The Sudden Loss Survival Guide

Chelsea Hanson is a nationally recognized grief educator and founder of With Sympathy Gifts and Keepsakes, which is an online memorial gift store and grief support center. Hanson found her true purpose in grief support and legacy work and graduated from the University of Wisconsin – Madison as a grief support specialist with certifications in holistic life coaching and life legacy preservation. By connecting her 20 years of business expertise with her true calling, she is an entrepreneur who specializes in grief products and programs to help others transform personal setbacks into opportunities to live a meaningful life. Chelsea transcended unexpected loss over time, losing both her father and mother at a young age. She now lives and works in Green Bay, Wisconsin, with her husband and son. Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, is both a bereaved parent and a bereaved child. She has focused her practice on issues of grief, loss, and transition for more than 40 years. As a grief counselor, Tousley administers and moderates GriefHealingDiscussionGroups.com and runs GriefHealing.com. Tousley is the author of Finding Your Way through Grief: A Guide for the First Year and The Final Farewell: Preparing for and Mourning the Loss of Your Pet. She is a frequent contributor to healthcare journals, newsletters, and magazines for the public, and has written several articles and book chapters in the professional nursing and medical literature. Her online articles appear on the Grief Healing Blog, as well as the Open to Hope Foundation and the Grief Toolbox websites. She is a registered nurse with a master's degree in Advanced Psychiatric-Mental Health Nursing. She has earned the Board Certified TeleMental Health Provider (BC-TMH) credential and was awarded the Fellow in Thanatology (FT) certification by the Association for Death Education and Counseling. She and her husband Michael live Sarasota, Florida. Jan Warner's husband died in 2009, and she started the blog, Grief Speaks Out, which continues today. When Warner later created Grief Speaks Out, an online community, she never imagined that it would become a loving, supportive community to over 2 million people worldwide. Warner is the author of Grief Day by Day: Simple Practices and Daily Guidance for Living with Loss. She has a Master’s degree in Counseling and has worked in child abuse and suicide prevention. She owned the bookstore, The Turning Page. She has produced documentaries including The Last Laugh by Ferne Pearlstein and Poetry of Resilience by Katja Esson. She also produced the off-Broadway play, Party Face. Jan is an avid traveler and has been to all 7 continents. Her favorite thing, though, is spending time with her daughter Erin and her granddaughter Gwendolyn. She lives in New York City.

Table of Contents

Introduction

This is a Book of Healing
This is a Book of Transformation
This is a Book of Comfort
How to Use this Book
The Seven Grief Healing Practices
Practicing What You Learn
Noticing Resistance to Healing
Starting A Dedicated Healing Journal
Creating a Safe Place to Grieve
Making Your Healing Sanctuary Meaningful
Using Your Healing Sanctuary

Practice One: Readjust
Understand Sorrow

Journey through Grief
How Will I Get Through Loss?
What Grief Is
What Grief Is Not
How Long Will Grief Last?
What Should I Expect?
Am I Going Crazy?
Why Don’t Others Talk About Death?
Should I Talk About Her/Him?
Where Is My Loved One?
Why Did This Happen
Why Am I Questioning My Faith?
How Do I Make Sense Of This?
Will I Have Closure?
Will Happiness Ever Reappear

Practice Two: Release
Allow and Let Go of Grief

You Can and Will Go On
Choosing Hope
Committing to Healing
Owning Your Grief
Defining Healing
Choosing to Heal with Intention
Affirming Your Intention to Heal
Allowing Your Painful Emotions
Soothing Resistance to Grieving
Letting Go of Emotions
Identifying Cumulative Grief

Practice Three: Renew
Foster A Support System

Caring for Yourself
Reaching Out for Help
Asking for Specific Help
Finding Support From the Right People
Talking About Sorrow
Putting Your Needs First and Expressing Preferences
Being an Advocate for Your Needs and Emotions
Exploring and Breaking Grief Myths
Dealing with Misinformation
Surviving the Milestones
Making Progress
Easing Into Work Challenges
Navigating the Grief Terrain

Practice Four: Reconnect
Develop Ongoing Spiritual Connection

Healing Grief with Spiritual Presence
Using Spiritual Connection
Noticing the Signs
Imagining Heaven
Asking for Without a Doubt Signs
Becoming Familiar with Types of Signs
Not Sensing Signs
Using Meditation
Using Prayer

Practice Five: Reassess
Discover Meaning and Purpose from Loss

Noticing Your Growth
Viewing Today as a Gift
Living Life Authentically
Cultivating Desires from your Authentic Self
Answering the Important Questions
Bringing Joy into Your Life Gradually
Finding Passion and Purpose
Exploring Your Inner Self
Returning to Joy

Practice Six: Reassure
Provide Peace to Those you Love

Revealing Your Heart
Letting Others In
Creating a Legacy Letter
Overcoming Resistance to Sharing Your Message
Crafting Your Legacy Message
Sharing Messages for Future Occasions
Shining On

Practice Seven: Remember
Honor Your Beloved and Memories Creatively

Memorializing Your Loved One
Choosing How to Remember
Repurposing Personal Belongings
Redesigning Jewelry
Linking to Tangible Items
Using Living Memorials
Mourning With Symbols
Remembering Through a Cause
Using Remembrance Practices
Living While Remembering

Epilogue
Suggested Reading
Acknowledgments
​About the Author