
The sense of a unified team was completely lost because these coaches failed at being approachable. I often wonder what a success the team would have been if all our skills and abilities had been properly assessed.
It was almost too late when I finally did end up playing wide receiver at the end of the season. After months of wasted practice and lost games, it seemed like they had realized that I wasn’t really in the right spot (At last!). But it took my coaches a very long time to come to that conclusion. How many of my teammates were in the same boat? What a waste!
Which is why I decided that this book needed to be written. The main thing I want potential coaches to think about is that this is the start of a child’s football career. They need coaches who are prepared to guide them in the right direction. Coaches must have a mentorship mindset. It is their duty to find the players who love the game and will give their best effort.
If you are thinking of becoming a kid’s coach, that means that you must support and lead each individual—you must do your utmost to bring out the various skills in every child on your team. You must talk to them. Ask them what they are good at and what they care about. Take the time to learn what they believe. You have been granted an incredible opportunity to shape a child’s future—treat it like a sacred commission, not an extra chore!
It is vital for you to believe in them—believe in them and make them believe in themselves. Give them the fundamentals of the game, and teach them the proper way of playing, because they really don’t understand it yet—they haven’t really started on their personal journey in the world’s greatest sport.
Qualities of Coaching
A good coach must be a leader. You have a big job ahead, and a lot of the work comes in communicating your ideas clearly. As a coach, you must be ready to deal with difficult personalities (both children and parents), unrealistic expectations, and plain old goofiness.
The greatest challenge in the current system is dealing with these kids’ lack of knowledge. They don’t really know what they are doing or where they could improve. You need to guide them in the right direction and foster a growth mindset. You have to teach them the fundamentals of the game, and you have to teach them how to put that knowledge to practical use on the playing field. You must respect the team and people around you. You may think, “They’ll get my respect when they’ve darned well earned it,” but that attitude is going to cost you, my friend. Show your team courtesy and respect, and you will receive the same. Children learn best by example, so be an excellent example. You may be the only one they have.
You need to have experience playing, or at the very least, an in-depth love for football. You must understand the rules of the game, and learn them well so that you can instruct the players on your team. If you care deeply about this, your team will,...