Buttercup Saved My Life

The story of one man's dark descent and golden recovery after an unanticipated change of circumstances; an insight into how he recalibrated his thinking during a journey - emotional and geographical - in which he learned much about mental health and the human condition.

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Buttercup is the name of Tony's 1973 VW camper van. She is bright yellow, the colour of golden optimism, and she saved his life. Buttercup Saved My Life is the story of a year in the life of Tony Bown. Shortly after Christmas Day, 2017, his wife of 27 years, Katharine, told him she was leaving him. Her decision was unexpected, and was a shock for Tony, his family, and close friends of the couple. For two months, Tony spiralled into a deepening despair. He did everything he could to save the marriage. He blamed himself for the failure, he pleaded, cajoled, romanced and begged Katharine to reconsider her decision. He believes that, many times, she almost did. Tony reached the point where he knew exactly when, and how, he would take his own life. His depression was so complete, he was so bewildered and confused, that he saw only one logical way forward. The benefits for his family in the long term would far outweigh any short-term pain caused by his action. Importantly, this is a story of hope. From the depth of despair, Toby describes how he re-built his confidence. He tells how his experiences helped him to realise that this was the beginning of a new chapter, as well as the ending of an old one. Advice from friends, his counsellor, and personal experiences permeate the text as a series of 'tips for how to survive an unexpected divorce'. Tony has tried to create the survival manual that did not exist when he was desperately in need. The reader is left with warmth, a faith in humanity and a belief that no challenge is insurmountable.