6

I walked slowly along the narrow, well worn, dirt trails that wound through the bushes and trees on the upper eastern slope of Buena Vista Park.

I glanced at one man sitting shirtless in the sun and sheltered from the cool afternoon breeze. In the underbrush I noticed part of a shirt and the back of a head bobbing up and down. Most of the men I saw were still cruising.

I ducked to pass through a tunnel of greenery, straightening up when I reached the end and brushing the dust from my jeans. A man with brown curly hair and a beard who looked like Pan in overalls was seated on the low branch of a tree close by. He was smiling and I couldn’t help but smile back.

Hi, he said his eyes wide as I approached.

Beautiful day, isn’t it?

Yes, he said still staring at me. I’m Tommy.

George

Good to meet you, brother, he answered reaching out to take my hand and hold it in his.

After a moment of silence, we both laughed nervously. I moved closer and kissed him. He rested his head against my shoulder and, when I put my arms around him, he breathed deeply and held me tightly.

Do you want to go up there? I asked indicating a more secluded place in the park.

No, he said shaking his head. Why don’t we go to my house? It’s not very far from here.

It was a pleasant surprise for me. The first time any of the men I met there invited me home. Most preferred to have sex in the park, often without even talking.

Sometimes I found sex outdoors very exciting and quite gratifying. At other times it was merely a physical release that took care of a need that might have been better satisfied with someone else in another place and under different circumstances.

Tommy and I walked along Haight Street holding hands. It was wonderful being affectionate in public without fearing violence or verbal abuse. We said little along the way but a lot of emotion was being communicated through our fingers and the pressure of our two hands. I felt very good about being with Tommy, even though we had just met, and was continually aroused by the warmth that flowed between us.

One of the first things I noticed when we got to the house on Page Street where Tommy lived were the Indian devotional pictures on the walls. I wondered if the place was an ashram but decided it was wiser not to ask.

Tommy spread a sleeping bag out on the brown shag rug in the living room and closed the door to insure our privacy. We sat holding hands and looking at one another for a while, both of us smiling. I leaned forward to kiss him. He closed his eyes and moaned softly.

Our lovemaking progressed gradually with lots of kisses and hugs. We took our time undressing, savoring each moment together. Even after we both climaxed, we continued kissing and hugging.

Can you stay for dinner? he asked as we lay side-by-side still smiling and holding hands.

Sure.

It’s my turn to cook so I have to go out and buy food. Come on, let’s get dressed. We can go shopping together.

Again we held hands as we went from one neighborhood store to another gathering the ingredients for the meal he was going to prepare. Few people seemed to notice our intimacy except for those Tommy said hello to along the way.

Don’t forget rehearsal is at one o’clock tomorrow, a young black man reminded him.

What kind of rehearsal is it? I asked Tommy as we walked back to the house with the groceries.

For a rock band. I play electric guitar. We’re just starting out. We don’t even have a name yet. We’re going to play a free concert in the park in a couple of months.

Two of his roommates, Marianne and Jack, were home when we arrived back at Page Street. After Tommy introduced us, they went back to their room and closed the door. Another roommate, Cathy, same in while Tommy was slicing vegetables.

Do I have enough time to wash my hair? she asked.

I think so, Tommy said looking at the clock and the pots on the stove. It’ll be at least thirty or forty minutes before we eat. I want a few minutes to meditate before dinner.

Tommy kissed me before going into the living room and closing the door behind him. I sat alone in the kitchen looking through an old copy of Mad Magazine I found. The house was quiet except for the sound of running water in the bathroom.

Marianne came into the kitchen and put a kettle on the stove.

Would you like some peppermint tea? she asked me.

Sure.

Cathy came out of the bathroom wearing a robe, her hair wrapped in a towel. The two women nodded to one another. Tommy checked to see if the food was ready. Jack brought two more chairs to the table and Marianne carried a wooden box in from the utility room.

