Amy's Guide to Best Behavior in Japan (eBook)

Amy Chavez has lived in Japan for 25 years, and is proprietor of the Moooo! Bar & Cafe on Shiraishi Island in the Inland Sea, where she helps tourists with reservations, language support, and cultural guidance. She has lived in Japan for 25 years and writes about cultural differences between Japan and the West for the Japan Times, Huffpo, and RocketNews24.

INTRODUCTION



Hospitality and Thoughtfulness in Japan

The Role of the Outsider (You)

Manners = Gratitude



10 Things You Should Never Do in Japan

10 Things You Should Always Do in Japan

Money



talking about money

money envelopes

tipping

monetary gifts

paying the bill at a restaurant

paying someone for their time or for a favor

Anecdote/commentary



Bowing & Shaking Hands



when to bow

how to bow

the head-bow

kowtowing

bowing while exchanging business cards

shaking hands while exchanging business cards

Anecdote/commentary



Conversation



when to speak

voice level

adjusting you speech for non-native speakers

listening

good topics

bad topics (see Taboo Subjects)

making suggestions

how to be firm but polite

asking for help

expressing interest without creating obligation

apologizing

expressing disagreement

expressing disappointment

dealing with embarrassing situations and mistakes

Anecdote/commentary



Taboo Subjects



burakumin

yakuza

suicide

racism

gays/lesbians

foreigners

money

about tattoos and piercings

Anecdote/commentary



Showing Appreciation



thanking

gift-giving

turning thoughtfulness into a habit

returning favors

omiyage

gifts of anticipation

thanking someone the next time you see them

Anecdote/commentary



Romance and Flirting



dating

holding hands

visiting someone's house

dating

sex

texting and use of emoji

Anecdote/commentary



Queuing



waiting to get into a restaurant

queuing on the train platform

middle-aged women who don't que

giving up your seat on the train to an aged person

Anecdote/commentary



Eating in Public



on the train

eating while walking

standing while eating

what to do with your garbage after eating

foods you shouldn't eat on the train to not cause offense (kimchee

etc)

how to put your bento box back together before throwing it away (chopsticks back in sleeve

uneaten food covered with lid and bound with elastic

all that put back into plastic bag)

Anecdote/commentary



Eating in Restaurants



letting your host order for you

choosing shareable dishes

eating leisurely

chopstick etiquette

types of food and protocol (nabe

okonomiyaki

etc)

vegetarians

Anecdote/commentary



Drinking



in public

at parties or functions

ohanami parties

kompai etiquette

pouring beer

refiling others' beer glasses

wine

sake

Anecdote/commentary



Drinking Establishments



izakaya

bars

hostess clubs

cafes Asking for waiter/waitress

paying

tipping

who pays

Anecdote/commentary



Shoes



the genkan

taking off shoes

properly taking off shoes

lining up shoes

using slippers

bare feet & tatami mat

toilet slippers

outdoor slippers

using shoe boxes

Anecdote/commentary



Toilets



J-style

Western style

washlets

hygiene

big and small flush

how to knock on stall door

the "sound princess," old style pit toilets

Anecdote/commentary



At the Hotel



tipping

how to complain

dealing with staff

letting yourself be taken care of

using the bath and other common facilities

Anecdote/commentary



On the Subway/Train/Bus



finding a seat in an unreserved compartment or train

eating

sound levels

use of electronics, headphones, and cell phones

making conversation (or not) with fellow passengers

asking for help

solving ticketing and reservation problems



When You “Take a Meeting” in Japan



greetings

basic workplace etiquette

to bring a gift or not?

to receive a gift or not?

who pays for lunch?

where and when to use your phone

thank yous at day’s end

how to listen

how to say no or “I’ll think about it”



Bringing Good Manners Home With You

Index