Get Out of Your Way! (eBook)

...And Finally Get What You Want

Jared James (Autor)

eBook Download: EPUB

2018 | 1. Auflage
200 Seiten
Yorkshire Publishing (Verlag)
978-1-949231-46-5 (ISBN)

In Get Out of Your Way, in-demand speaker and coach, Jared James, breaks down how to get out of your own way, defeat the self-defeating narratives we imprison ourselves with, and finally achieve your full potential.

There are over 7 billion people on the earth, and only one of them can keep you from getting what you want. If you are like most people, your issue is not that you don't know what to do... it's that you don't do it! In Get Out of Your Way, in-demand speaker and coach, Jared James, breaks down how to get out of your own way, defeat the self-defeating narratives we imprison ourselves with, and finally achieve your full potential. Whether you currently run or are starting a business, work for someone else, or just want your life to matter, this book is for you!

HAPPINESS IS OVERRATED

I THINK WE all can agree that our emotions play a powerful role in how we feel and act on a regular basis. And most of us if we were asked what we wanted would respond with something like “I just want to be happy” or “I just want my kids to be happy” or whatever it might be.

I actually have read an article about a particular celebrity, and it always seems to be the same right after they have gone through their third rehab stint or fourth divorce. Almost every article reads the same. “(insert name) is finally in a happy place in her or his life.”

I am going to tell you that I believe this is a big mistake and is part of what leaves so many of us depressed and disappointed.

HAPPINESS IS OVERRATED! Happiness was never supposed to be the goal. It is an emotion that goes up and down and, in many cases, relies on outside forces that we have absolutely no control over. It is an emotion just like anger or anything else. Nobody chooses to get angry, right? People do things that make you angry. So why would you want to leave your “happiness” in the hands of factors that you can’t control? Things happen all the time that don’t make me happy. Are you any different?

Well maybe we should just “choose to be happy.” That’s one of my favorites. Just choose to be happy and you will be happy. As if you don’t really know how you feel and can just fool yourself into believing that you are happy. Keep this up and all you will create is inner conflict which is another monster all by itself that we will discuss later. Eventually, your inner self is going to rise up and yell back at you, “McFly! I don’t care what you say. I’m not happy!”

The next time I go to get on a flight that is taking me home after an event or a long road trip and all I want to do is see my family and the flight gets cancelled, I can tell you right now that I am not happy. No matter how much I can try to tell myself that I am still happy, I’m not! I’m annoyed. I’m disappointed. I’m a lot of different things, but at that moment, happy is not one of them no matter how much I try to choose to be happy about my flight being cancelled.

So what should we do? Should we lower our standards and just live a compromised life with an acceptance that we just aren’t going to be happy? That is not what I am saying at all. What I am saying is that happiness was never the goal. It is an emotion that comes and goes, and yes, when you have it, it is great. I love being happy. I love it when my wife is happy. I love it when my kids are happy. There is almost nothing better, but I don’t always have total control over our level of happiness.

You know what I can control though—my level of gratitude. That’s right. No matter what is going on, whether my flight is cancelled or not, or you get a promotion or not, or you made a sale today or not, or whatever your thing is, you can always control your level of gratitude in any situation you face.

LIST THREE THINGS THAT YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR

I regularly refer to gratitude as the gateway drug to happiness. While I can’t control happiness, as explained above, I can always have available to myself three things that I am grateful for at any given time regardless of what I am going through.

This is important to remember the next time a major commission falls apart that you were counting on or your husband forgets to pick something up after work for you that you reminded him about earlier in the day. Yes, you might be angry or disappointed that he forgot, but aren’t you grateful that you have someone to share your life with?

One person’s list of their three things to be grateful for may be completely different than someone else’s and that’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay—it’s proper.

In the example I used above, I mentioned that your spouse might have forgotten to run an errand for you, but at least, you have someone to share your life with. But you might be single and can’t relate to that example. In your case, you might be grateful that you didn’t tie yourself to the wrong person at a young age and were strong enough to hold out for the right person. You see how this works?

It’s important that you understand the power of shifting your gratefulness as well. Think of it this way. If I am grateful for someone close to me and then I find out that they have been diagnosed with a terminal illness, does that now mean that this whole theory of gratefulness was a farce? Of course not, but you have to know how to shift your gratefulness.

Instead of being grateful that you get to come home to that person every day, you may now be grateful that you got to spend twenty years coming home to them and for everything they taught you along the way. Either way, you always have something to be grateful for!

Don’t allow this life to beat you down because it’s not going to change. Bad things are going to happen. People are going to let you down. Close relatives and friends are going to pass away. I can promise you that, and I can also promise you that you will not enjoy these life events. But I can also promise you that the world will go on, and the way you attack the time given to you on this earth is 100 percent up to you, but it is not going to pause while you figure it out. Figure out now how you will handle difficulty in your life because this is not the playground and you will not get a do over.