The table was set with plates, bowls, and chopsticks. The main course was a vegetable stew with zucchini, carrots, onions, and tofu spiced with tamari and fresh ginger root. This was served with brown rice and a large salad of lettuce, tomatoes, alfalfa sprouts, and sunflower seeds with an oil and vinegar dressing I found a bit tart for my taste.

I helped Tommy wash the dishes. He suggested going out for ice cream. It was cool outside so he lent me a sweater. We walked arm in arm.

We each ordered a double scoop on a sugar cone, which was somewhat of a mistake for me. I forgot how hard it was to eat without having it drip from my mustache and beard. Back at the house I washed the sticky mess from my hands and face.

We’ll have to sleep in the kitchen tonight, Tommy said.

I helped him move the table and chairs against the wall. He laid the sleeping bag on a layer of foam rubber. Long after he fell asleep, I was awake listening to the hum of the refrigerator motor a few feet away from my head.

It’s cold out tonight! Tommy said when he arrived at the Castro Street flat the following evening.

I hope it doesn’t get any worse, I replied. We have central heating but our furnace isn’t working.

I woke up during the night shivering even though Tommy and I were cuddling close together. I went to the closet and took out the wool overcoat I hadn’t worn since my return to California and spread it out on the bed over the blanket before getting back under the covers.

Look at that! It’s fucking snowing! I heard Sal call out from his room. It’s a good thing I have an electric blanket.

I slipped out of bed again, went to the window, and pulled up the shade. In the early morning light, snow was visible on the trees and roofs of the houses on the hill, a rare sight in the city.

What is it? Tommy asked.

Snow.

Come on. Not in San Francisco.

You don’t believe me? Come over here and look.

It’s too cold. I’m freezing, he said as I tried pulling him out of bed. Stop it!

Over there, see it? I said when I dragged him to the window.

It’s beautiful! Brrr. Let’s get back to bed.

Maybe we should both get dressed and then get back into bed, Tommy said.

I’ve got a better idea. Let’s move the mattress into Dennis and Robin’s room. They’ve got a fireplace and wood to burn.

Dennis and Robin were startled when we entered their room carrying the mattress.

Hey, what’s going on?

It’s snowing!

What?

They both got up to look for themselves and then dove back under the covers of their bed. I started a fire in the fireplace. Once the wood began to blaze, the four of us were comfortably warm but too excited to go back to sleep.

Dennis made tea and we sat and talked for a while.

That’s one thing I miss about Oregon, Robin said. The rain forest during the winter.

The first snow in New York is beautiful too, I remarked.

Dennis put a record on the stereo and Robin lit a joint, took a first toke and passed it to Tommy.

No thanks. I don’t smoke, he said. Grass makes me paranoid.

George?

No thanks. I’ll pass too

Dennis and Robin smoked the joint by themselves. They lay back down on their bed and closed their eyes. Though they were still awake, they talked very little.

Tommy and I slept for a while, waking up again in he middle of the afternoon. By then the sun had melted the snow. There was no sign of it when we went to Cala Foods to buy groceries.

Tommy meditated in my room while I cooked dinner for the two of us. We ate in the kitchen by candlelight, then listened to records on my stereo, which recently arrived from New York.

The landlord sent over a repairman to fix the furnace and it was running smoothly. Tommy and I made love again before going to sleep.

The next day I went over to Tommy’s place. We slept together every night for several weeks alternating between his apartment and mine.

I don’t understand why you didn’t say anything bout them, Tommy remarked the third or fourth time I was in his house. Most people have something positive or negative to say the first time they come over.

I noticed the pictures the first time. I just didn’t feel like saying anything.

Why not?

Because it’s your life, not mine. I don’t want to interfere with what you believe in. Religion is a very private matter.

Swami-ji has given me peace.

Good.

Do you know anything about him?

I’m not really interested.

I messed up my life taking too much acid, Tommy told me. If I don’t meditate each day I have nightmares. You don’t meditate?

No. I don’t have the patience. Or the interest.

It was one of the few times Tommy and I talked. What bound us together during our brief relationship were the smiles we exchanged and the easy affection that passed between us. The words I...