Tales of Transformation

Salman Akhtar, MD, is Professor of Psychiatry at Jefferson Medical College and a Training and Supervising Analyst at the Psychoanalytic Center of Philadelphia. He has served on the editorial boards of The International Journal of Psychoanalysis, the Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, and the Psychoanalytic Quarterly. His nearly 400 publications include 99 books, of which the following 20 are solo-authored: Broken Structures (1992), Quest for Answers (1995), Inner Torment (1999), Immigration and Identity (1999), New Clinical Realms (2003), Objects of Our Desire (2005), Regarding Others (2007), Turning Points in Dynamic Psychotherapy (2009), The Damaged Core (2009), Comprehensive Dictionary of Psychoanalysis (2009), Immigration and Acculturation (2011), Matters of Life and Death (2011), The Book of Emotions (2012), Psychoanalytic Listening (2013), Good Stuff (2013), Sources of Suffering (2014), No Holds Barred (2016), A Web of Sorrow (2017), Mind, Culture, and Global Unrest (2018), and Silent Virtues (2019). Dr Akhtar has delivered many prestigious invited lectures including a Plenary Address at the 2nd International Congress of the International Society for the Study of Personality Disorders in Oslo, Norway (1991), an Invited Plenary Paper at the 2nd International Margaret S. Mahler Symposium in Cologne, Germany (1993), an Invited Plenary Paper at the Rencontre Franco-Americaine de Psychanalyse meeting in Paris, France (1994), a Keynote Address at the 43rd IPA Congress in Rio de Janiero, Brazil (2005), the Plenary Address at the 150th Freud Birthday Celebration sponsored by the Dutch Psychoanalytic Society and the Embassy of Austria in Leiden, Holland (2006), and the Inaugural Address at the first IPA-Asia Congress in Beijing, China (2010). Dr Akhtar is the recipient of numerous awards including the American Psychoanalytic Association’s Edith Sabshin Award (2000), Columbia University’s Robert Liebert Award for Distinguished Contributions to Applied Psychoanalysis (2004), the American Psychiatric Association’s Kun Po Soo Award (2004) and Irma Bland Award for being the Outstanding Teacher of Psychiatric Residents in the country (2005). He received the highly prestigious Sigourney Award (2012) for distinguished contributions to psychoanalysis. In 2103, he gave the Commencement Address at graduation ceremonies of the Smith College School of Social Work in Northampton, MA. Dr Akhtar’s books have been translated into many languages, including German, Italian, Korean, Persian, Romanian, Serbian, Spanish, and Turkish. A true Renaissance man, Dr Akhtar has served as the Film Review Editor for The International Journal of Psychoanalysis, and is currently serving as the Book Review Editor for the International Journal of Applied Psychoanalytic Studies. He has published 9 collections of poetry and serves as a Scholar-in-Residence at the Inter-Act Theatre Company in Philadelphia.

PROLOGUE





What is not in this book?



Part I

Finding my way to psychoanalysis





1. Delusion and stage acting

2. A nagging question

3. Papa!

4. A benevolent prediction

5. Otto Fenichel in a navy blue suit

6.How can one predict such things?

7. Streaking in New Jersey

8. A class act

9. Don’t mess with the master

10. Nipples

11. Self-castration and a man called John Buckman

12. The grand permission

13. Refusing to listen



PART II

Lessons I received from my teachers, supervisors, and mentors





14. The renowned analyst who traumatized me

15. Why not Broadway?

16. Rare indeed

17. To pee or not to peeIndian miniatures and Jackson Pollock

18. Indian miniatures and Jackson Pollock

19. What else can a man want?

20. Unlike Jacob Freud

21. Illusionless man

22. Let us give the boy a chance!

23. A true gentleman

24. Ten percent goes a long way!

25. Naughty—1

26.Schizophrenia

27.The Brazilian panic

28. Amazing grace

29. A diligent follow-up

30. From ‘Liquid Steel’ to ‘Deep Throat’

31. A brutal transgression

32. Seven features of a proper apology

33. A missed opportunity

34. The man who laid everything on the line

35. Leonard Horowitz eats baklava



PART III

What my colleagues and peers taught me





36. An act of genuine empathy

37. The mourning pill

38. Eleven hours in Oslo

39. From Stephen Ward to Ivan Ward

40. A gentleman from Virginia introduced me to Charles Darwin

41. On an escalator in Toronto

42. Dominic and Damien

43. Psychoanalysis and Idi Amin

44. My own narrowmindedness

45. Book review—1

46. Hardly arrogant

47. Circumcision—1

48. Bangles

49. Un-associated

50. No, I did not sleep with Mark Moore and Ira Brenner

51. Frank Maleson made me lose a million dollars

52. Ralph Fishkin made me think

53. An editor’s gift

54. Circumcision—2



PART IV

Clinical work turned out to be my ‘royal road’ to learning





55. Long before the Rain Man

56. A son by any other name

57. Silence and stillness

58. The man who shot a pregnant woman

59. Between yes and no

60. Learning to speak from animals

61. Please don’t give me any money

62. A now moment

63. Let us do it this Sunday

64. Naming the female genital

65. First patience, then act of faith

66. The boat never sinks

67. Curtailing the greed for interpretation

68. Milk and cookies

69. Ten most important lessons



PART V

The cultural difference between me and my professional surround became an adjunct instructor of mine





70. Meeting Masud Khan

71. One friendly nudge, one award, and two books

72. Who pays?

73. From Evelyne Schwaber to Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks

74. Trans-fixed

75. ‘You are not one of us!’

76. The altruistic core of 9/11

77. A dam across the Ganges

78. ‘What else can you expect from these Muslims?’

79. My African American struggle

80. Culture, narcissism, or sorrow?

81. ‘Humbug!’

82. A good reason to not have sex?



PART VI

Insights that arose from dealing with students, supervisees, and sundry audiences





83. Two flower vases

84. Can water cure cancer?

85. On being called a ‘good man’

86. Tennis as a disguise for psychoanalysis

87. Naughty—2

88. My French connection

89. Can a believer be a psychoanalyst?

90. Who do I belong to?

91. Is really old stuff any good?

92. Seventy-three plus twenty-five



PART VII

Writing, editing, and publishing ‘saved’ me





93. Writing aids

94. Why I write

95. Writing as manic defense

96. Why I edit books

97. On being a midwife

98. A man of few words

99. Book Review—2

100. Writing poetry

101. One final thought



EPILOGUE





A few amazing coincidences



Permissions

Acknowledgments

About the author

The other ninety-nine books by the author

Name index