So what are three things that you are grateful for? Take a moment to figure it out. Write them down somewhere at first and put them in your pocket. Soon you won’t need them written down, but you have to remind yourself of what you are grateful for until it becomes your natural inclination to think like this, in the same way that you have unconsciously trained yourself to think first of your pain and problems. It takes repetition to create a new patter of thinking.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FEELING AND KNOWING

Growing up attending church for years, I have seen first hand the difference between people that know something with their head and intellect and people that feel something. America is a society that over 90 percent of its population identify themselves as Christians, or followers of Christ, and yet, how many do you think actually live a life that resembles anything that would look like someone that was trying to emulate Christ in their daily life? I think we would agree that we could all have areas or have had moments where if our lives were broadcast on a reality show, there would be inconsistencies. No?

This principle is true in so many areas of our lives but especially so when considering gratefulness. There is a difference between knowing that being grateful can be a powerful force in your life and actually feeling and experiencing it.

If you are having trouble feeling grateful, a great exercise to do is to find people you are grateful for and tell them what they mean to you. Many times the expression you see on their faces goes a long way. Instantly, they are grateful that you took the time to express to them how you feel and experiencing the feeling of making someone else grateful for something you did can work wonders toward helping you actually feel and experience gratefulness and not just know what it is in your head.

GREAT PEOPLE AREN’T GREAT BECAUSE THEY HAVE THE BEST OF EVERYTHING, THEY ARE GREAT BECAUSE THEY MAKE THE BEST OF EVERYTHING

There is this tendency among people to constantly compare themselves to everyone else around them. I really can’t blame people for doing it either because in some cases, it can give you a great gauge of where you stand in comparison to others around you in similar situations. But there is a danger in doing this as well.

I mentioned earlier that we fall into a trap when we compare our inner self to everyone else’s highlight reel because that is where the problem starts.

For most of us, we see the world through a completely different set of lens than those around us. In many cases, when we see someone doing well, we make assumptions about them such as nothing but good things happen to them.

I have been a victim of this many times in my life. If I told you how many times I have been told that “everything I touch turns to gold” or that I was the “golden boy.” As if any successes that I have had or things that I have helped to create in my life had anything to do with the flat out hustle I invested or tough decisions that I have had to make.

Nope. It was just that everything I touched turn to gold. C’mon! Really?! That’s because we tend to focus on the results in other people’s lives and the process in our own. The results are glamorous and fun, but the process is muddy and exhausting.

The truth is that the very successful aren’t successful because they HAVE the best of everything. They are successful because they MAKE the best of everything.

IT’S TIME TO CHANGE THE LENS ON YOUR GLASSES

Too many of us are wasting our energy continually trying to change our circumstances and, in turn, change our lives, but that is a complete waste of time. You can’t always change the situation that you find yourself in, but you can change the meaning that you associate with your situation.

This is a way to metaphorically change the lens...

Erscheint lt. Verlag	15.8.2018
Sprache	englisch
Themenwelt	Sachbuch/Ratgeber ► Gesundheit / Leben / Psychologie ► Lebenshilfe / Lebensführung
ISBN-10	1-949231-46-1 / 1949231461
ISBN-13	978-1-949231-46-5 / 9781949231465

Haben Sie eine Frage zum Produkt?

EPUB (Ohne DRM)
Größe: 222 KB

Digital Rights Management: ohne DRM
Dieses eBook enthält kein DRM oder Kopierschutz. Eine Weitergabe an Dritte ist jedoch rechtlich nicht zulässig, weil Sie beim Kauf nur die Rechte an der persönlichen Nutzung erwerben.

Dateiformat: EPUB (Electronic Publication)
EPUB ist ein offener Standard für eBooks und eignet sich besonders zur Darstellung von Belletristik und Sachbüchern. Der Fließtext wird dynamisch an die Display- und Schriftgröße angepasst. Auch für mobile Lesegeräte ist EPUB daher gut geeignet.

Systemvoraussetzungen:
PC/Mac: Mit einem PC oder Mac können Sie dieses eBook lesen. Sie benötigen dafür die kostenlose Software Adobe Digital Editions.
eReader: Dieses eBook kann mit (fast) allen eBook-Readern gelesen werden. Mit dem amazon-Kindle ist es aber nicht kompatibel.
Smartphone/Tablet: Egal ob Apple oder Android, dieses eBook können Sie lesen. Sie benötigen dafür eine kostenlose App.
Geräteliste und zusätzliche Hinweise

Buying eBooks from abroad
For tax law reasons we can sell eBooks just within Germany and Switzerland. Regrettably we cannot fulfill eBook-orders from other countries.